- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
I’m not engaged yet – waiting just like all of us are, but I know it’s coming. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5.5 years and living together for just over 2 of those years.
His parents (well, his mom, mostly) are really excited for us to get engaged. And married. And have babies. And all of that. He’s one of three boys, so I think that his mom is just psyched to finally, officially have a girl in the family. She’s so excited about it that she’s buying the engagement ring.
My parents, on the other hand, are not so excited. Well, my mom, mostly – I don’t think my dad really has any thoughts on the pending engagement at all. My mom, though, has said to me many times not to get engaged before I’m 30 (I’m 24). I’ve told her that’s ridiculous and that I don’t plan on dating my boyfriend for what would be 11 years before we get engaged. I know she’s partially joking, but she also isn’t – and I’m really afraid that she’s going to be mean or condescending when we do get engaged. I’m getting more and more worried because my boyfriend has made comments recently about how he still has to ask my parents permission (I’ve told him in the past that he has to talk to both my parents, not just my dad – mostly for this reason).
This also isn’t an issue of my mom not liking my boyfriend – she LOVES him and has already told me that someday, when I do get married, she couldn’t imagine anyone better.
I am nervous she’s going to a. tell him it’s a bad idea/not to do it or b. tell me that he asked them and let ME know she thinks it’s a bad idea. I don’t want the former to happen because then I think my boyfriend will feel uncomfortable asking me, and I don’t want the latter to happen because I want it to be a surprise.
Has anyone else had these issues prior to getting engaged? I want this coming event to be a really happy time and I’m worried that my mom is going to ruin some of that. She is also very traditional about some things and thinks that the bride’s family should pay for the entire wedding (despite that my bf comes from a family of all boys and are very wealthy), so I feel like if she isn’t supportive, I won’t be able to have a wedding. I know she will come around, but I just don’t want to deal with the drama of it all.
I don’t want to wait 4-5 years to get married, but at the same time, I want and need my mom to be happy about all of this! I have tried talking to her a little bit about this, but we’re both very stubborn and the conversations don’t really go anywhere.