Working part time when you don't have kids

posted 2 weeks ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
3185 posts
Sugar bee

Taking care of house stuff, cooking, food shopping, etc. is a job in itself. If it’s working well for you to be handling the majority of that, still bringing in some income, and both you and your FI are happy with the situation, why change? Who gives a crap what some snarky “friends” say? 

Post # 3
Member
2618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I worked for the State and before having a baby and often had my hours or even position cut. I found I was happiest working .75 FTE. I had time to cook, clean, work out, do hobbies while still bringing in a respectable salary. Money isn’t everything. Time is also a precious resource.

However, can you use your DH’s job for your insurance instead? I used to call HR and demand “change of life” under “job loss” when they cut my hours and expected me to keep paying for my current plan. Because you just lost a percentage of your job! 

And while you are changing insurance, you may want to consider changing friends too. I’ve had shitty people I can’t avoid like DH’s family saying “Must be nice,” but I would never tolerate that from a “friend”. Jealousy is so toxic to a relationship. 

Post # 4
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I work 24 hours a week and we don’t have kids, I like part time working. Means I only work 3 days and can relax and do other stuff during the week

Post # 5
Member
5319 posts
Bee Keeper

I think this is one of those instances where the jealousy card is the one to play- those snide ‘must be nice’ comments you’re getting are nothing more than sour grapes!

Plus- you do PLENTY. You hold down a good job with benefits you love and your recent decreased hours have benefitted both you and your FI- and it sounds like he’s a gem of a partner that appreciates the extras you’ve taken on at home. 

IA with your FI, if it’s financially do-able for you to be PT for now and you’re both happy with this, then don’t look for another job just because you may get more hours when you currently love the hospital you’re with. If further cuts are made and it becomes financially undesirable then you may have to look at other options, but for now it sounds like the only issue is that petty jealous people are making comments that make you feel guilty. 

My own work hours are all over the map- during busy times I work 60+ hours a week, slow periods (summer) about 25. My DH is the opposite, summer is his busy period and often 6 days per week, a few slow winter months this can drop to 30 hours/week. And I find whichever one of us has the lesser work hours tends to do more at home so it all balances out. 

Haters gonna hate, realize their snotty comments are rooted in begrudging you doing what they likely wish they could do too. 

Post # 6
Member
885 posts
Busy bee

redmango :  When you are taking on more of the household duties, you usually end up working more than full time; you essentially have 2 part-tiime jobs. 

I agree that the snide comments are almost certainly coming from a place of jealousy and there’s no need to pay them any mind. You are doing what’s best for your family, and the commentary from people outside that sphere isn’t fully informed.

You have obviously carefully considered your options, and this one is what’s best right now. You are clearly contributing to the household in a meaningful way. You can feel good about that, even if it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it might. 

Post # 7
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

My official position outside the home is part time. But I can usually pick up extra work that gets me to or close to full time if I want, though I don’t often do that. I usually stay in an 18-24 hour range. I prefer 18 in fact.

My position inside the home is just as many hours per week. Combined I am working full time. If I pick up extra outside work I am then working well over full time.

It works great for our household. I do not feel the least bit guilty. There’s no reason to. I work and contribute plenty, definitely my fair share.

I have actually had a friend say, “must be nice”! I didn’t take offense to it. I thought she really thought it must be nice for me. And it is, she’s right.

If people are jealous of you that’s on them and it’s their own issue to sort out. Don’t let them make you doubt yourself. It’s your life, your work, your time and your marriage, not anyone else’s. Do not be apologetic for making the choices that are best for you.

Post # 8
Member
1337 posts
Bumble bee

Ive done this in the past and would absolutely choose to do it again. My husband and I are so much happier when one of us is at home because the apartment is clean and all chores are done leaving evenings and weekends to just relax. Unfortunately in my area, most of the part time positions dont give you benefits so I feel forced to apply to full time positions. I received nasty comments in the past, usually from friends or co-workers who would always moan about how busy their lives were and how much they resented working so much. I would ignore them now, it definitely comes from a point of jealousy. If you can afford to stay part time and are happy in your position, stick with it! 

Post # 10
Member
14137 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I work to live, not live to work… so of course it’d be nice to not work so many hours and have more free time to cook, or maintain the house better, workout, what not.  But it is going to be a trade off too.  More money equals more savings, or more vacations, or updates.  It all comes down to what’s more important to you unless your husband were making more than enough for you guys to have it all.  Personally, as much as I would love to be part time, I do love the money more and value that more than the extra 20 hours a week I could have for myself at the moment. 

Post # 11
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I work usually 3 days a week, sometimes more if a co-worker is off. It’s the job I found when I moved away from home to be with DH, it’s the area I’m good at, qualified for, and interested in, so a selfish part of me doesn’t want to find a less-fulfilling full time job. I sometimes feel a little bad, mostly that I should be bringing in more money, but I earn enough to pay my share of the mortgage and bills. I do the cleaning/cooking/laundry etc. and it is really nice to not have to spend a weekend off doing those things, like I did when working full time! 

If you don’t need to look for another position right now, and you and FI are both OK with where you’re at at the moment, I wouldn’t feel the need to immediately search for something else. Maybe further down the line when you have other things in life that need more money, or when you want to or feel the need to. 

Post # 12
Member
3585 posts
Sugar bee

Just smile and answer that there are pros and cons, such as putting off that vacation you wanted to take, and let it go. I was sometimes jealous of my friends who were able to work part-time and as much as I know I couldn’t stand to do it for long even more so of my friends who don’t have to work at all. It doesn’t mean they think less of you or question your priorities, it’s more a statement of their own.

Post # 13
Member
5968 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

redmango :  

Huh?  How is it anybody’s business other than yours and your Fi’s how much you work outside your home?

As long as your Fi is on board, you’re perfectly free to eat chocolate and drink mimosas all day, if that’s what you want to do.

Lose the guilt.  It serves no purpose, but it does block you from accessing your own inner wisdom.

That said, I was the same way in my younger days.  I’m old enough now not to give a rip, I just work on what I want to now, my own way.

Work ethic is priceless.  Don’t weaponize it.

Post # 14
Member
977 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

If you are financially comfortable and not struggling, then enjoy it! If the money is causing you extra stress, what about finding an additional per diem job to pick up hours when you want, and using that solely for savings for your home renovations or vacations?  Also as another poster mentioned, combining your benefits (maybe once you are married depending on the rules at your fiance’s job) if he is full time it is probably cheaper to have you go on his plan than keeping separate ones? 

Post # 15
Member
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

On the “must be nice” comments — “It was unfortunate my hours were cut, but yes, it is nice. We’re very blessed.”

Smile and be happy. You get one life; there’s no reason to waste it working standard hours.

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