- 12 months ago
I’m hurt by something my husband did recently and I’m hoping for some advice and perspective. My husband has this terrible (married) friend who likes to put together these “guys nights”, which usually end up involving him pulling random girls they meet in bars into the group of guys. He has also cheated on his wife a couple times in the past from what I have heard from my husband. My husband talks horribly about him and doesn’t understand how he could do this to his wife, etc etc, but he says they’ve been friends from high school and is part of their whole guys crowd so it’s hard to just cut him out. I cant stand the guy and don’t really get it, but whatever.
Anyway, they had a guys nights last weekend. I told him I’d stay up late so he could call me for a ride if he ended up drinking too much. I texted him at some point and asked if he was ok, and he told me not to worry, that he was sober. So I fell asleep and he got home about 45 min or so after that. Over the next couple of days, I find out that he was actually so drunk that he doesn’t remember driving home. I also find out that his friend, as usual, brought a group of girls he met at a bar into the mix. They all ended up at this dance club, which is one of those slutty types of places you go pick people up. My husband, feeling guilty, told me that he talked to one of these girls his friend invited and ended up dancing quite a bit with her. Like, inappropriate club dancing or whatever. From what he says, she was all over him and he just “went with the flow” and danced back. Maybe this doesn’t seem that bad, I don’t really know, but Ive always thought that my husband was the nicest guy in the world. He has always completely loved and respected me. He says that he was so drunk that he just thought he wasn’t doing anything wrong and just having a good time, but when he sobered up the next day, he was shocked when thinking about the whole night.
Although he doesn’t blame his friend for his own actions, he told me that he doesn’t want to hang out with guy anymore, and that he never wants to drink again (I didn’t ask him to do any of this). He keeps telling me how sorry he is, how much he loves me, etc.
Anyway, I just can’t wrap my head around it. Maybe I sound like a baby, because it’s just dancing and not kissing/sex or whatever, but I just can’t seem to get over it. I have always trusted him so much. But it makes me SO MAD that while I was in home, in bed, tired but staying awake so I could pick him up if he needed me (even though I had to work the next day), he was out at a club, dancing all over some stranger. And lying to me about being ok to drive.
Anyone else ever dealt with something like this? Or have any perspective? Am I blowing things out of proportion?