Worried about infertility and TTC

posted 3 weeks ago in TTC
Post # 2
10387 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Sometimes I worry about it. But honestly, there’s absolutely no way to know until after you start trying and you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to play a guessing game with how things will turn out. I just deal with it by accepting fertility issues as a possibility and telling myself we’ll deal with it if we need to deal with it. Worrying about it now doesn’t change or help anything.

Post # 3
510 posts
Busy bee

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@katiebe:  I had irregular periods. My sister had infertility issues and needed ivf. My mother had multiple miscarriages and took years to become pregnant. With that history I worried I’d have trouble too. I got pregnant on our honeymoon directly after the wedding. We stopped preventing once we were married since we thought it might take a while and I was over 30. You just never know. 

It wouldn’t do any harm to mention your concerns to your doctor. S/he might be able to allay your fears, or at least give you more information on when to see them about any potential problems.

I’d only be really concerned at this point if you have a very tight timeline: like, if you’re 34 but hoping to have 6 kids before 40…

Post # 4
148 posts
Blushing bee

I did. I was super worried. I had super irregular cycles, to the point where I got a diagnosis of PCOS and got an IUD. I have worried and feared and all of these things, but wasn’t in a position to TTC until this year. I actually booked to see an RE before I even started trying. We checked some labs, did an ultrasound, and came up with a game plan for what I would do if I couldn’t ovulate of didn’t get pregnant. Having that made me feel like I had a lot more control in the process. I had a CP in cycle 2 so realized I was ovulating and we decided to give it some more time to see if I could get preggo. Even though for years I was convinced I would need “help” to get pregnant, I got naturally pregnant in cycle 4. I texted my RE to tell her I didn’t think I’d need her help anymore. It was money well spent for the peace of mind. If money isn’t an issue, I would consider getting a consult and getting some advice and guidance from someone whose job it is to get couples pregnant. 

Post # 5
177 posts
Blushing bee

I had major worries – I’ve always had an extremely regular cycle with very heavy periods. I’ve always suspected endometriosis but didn’t do the laposcopy to diagnose as my gyn wanted to treat with birth control. My boyfriend and I have both been previously married and he and his ex wife struggled with infertility. In their case she could not have children and he had a few male factors as well. Without getting into the tmi details it was extremely unlikely we’d be able to have children without IUI at least and I’m not sure how far I’d be willing to go with fertility treatments so I was very discouraged before even TTC.

This past fall we were discussing our timeline for marriage and children and decided a summer time wedding would be best. I told him my fears and how hard it would be to wait until after marriage to start trying when we knew we would likely struggle so we decided to immediately start trying not expecting anything. Well, now I’m 36 weeks pregnant because we got lucky on our first cycle trying. Now we’re thinking a winter/spring wedding is sounding much better lol 😉

The point is you never know. Sometimes perfectly healthy couples struggle for no reason while others with obvious conditions get pregnant. Don’t scare yourself about your moms endometriosis – you would likely have a good idea if you had it and plenty of people with it are able to get pregnant and have healthy pregnancies with little or no help. It’s hard to put TTC plans on hold when you’re ready to start so being worried or bummed is totally understandable! Remember it can take up to a year for any healthy couple to conceive and that’s normal!

Post # 6
5924 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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@katiebe:  bring ALL of your worries up at your next OBGYN appt. Its their job to help people WITH concerns and you’re justified considering your family history. It could be a good idea to run some tests, rule things out, make a plan on how to get off your birth control, what the best plan of action is. Don’t wait a year. 

Post # 7
4152 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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@katiebe:  I worry sometimes as well, even though we haven’t started TTC yet.  I brought all of my concerns up to my OBGYN and she made me feel a LOT better.  I have been focusing on doing my best to be as healthy as possible before (and eventually during) TTC, since that is what I can control right now.  Definitely speak up and talk to your doctor!  

Post # 8
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think it’s a very understandable worry and I definitely worried before we even started TTC too. My best advice would be to get off hormonal birth control (and use condoms or abstaining during any fertile days for the time being until you are ready to try) and see what your cycle does. It can take quite awhile for your cycle to even out after being on BC for a long time. You can learn a TON about your cycle and your body by temping and charting cervial mucus to confirm whether you are ovulating, even if your cycle isn’t regular. Seeing confirmed ovulation was very calming for me. If you don’t see if after awhile then you’ll know it’s time to get checked out! It’s just nice to feel empowered with info!

Post # 9
404 posts
Helper bee

I think it is common to worry about this. Heck, I still worry about it despite the fact I’ve had two surprise pregnancies while trying to prevent. What if now that I’m a few years older I won’t be as lucky? So yeah, it’s a normal worry. Try not to fret, more than likely you will be fine (I tell myself the same thing as I type this to you). 

Post # 10
65 posts
Worker bee

I worry about this too because my mum and sister have PCOS (I don’t though) and I’ve been on the pill for 5+ years. Won’t be trying for a baby for at least 2-3 years but I think about this all the time!

hope everything is clear for you 🙂

Post # 11
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I worried about this all the time! Probably my biggest fear for much of my life has been not being able to become a mother through one route or another, and yet I was also someone who really wanted to wait until my mid-30s to have kids. 

My fears came slightly true, as after a year of pretty focused trying we hadn’t conceived so we started fertility treatment. We got super lucky that we didn’t have to go too far down that road, and after three months of medicaiton and cycle monitoring I got pregnant and am now at 23 weeks. 

Anyhow… all that worrying wasn’t misplaced, but it also accomplished nothing and didn’t make me any more or less fertile when the time came! And FYI in our first consult with the feritlity specialist eight weeks before my 35th birthday he said “well, one factor in your favour is that you’re still very young!”.  I could have hugged him on the spot.

Post # 12
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

It depends on what country you are in, but in Canada they won’t see you unless you’ve been trying for a certain amount of time.

I worried about this a lot and in the end it wasn’t an issue for us at all, but that’s not to say that’s going to be the case. But, if it is the case and you need help for some reason, you will be able to seek out medical assistance. You always have options, and I hope that makes you feel better.

My period was always wonky after I stopped taking the pill too (I only took it for like two years).

Post # 13
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

I was very worried about this before we started trying! I’d had some pain issues and also had an IUD for 6 years, no periods, and was on the pill for years before that with very light (but regular) periods. I had no idea what to expect. Was over 30 when we started trying as well, which didn’t seem super young, although average age at first birth where I live is around 35 so in retrospect 31 wasn’t too wild. Anyways, got pregnant SUPER fast and am now 22 weeks! 

I think it’s a very normal fear to have but absolutely worth talking about with your doctor. They might not be able or willing to do any tests or anything now, but they can talk you through statistics and your overall reproductive health.

Post # 14
1873 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Endometriosis is definitely one of those things that you either have or you don’t, and it’s unmistakable. If you have none of the symptoms, you VERY likely don’t have it, but there is no harm in asking your OBGYN to confirm. You can also ask your mom if anything else runs in the family like PCOS or other fertility-risking conditions. If she says no, then you are extremely likely to be fine. If she says yes, then just bring it up to your GYN.

Infertility is not a common condition, but I do see, particularly on Instagram, influencers talk about it a lot. It can get into your head really easily – I know. Just try to keep some faith! I got pregnant on my honeymoon without even trying XD For a lot of people, definitely the majority, it just happens on its own. 

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