Post # 16
mrsnnn3 : oh cool! My husband is a biologist too (we work together actually) so that probably makes me *slightly* more patient with it…. but yeah I feel you, it sucks to be the one at home doing everything. Good luck mama! Daycare helps a LOT even though I feel guilty not seeing him for such a big chunk of the day.
missinthecity : that kind of travel frequency isn’t *tooooo* bad. Hopefully you both will adjust and the big payoff will come. Make sure you work on bottle feeding early! My son has some health issues and couldn’t get the hang of nursing, so I’ve been exclusively pumping for 9 months. That is helpful for travel, since I’m used to pumping so it’s not intimidating (although it is a hassle), and his dad is great at feeding him.
Post # 17
missinthecity : I think given you know this arrangement would be temporary as travel is expected to die down, I think you could power through and make it work but will need to think pretty critically about it.
If your SO also has a demanding/inconsistent hours job then it will be tricky to manage your travel without in-home support.
With your travel schedule I would probably look at a nanny or au pair at a minimum and probably a bi-weekly cleaner as well to lighten the load for your SO when you are away. I’d also optimize for as long of mat leave as possible – ideally 6 months so that baby is a little bit older once you start doing longer stretches away (5+ days).
This is definitely do-able but it will be hard and it will be your call whether it’s ‘worth it’ once you’re in the thick of it. I probably wouldn’t hold off TTC-ing, but also would go in with eyes wide open that to make this sustainable it will probably require more financial investment to make your SO’s life manageable while you’re away.
If your SO has a truly 9-5 with <1% variation in hours (e.g. having to stay late, having to take earlier meetings) then daycare could be an option but it would be a lot to go ~8 days without parenting-duties relief.
Post # 18
KittyYogi : TravelingBride31 : Thank you both! I do expect that it would be challenging for both D.H. and I and I appreciate everyone giving me a realistic perspective. I really love my job, but I don’t want to wait too long if my travel ends up going on for longer than I expect. Greatly appreciate the insights – my husband and I have a lot to think/talk about!