(Closed) Worried about finances :-/

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
5671 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am sorry and feel your pain!

I feel like I am getting depressed during pregnancy just worrying about money. I keep looking at the numbers and budget hoping they are going to change. And like you DH doesn’t have a set income (unemployed) so I keep looking at the worst possible situation. I feel like I knew this before and still got pregnant and as excited as I am as time gets closer I have thought about whether this was a mistake that my daughter will suffer for. DH constantly reasures me that this falls on his shoulders and he will work around the clock 24 hrs/7days a week if needed. But of course I still want to cry.

What does your DH have to say? Does he want you to be a SAHM? If he is unable to meet the commisions that you need, is he willing to pick up a second job?

If you plugged in the best case scenario with his commisions what does the budget look like then?

 

Post # 4
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

It is ok to stress about money. And you have to grieve a little about the loss of your “ideal” plan. But nobody’s life turns out the way they planned nor imagined it. So even though things won’t go the way you want them to, they’ll still work out just fine in the end. being a SAHM is not something many women are able to do in this day and age. You aren’t alone.

Post # 6
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I hear you. We are getting ready to TTC and I worry about this. We don’t have enough in savings for an emergency fund and we won’t be able to save if we are paying for daycare (even with major cutbacks) so I wonder if I should wait to TTC. But then I’m like, well there will never be enough $ and I am 30 so we should just do it. It’s really stressful though!

Post # 7
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

We just started TTC and I’m stressing out about money a little bit myself.  Logically, I think everything will be okay assuming that nothing changes between now and this time next year.  I may or may not be secretly hoping that the first few months will be unsuccessful so that I will be a little closer to my 1-year probationary period being up when I take maternity leave and so that I’ll have a few more days of leave built up in case there is a problem.  I will be the working parent and SO will be a SAHD.  This is not exactly by choice, but I couldn’t ask for a better arrangement at this point.  Granted, I might not be able to put as much into the college fund each month as I’d like, but it will all work out okay in the end. 

Right now the plan is to breastfeed and use cloth diapers.  Maybe that is something that you can do to reduce the amount of money you are spending on baby?  Those are huge money savers.  You might also look into bartering for child care if you only work a few days a week then you could watch someone else’s child on the days you don’t work and they could watch your’s on the days you do.  This of course might not be workable until the baby is older though.  Otherwise, I’d just say look into ways to cut general expenses down: cancel cable (TV’s not good for baby anyway), get slower Internet connection or cut it altogether, use coupons for groceries, etc.

Post # 8
Member
5671 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MamaHusky3- If he wants to take on that burden, sometimes you just need to trust that you are a team and he will come through for you. I of course can’t seem to take my own advice but DH is begging me to trust him. The way you always dreamed of being a SAHM is the way he always dreamed of being able to support his family. I am an absolute control freak so letting DH be in charge of finances is crazy to me and is driving me insane but he also has as much say in this relationship as I do. If it’s something you both really want and he is willing to work crazy to make it work, then it might be up for discussion.

Post # 11
Member
5671 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Mamahusky3- I think we are the same! DH is away this week and is texting me now to trust him and have some faith because he still has three more months to figure this all out. I plan years down the road and this LO was planned but a surpise (we were told we needed fertility) so now that our timeline got moved up and our plan changed I can’t adjust haha. I am trying to do it and it’s hard, but make sure you let your DH have a say too. If he has never let you down and always found a way to make it work then you might have to just trust that the same will happen again. DH thinks I think of him as a little less of a man when I am so worried about relying on him to provide, not sure if your DH is the same but I just thought I would share if from a guy’s point of view.

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