(Closed) Worried about Bride’s TODOs

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow that is a lot of stuff she has not done. Is it possible she’s putting it off because she may not get married in June? I hate to bring it up, but yeah.

2.5 months to find things like a photographer?! THat is bad. I think the florist, band/dj, officiant, photographer, and baker need to be done this weekend. She’s just gonna have to go with who’s free for the most part. UNLESS she does a cake from like, Sam’s Club. I ordered mine, oh, a month in advance but i did SHEET cakes. They only needed 48 hours notice by the way. They should start looking for bands, soon, too, but I admit I didn’t purchase mine until like 2 weeks before the wedding. They came in, oh, Friday. We got married the next day. We just couldn’t find ones we wanted BUT we were ok buying them after the wedding cuz we didn’t want to settle. In the next couple of weeks, she needs to get a jump on teh rehearsal dinner (i did this 4 weeks in advance, oops!), hotel, favors, and shower guest list. Honestly i think it’s better to just skip favors or just buy some cute candies and call it a day. Registering for gifts takes a LONG time and she needs to do that asap, too! People buy gifts early

Send her an email and just be like, “hey i’m worried you haven’t done these things yet. Is there anything I can do to help check things off your list? I’m worried you’ll be SUPER stressed the month before and you wonm’t be able to get what you want”.

Her lack of things she’s done is stressing ME out! =]

Post # 5
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

WOW…that’s a heck of a lot left for only 2.5 months! I agree with just reminding her and asking her if she needs help with anything.

Post # 6
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Heh, well as someone who is not having a cake I think there is a good chance she is just fine!  Are you sure that some of these things like baker and photographer and hotel room aren’t things that she just mentioned maybe doing if she finds someone and that she’s okay skipping it?  Things tend to work out for weddings so as long as she has a venue and food and drink for guests I think it will all be good!

I wasn’t sure about registering (though I have, in one place, for about 50 items) and certainly the truly traditional thing is not to register at all.  ๐Ÿ™‚

I think you’re a great friend and your offers to help out are spot on.  However every wedding has a different vibe to it and some are more planned out than others.  I would let it go and be cheerfully helpful if (when!) she asks for help.  The less structured weddings tend to turn out great but do require help at the last minute from family and friends! 

Post # 8
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I was just in a wedding like this. I was the most stressful thing I have even been involved in. But the thing is the bride wasn’t stressed at all. Our dresses still weren’t altered as of the morning of her wedding. The wedding ended up happening and things worked themseleves out (not neccesarily as planned) and the bride couldn’t be happier. All you can do if offer to help and offer to relieve some stress. I guess if she doesn’t want help then this falls on her since it’s her wedding.

Post # 9
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Adira, I believe that she would like these things, it’s just that sometimes, at least for me, like = if I can get it with minimal stress and have time for it and it otherwise makes sense.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Certainly if these things are important to her she’s left them quite late and really needs to get a move on.

Post # 13
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Depends on the day of the week they’re marrying, too.  I’m getting married in July, but on a Friday, and I’m still finding plenty of availability for photogs, etc.  

Let’s see… of the things on your list, I haven’t done the following:


  • Figure out DJ/band/music for reception
  • Find and book florist (I only need bouquets/bouts/corsages, doing mostly non floral centerpieces)
  • Find and book photographer (We’re working on this, should have contract by end of next week)
  • Find and book rehearsal dinner location (we might just have BBQ in the back yard)
  • Book hotel room for wedding night (we don’t know for sure if we’re doing this)
  • Shop for and purchase wedding bands (will be done in next two weeks)
  • Make or buy favors (I know what we’re doing, but haven’t bought them)

and additionally, we still need to:

  • book honeymoon

Of these, only the photographer and the honeymoon are stressing me out (and mostly cuz I just want to decide on a photographer – my Fiance is picky – and because flights jumped $100 a person last week. they better go back down!)

So, I’m sort of in her boat, but in my case, it’s working out.  All of the photographers I’ve contacted still have my date free, and that’s the most important thing left.  Your friend will probably start moving on things soon, but you being there to offer help will probably be greatly appreciated! (But if she is getting married on a Saturday, I agree with the others… she’s, well, not doomed, but best get her move on!)

Post # 14
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I’d be freaking out if I were her, buy maybe she’s just UBER laid back, know what I mean (well… is she??!?).  Also, maybe the things on that list aren’t super important to her? Really, the only thing she NEEDS is an officiant.

I’m just throwing out ideas…..

Post # 15
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

As a bride that is getting married in that time frame I would be SO stressed out if I didn’t have all my major vendors booked.  But a lot of those things like officiant and photographer she kind of needs to figure out for herself.  You have to assume she’ll get it done eventually.

It’s really great that you are a Maid/Matron of Honor who cares so much…my Maid/Matron of Honor hasn’t really done anything for my wedding and we only talk about it when I bring up something specific which I try not to do too much.

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