Post # 16
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
Do NOT quit until you have a new job. If you were in a high demand field with more jobs than applicants, that would be different. But given that it took you 2 months to get this job, it’s unlikely that you’d get another one right away. At some point in everyone’s professional life, you’ve got to suck it up, smile and deal.
Also, something to keep in mind – she’s right about a couple things. She wanted emails done one way, you chose to do it your own way. She IS your boss, and if she wants them done individually, then do it. If you want respect, do things correctly first, and then bring up a possible better way to do it.
Post # 17
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - Aloft Hotel
Barely_Blush: BCC actually is entirely hidden. I can’t re-edit my post to include the sarcasm about her being always right haha.
Post # 18
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - Aloft Hotel
Thanks for all the advice guys. It is definitely in my nature to leave a polite but vicious email telling her about herself, but I know that’s not the right way to go haha. So when I leave I will do so professionally. <br /><br />I’m thinking I’ll go into work tomorrow and see how things go. Hopefully it’s quiet and I can just keep my head down and get my work done without too much drama. If she attacks me again, though, I’m not a doormat and I will insist that as a fellow human being she treats me with some respect, even if she is my employer.<br /><br />I hate that because of the society we live in I’m expected to just put up with this bulls**t and be thankful I have a job in the first place. I wish I lived in a better world. But I don’t, so I’ll go into work and hope for the best.
Post # 19
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
sara_tiara: +1. I won’t have the popular opinion. You did make a mistake. Unless she threw something at you, called you a nasty name, touched you… It’s sort of one of those things that I would suck up. Many bosses are like this, especially successful folks who tend to be those “Type A” personalities. They want it done right, and quickly. I’m a pretty tough cookie, though. So, this is something that I would not take super personally and/or dwell on. I’d apologize for, rectify the best way I knew how and move on. In the meantime, look for another job. I would not quit with no notice, though. Unless something horribly absurd happens. You described my former boss to a T. I still demanded respect in a professional manner, but was accountable for my actions, while still being dang good at my job. It was hard some days. I’d managed to get one of the most coveted position in the company within a couple of years. Most people couldn’t hack it, but the experience was invaluable to me and I knew it’d be worth it, at the time. After six years of experience, I figured I’d paid my dues and had a pretty competitive resume. It was only then that I left and found my “dream job”.
I’ve had things happen/seen behavior (whether by owner or coworkers) that I did not approve of at any job. In order to be successful in life, you have to be able to adapt and work with an abundance of personalities. Running everytime something happens in the workplace that you dislike (again, aside from *real* abuse), is going to get you nowhere pretty quickly.
Post # 20
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2015 - Aloft Hotel
Soon2bmarried123: Well then I suppose I would prefer to work in an environment where I was given some modicum of respect and decency than to be “succesful”. Success to me is not living in fear of the slightest mistake or dealing with verbally abusive people as a fact of life. Verbal and emotional abuse are “real” abuse. It makes me so sad that people think this behavior is normal or okay if it makes someone money. This is not my first job. This is not normal.
Post # 21
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee
chickspartan: I’m all for sticking things out but in this case, I’d just get out now. If your Fiance can support you in the meantime its not worth putting up with it.
I know job hunting is a pain in the bum but better to find a new job you really do like sooner rather than trying to stick it out with this one and leaving eventually anyway!
Post # 22
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
chickspartan: Confronting you about a mistake is not verbal abuse. Again, if she called you a name, screamed at you, etc… That would be, but we don’t know the entire conversation. I’m not saying her behavior was right or justified, I’m simply saying that many employers will not walk on eggshells as to avoid hurting their employee’s feelings. Some business owners are more difficult than others… Not everyone is cut out for it, hence the turnover in your short time there. However, a job is not always supposed to be fun. Rewarding at times? Sure. However, a new job is full of trials and error. You said she was great, until you made a mistake.
So, it doesn’t seem as though she’s been that horrible towards you, until an error was made. And, at that point, you debated quitting… Based solely on a single occurrence? Let’s also not forget that she gave you an opportunity when no one else would.
I agree that the way some business owners/managers treat their employees *is* quite sad. Especially some of the forms of harassment some bees endure. Likewise, there are many employees who think they are entitled to certain things, without them having to be earned.
Post # 23
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
I worked in an environment exactly like this for a year. A YEAR! Directly under the owner. I quit. No job, no prospects. Best move I ever made. My health greatly improved. Go. Don’t. Look. Back.
Post # 24
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
chickspartan: You described your situation in a way that makes it seem like this was the first time your were the object of her abuse. Until then, you liked (and still do like) the job. Your post gives conflicting impressions.
