(Closed) Working women-marriage- and never letting yourself go? amazing (:

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had my son at 16 and although my mother did not work she did not assist at all. I had to put him in daycare while I finished high school and his father kept him at night so I could work to pay for the daycare. At the time I was so angry with her for not helping but now that I look back it was the best thing she could have done. My son is now 10 and I have been working since right after he was born so for me I guess I am just used to it. I get dressed up for work everyday, do my hair and makeup, and always have. I really don’t know how to tell you how I do besides I just do, lol! Right now our kitchen is being renovated but, when it wasn’t I still cooked dinner at least 4 nights a week as well. I am also a neat freak so I am constantly cleaning and straightening up and I handle all of the laundry for the house. When it comes to cleaning I just do a little each night while dinner is cooking or once we have eaten and then save the big jobs for the weekend (laundry, mopping, bathroom, etc.) I think once it’s thrown at you you just adjust. Hope that helps a little although I really didn’t give you any advice.

Post # 4
Member
2100 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Well my first marriage was to “Peter Pan” so I had to manage a home a career and two wonderful children.  No opportunity to be a Stay-At-Home Mom and I had a corporate job so had to balance and juggle lots. Then I was a single mom for 5 years.

I gave up sleep to a degree.  I learned to manage my time.  The internet is my friend and multitasking is a must.  I live by lists.  Your career has to be the kind that works with family responsibilities and I have been in IT which demands long hours but very flexible.  If you have a family that helps it is wonderful. I did not. One of my annual birthday presents is that my parents would pick my kids up from school to give me a break.  1 day a year.

Now that I am getting remarried to a wonderful man who has a career and helps with the house I get to play a lot more and I am in management so I have lost some flexibility but my kids are both teens and I have help.

You just do what you have to do but make sure you see the blessings in the work 🙂

Post # 5
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@al1988: It’s not easy 🙂

I run my own business, care for my husband and my 3 year old bonus son, and still manage to work out 5 times per week, and cook 6 nights a week. My house is very clean (obviously occassionally kids toys around), and people ask me all the time how do I get it done? 

I have an amazing husband that’s how 🙂 He does little things that help me keep up the facade of perfection lol. He takes out the garbage, he brings all the laundry to the laundry room and will toss a load in, he also cleans up the kitchen after I cook, which is an amazing bonus. He still leaves his socks in the living room and underwear on the floor but having someone that helps out a little goes a long way. 

Post # 6
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I have a full time job in the oil and gas industry, a nearly three year old from a previous marriage, a fiance, and two companies I am working on starting up.

Like the other posters, I also just manage my time well and I multitask. I shop for nice clothes, get a mani/pedi on my lunch breaks OR right before I pick up my daughter from school, which actually helps let the traffic die down. My commute with her is an hour or more. 

Her father is wonderful and takes her as scheduled a couple weekends every two months. She is with us the remainder. Her “Papa Dave” (my FI) is WONDERFUL! He lets me sleep in on the weekends so he and the little one can have quality time in the mornings. We switch off on the cooking, or we go out to eat. 

I still work out, too. I put away 30 minutes a night to ride my bike trainer and watch Mad Men or something like that at the same time. Then I do 10 minutes of relaxing yoga.

Our weekends are just as busy, we keep the same speed all week long! Up between 5 and 6 and bed around 10-11. I’ve learned to keep things on routine.  The little ones do well with routine, thus I have never had any issues with bedtime or sleeping through the night with her. She has always been 7:30p to 6am. 

Anyway, it’s possible!! Set little goals for yourself and make lists! I have lists and alerts and reminders and calendars GALORE! My iphone and Gmail have been the best thing for me. 

ETA: Hire a housekeeper! This is also my saving grace. He comes in every Friday morning. The house is always clean. It is by far the one expense that is pretty much mandatory in our house. Plus he’s like family, I’ve had him for nearly 4 years, he’s a sweetie to my daughter when he sees her. 
 

 

Post # 7
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Recently on the Today Show they showcased a study that women who don’t expect to be able to do everything perfectly live a happier life and experience less depression.

So, first, do expect that everyday everything is perfect.

Sometimes things just have to be good enough. Pick up a roast chicken for dinner and to the laundry one day if you need to.

I think the other piece is planning. I feel like my mom was one of those people that did everything.  

IE. She put dinner in the crockpot before work. left for work at 630 AM.  She’d come home around 530-6 and clean one room of the house and make sure her kids did their chairs. Before my father came home at 7 she would go upstairs and spend 5 minutes fixing her makeup. 

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