- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
I’m not really sure what I’m looking for by writing this post, but I think I just need to vent! My sister and BIL are having a baby in November, and while I am absolutely thrilled to pieces, I’m also a little worried because of a few things that happened this weekend at their gender reveal party at their house…as well as some past history things. See, my BIL is one of those “Alpha Male” types who, when you are in his territory, feels the need to make it known that he is the man of the house and has this controlling attitude about all of his possessions. Not to mention, he and I had an altercation last summer while on family vacation where he got in my face and was screaming at me…in front of my mom and sisters…all because I tried to confront him (honestly, I was super respectful when I did) about sitting on the couch and playing video games when he was supposed to be helping my sister, FI and me cook dinner when it was supposed to be a team effort. Like I seriously had my hands balled into fists because I was afraid he was going to try and hit me. So anyway, he has never once apologized for behaving that way and although I’ve let it go for my sister’s sake, I still have a difficult time not reliving that night when I’m around him. My mom actually asked my sister shortly after that incident if my BIL had ever hit her because it scared the living daylights out of my mom to see that he could get that angry and hostile and I’m just his SIL. How does he behave when it’s just him and my sister?? She says he has never hit her, and I think I believe her, but it still just concerns me.
So we’re at the party this weekend and everyone’s having a nice time, except that my sister wasn’t feeling very well. Instead of consoling her or trying to help make her comfortable, my BIL was barking orders at her to help him with the food or the drinks or this or that. My mom and I would tell her to just go sit down and we did it, instead, but he knew she wasn’t feeling great and still expected her to play this supporting role. It was very bothersome and my mom actually mentioned it to me this morning when I called her and said that she found it unsettling. Then, before we went to eat, my BIL said a prayer to bless the food and he said, “Thank you for everything you have given ME. Thank you for MY son.” Me.Me.Me.I.I.I. I hadn’t said anything to anyone else about how that bothered me, but this morning my mom said her eyes shot open when he said that and that she looked at my dad and he was staring at BIL with his jaw dropped…so clearly, I wasn’t the only one feeling that it was strange. The whole day just seemed to be all about BIL. He hardly acknowledged my sister, when he did he was very rude to her, and then the whole prayer thing… As I’m typing this out, I can see how this could probably sound like it’s no big deal, but if you knew the situation, you would understand how typical, yet bothersome this all is.
Like I said before, I don’t know what my purpose in writing this is. There’s nothing I can really do about it, because it’s their marriage, their baby, their life…but I am extremely close with my sister and this just sets off alarm bells for me. I always mind my own business and unless there is evidence that he is physically abusing her, I will probably just keep my mouth shut, but I think I needed to get this out. It’s hard to sit back and watch stuff like this play out, but even if I did say something, it would likely fall on deaf ears.