(Closed) worried about my friend..what can I do?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
963 posts
Busy bee

I think you need to let her be. It’snot really any of your business. Try and be happy for her and be a good friend. If things don’t turn out in the end she’ll need you.

Post # 4
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@myweddingbee:  There isnt much you can do. She is an adult and has made her decision. The best thing you can do is support her, even if you dont like her decisions. When (because it’s just a matter of time before he starts to control her) he does little things to control her, I might make a comment about “wow, that’s a little controling” because with time, she might not realize how controlling he is becoming. 

I would also encourage her to keep some money separate and not to let him have control of her passport. That way if she needs to leave, she can. 

Post # 5
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I know this is a really hard situation.  I can tell you care about her and about what happens to her.  But the PPs are right – it’s her decision.  There is really nothing you CAN do.  And I think even giving her your honest opinion will hurt her feelings, maybe even ruin your friendship with her.

If it were me, I would decide if this were something I could support her through.  And if she is a close enough friend, you should be able to.  Just be there for her.  If this is what she wants, be there.  And if it all goes down in flames, be there.  THAT is really all you can do.  You can’t make her do anything.

Post # 6
1651 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Like everyone else said, there isn’t much you can do, I know you are worried, and I hope this situation turns for the better, but if you tell her to leave him, it’s only going to make things worse and have her get mad at you.

To give you a different point of view, a lot of my friends didn’t like my Darling Husband at first. We were long distance and had a lot of misunderstandings. As we moved in, got married, we slowly started working through these misunderstandings and we’re a much stronger couple now. The friends that told me to leave him, I know they meant well, but it didn’t help. 

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