Post # 1
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - Aloft Hotel
It took me 2 months of gruelling work (countless apps, about a dozen interviews) to find a full time job. The job I got however, was just about perfect for me and I considered myself very lucky, even if the pay wasn’t that great. The main problem I’m dealing with though, is the fact that I work directly beneath the owner, who can be an absolute monster. We have a running joke at the office that if you can take a week of my boss you’re a veteran. After only being here a month I’ve seen 2 people quit, one of which couldn’t last an entire day.
It’s commonplace for my boss to yell, demean, and belittle her employees for asking questions or making simple mistakes. She’ll tell them their work is shit and they need to start over and things need to be done EXACTLY as she specifies. She’ll get frustrated with people and abandon them when they ask for help, leaving them to struggle and getting upset if it isn’t just right. When I first started she really liked me but yesterday something changed and I encountered an absolute nightmare. Throughout the day she was already snippy with me but it turned into a disaster with one particular incident. I put about people from an email list of 150 in bcc instead of emailing them individually, which she thought was a security breach in case a customer got ahold of the email list and sent them spam/complained about her business. She was incredibly upset and in order to try and rectify the situation I explained my reasoning behind my actions and tried to discuss why I believed other people can’t see who was included in an email if you put the list in bcc. I evne showed her evidence from online but she countered with something she saw on wikipedia. I made a huge mistake trying to argue because my boss is right. And the yelling/belittling got even worse. Eventually I just sat in silence and took it.
The rest of the day was awkward and horrible. To make matters worse the email list I was highlighting to indicate who I had messaged (I only sent about 30 people the first email) she reset so I have no idea who has and hasn’t gotten the message. Her response to my pointing this out was a shrug. Before I left I apologized again and explained that I take my job very seriously. I said I want to succeed but it doesn’t help me help her when she speaks to me in the way she did earlier. Her response was basically that she’s the boss, I’m the employee, and I just need to keep my mouth shut and do what she asks. Our working relationship is effectively ruined.
For the sake of brevity I haven’t specifically highlighted the daily instances of abuse this woman puts her employees through, but hopefully you get a general idea. After the day I had yesterday I spent about an hour sobbing, mourning the fact that I’ve lost a job that I previously loved. Today was my day off so I’ve been thinking long and hard but still can’t come up with a solution. FI thinks I should go in tomorrow and turn in my resignation and start looking for something else. He makes enough to support us. I, on the other hand, am tossing around the idea of staying until I can find something else. While my FI makes good money, he doesn’t make enough for us to meet the financial goals we’ve set on his own. Plus, I’m just happier with something to do while he works long hours in a new city. I’m not sure if I can take the abuse anymore, but the idea of starting the job hunt all over again without something to fall back on is also a miserable thought.<br /><br /> Any opinions are appreciated. Thanks bees!
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This topic was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by chickspartan. Reason: Spacing issues
Post # 2
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
I’d start looking for something else, pronto. I think you’ve only seen the beginning of the torture your boss can dish out and it’s unlikely the situation will improve.
If you can’t kind something in the next 60 days, I’d spend another 30 days looking for a job as well as volunteer opportunities . One or the other will pan out and you’ll be occupied during the days. If you end up volunteering instead of working, you can keep looking for work until you find a good fit. You’re extremely lucky that you don’t have to endure this job just to make ends meet.
Post # 4
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
I’d start looking for something else. I wouldnt quit until you find another job, though.
Can you complain to one of her higher-ups? Send an anonymous complaint?
Post # 5
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - Aloft Hotel
LoveBugBee: Thanks so much for the tip, I hadn’t even thought of volunteering somewhere to keep myself occupied and possibly even get some references. If I do end up leaving immediately I’ll definitely find an opportunity to help out an organization with my time. I do count myself incredibly fortunate that I have a choice in whether or not to keep my job, maybe I can use my luck to help others.
Post # 6
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - Aloft Hotel
mrswestcoast: Unfortunately since she’s the owner there is no one higher up. There’s only about 10 people in the office.
Post # 7
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
chickspartan: Oh gotcha.
I definitely missed the part about your job not being necessary to survive- so I would like to amend my previous response:
QUIT!!!!!
And make sure to send her a long, detailed, and blunt email about how awful she is as an employer. If you dont need to work here to survive, you shouldnt have to endure a job that makes you sob and a boss that makes you feel like shit.
Good luck!
Post # 8
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - Aloft Hotel
mrswestcoast: Thanks! Definitely what I’m leaning toward. 😉
Post # 9
Member
5664 posts
Bee Keeper
I would start looking elsewhere but never quit a solid job without a new one lined up I always say!
Post # 10
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
I disagree with PP. Yes, you might not need a job to survive, but depending on your industry, people talk. And sending your boss a nasty email quiting, or leaving after a disagreement isn’t going to reflect well on you, even if you were in the right.
This just happened…give it a few days to let it breathe and see how things are when you go back in.
If it took you so long to find this job, who knows how long it might take this time around.
Post # 11
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
chickspartan: start looking for something else without quitting, unless you really get to the point you can’t take it. Meanwhile, when you start looking for jobs, you start emotionally detaching yourself from this one and it might make you feel a bit better. Good luck!
On a side note, I didnt know BCC was not entirely hidden?
Post # 12
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
sara_tiara: this. Never burn your bridges. As much as you would like to get the last word, don’t do it. It may come back and bite you. Word travels far.
Post # 13
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee
Unless everyone else knows this woman and how difficult she is to work with/for, they may side eye a resume where you were out of work for awhile and then only stayed here a short time.
Personally I’d try to stick this one out as you’re looking hard for the next job. Fortunately if it’s just too much, your FI’s income does give you options.
Post # 14
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
I would not stay and I would look for new work before quitting. Potential employers tend to hold currently-employed people with higher regard than those unemployed and looking. Also, I WOULD NOT leave your boss a nasty e-mail or letter. Not only is that “burning bridges,” but it’s also hard evidence that she could give to anyone should your work references be checked. I am so sorry you are going through this, and I wish you much luck for a better job!
Post # 15
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee
chickspartan: thankfully it sounds like your co-workers probably feel the same way at least. If I were you I would keep my head down and just try to do as much work with as little drama as possible while looking for another job. It isn’t easy to go completely without work, but even if you can find something part time to tie you over it will be better than working there.
