(Closed) Worried about My Grandmother

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I, unfortunately, experienced the same pain recently. My fiance and I have been together for 12 years. My mother introduced us when we were in high school. Our families have always wondered when we were going to get married. We have wanted to for a while, we just haven’t had the finances since our families are unable to help us pay for it. Well, about 11 months ago, my fiance and I decided we would get married soon and have a small ceremony with family. Before we could say anything to our families, my mother passed away. I was so distraught. That consumed my life for several months, and we weren’t able to begin planning until this past December. I feel so awful now that we waited so long because now my Mom is not alive to share this moment with us, especially since it is because of her that we are together. Although I know she will be there in spirit, it is not the same. My Grandmother also recently had some heart trouble. That is when we knew that now is the time. I already know that I am going to be a mess that day thinking about her ;( It is hard to say what you should do. I guess just do what you can. Although I miss my Mom, we could not have afforded to have a wedding any sooner. If we had, we would be filing for bankruptcy. Do what you can. Things will work out πŸ˜‰ Best of luck!

Post # 5
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@TwinABee:  Ya, I’ll never forget the day we met. We were in high school, and my fiance worked at a grocery store. My mom knew him because she had known his mother since shortly after he was born. I just never met him formally. My mom and his mom lost touch and then met up again. Well, we needed to go grocery shopping one day and my Mom asked me to come. I didn’t want to because, according to my 16-year-old self, I looked terrible πŸ˜‰ Anyway, I agreed to go, and she told me as we arrived that she wanted me to meet someone. Of course, I was like “no way, Mom.” So as we walked the aisles, she went looking for, unbeknownst to me, my future fiance. We met, and I was totally not attracted to him. Not interested at all. According to his mom, though, he went home that night and told her that he was in love with me πŸ˜‰ hehe….the feeling wasn’t mutual at first. But, my mom insisted that I go out with him. I guess she knew something I didn’t πŸ˜‰ We reflect on her bringing us together a lot.

My grandmother is doing better, thanks! It was touch and go. She went into cardiac arrest and died momentarily. It was very scary. But my grandmother is a tough cookie. She raised 6 kids on her own and has already lost 2 of them (one being my mom). That is funny that you want to go dress shopping with your grandmother. I thought that there was a possibility that my grandmother would not make it to see us get married next month. She actually lives in South Carolina, and I live in Pennsylvania. So, I flew down to see her and my aunt and go dress shopping πŸ˜‰ I didn’t know what life had in store, so I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. Luckily, she has recovered, although I know her time will come eventually ;( It actually worked out perfectly because I found my dream dress for $99…it had never even been tried on. It was as though it was waiting there just for me.

I know it is hard, and I wish I had an answer for you. When my mom was admitted to ICU in March of last year, I was just weeks away from moving to PA, and everything just came to a standstill. I basically lived at the hospital until we made the decision to let her go. As hard as that was, and as agonizing as I am sure the thought of losing your grandmother is, I just know, first hand, that everything happens for a reason. I do not know whether your grandmother has any major medical issues or whether you are just concerned about her old age. In any event, get her involved as much as you can, but the rest is out of your hands.

 

Post # 6
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i hope she is able to see you walk down the aisle, it is hard to go through. if she is not there, having a memorial for her as well (for example lighting a candle) will maybe help you, and i am sure your grandfather will be looking down on you on your special day πŸ™‚

 

my wedding won’t be til 2015 at the earliest, and my maternal grandmother is 84 with dementia, my other grandmother is 88 and lives thousands of miles away, in Wyoming  , USA. My maternal grandfather passed away when my mum was 9, so I never met him, and my other grandfather passed away when I was seven, and had only seen him a couple of times, due to living so far away. One of my cousins got married 2 and a half years ago and that was probably the last time my american grandmother would visit Australia, and every now and then I cry knowing that she probably won’t be able to see me walk down the aisle, and my other grandmother may not either. My mum’s parents got married in the church where i want to get married, and so did my parents, so I guess in that way, if my maternal grandmother isn’t around then I will remember her in that way. That I walked up the aisle where she once walked. 

Sorry for the long post, just this topic tugs at my heart. I truly hope your grandmother can be there to celebrate with you, and she will be, either in body or in spirit πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@TwinABee:  thanks so much, I will consider doing that πŸ™‚ hadn’t thought of that, thank you

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