(Closed) Worried about FI

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

For all future trips you need to make sure you have the name of the hotel where he’s staying and what conference he’s attending as well as his departing and arriving flight info.  Over 24 hours with no contact is scary and even a bit suspicious since you have no information about his flights or where he’s staying.

Post # 33
Member
2635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@Anna10-05-2014:  I’ve been where you are and know how bad the worry is.  Before we were married, DH and I were in a LDR and the only way I could function is to make sure we checked in w/ eachother on a regular basis.  I knew he was going out w/ friends one night and he said he would be back at home by midnight and he would call as soon as he got in.  Long story short, I didn’t hear from him til the next day.  He had been the DD and was in an area w/out cell service.  The worry was AWFUL, but in the end I eventually heard from him. 

Try to keep yourself as busy as possibly so you don’t dwell on the worry!

Post # 34
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I do the same thing when I haven’t heard from Fiance. and, fwiw, I rarely know more about his work trips than the general area and general landing times (and then if he’s delayed he’ll sometimes call me bored). It doesn’t mean anything fishy that I don’t know the details- I just trust him and have my own stuff going on. I do typically know where he’s working (he opens new stores for a retailer that we both work for in the corporate headquarters).

Post # 38
Member
4430 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry, but my husband (I know he’s not YOUR husband..) but he goes away often for work…I ALWAYS know where he’s staying, he texts me and even likes to facetime in the hotel room.  He even asks for advice on what places to book for hotel, airfare before he sends it off to be expensed. 

It just seems totally odd to me.

Whether he’s on a plane or not doesn’t matter either, my husband has had to go to the MidWest, to Maine and to Upstate NY…He would always text me to say hes landed.

I guess we just communicate everything to eachother thats all.

Post # 39
Member
3484 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@BellaDee:  Both DH and I travel a lot for work. When we first started travelling so much we would make sure the other had all the details, but now it is just too much to go through (at some points in the year I am in 3 countries in one week)

 

Post # 40
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@Anna10-05-2014: 

 

@rickhurst35:  @BellaDee:  @Jewelieee: @beachbride1216:

I don’t think it sounds particularly fishy that you don’t know his flight or hotel information, or really enough information to figure out where he’s staying. I travel a ton for work, and I always tell my husband what state I am (usually city, too) in and the general time frames of my flights, but rarely do I give him details on where I am staying or flight numbers (but now that I’m thinking of it…and in this situation…it might be a good idea!).

But yes, OP I can totally see that you would be worried. It is VERY weird that you haven’t heard from him in so long. Unless I know for a fact that my husband is doing something like giving a big presentation, etc. the exact moment I land, I always, always, always text him first thing when I land. 

Do you have any contact information of his colleagues who might know where he is? Does he use a travel agency for work that might have his hotel? It’s probably a cell phone issue, but still, I would be pretty upset if my husband didn’t find some way to get in touch.

Keep us updated! 

Post # 41
Member
4430 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@kate02121:  when you couple that with unanswered texts and phone calls after many many hours…it is fishy!

 

Post # 42
Member
13943 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ok, so it’s been more than 30 hours since he left — and no word, at all?  OP, this is really fishy and I hope there’s a simple explanation to what’s going on!

Post # 43
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

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@Anna10-05-2014:  If my SO sent my call straight to voicemail after not getting in touch with me for over 24 hours, I would be infuriated. Now you know his phone is on – it takes five seconds to answer a text and write something like “here safely, will call soon”. Even if he were busy with work, he should be able to find the time to do that.

I really hope this story has a happy ending, and if so, you can sit down and talk with him about communication expectations on any trips in the future… but honestly, I have a bad feeling about this.

Post # 44
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@BellaDee:  +1. Even when I’m on a different continent, putting in 12 hours days at work conferences, somehow I ALWAYS manage to touch base back home. Time difference and all.

At best, this is just a really naive moment for OP and her Fiance, and next time, they’ll exchange travel info. Always, always, always have his travel information, for safety reasons if nothing else!

At worst, yeah, it’s pretty fishy.

Post # 45
Member
3484 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@BellaDee:  Not really. My DH is THE WORST for answering texts or his phone. It is actually a running joke in his family that none of us can ever get hold of him. We usually text when we land or try to call, but tbh when you are away for work it is not always possible (especially for me)

 

Post # 46
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@BellaDee:  I don’t disagree with that part! I’d be so mad. Just that solely not knowing flight / hotel info alone doesn’t seem suspicious to me (or maybe my husband is suspicious every time and I just don’t know haha).

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