(Closed) Worried about regional differences–plated dinner vs. buffet

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would do what feels right for you and your Fiance and not worry so much about what others think of those logistics.  If you feel that a buffet is more appropriate than your friends will be fine with it.  However, if you are having a lot of people who are not used to lack of table assignments and don’t know that they have to run and claim their seat, maybe table assignments would relieve some stress for everyone.

Post # 4
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Pick the option that you would like the best if you were attending a wedding.  Honestly, I’ve heard people complain about both (both options are common here) and say they prefer one or the other.  Hello people, you are getting fed!  Who cares how you get it?

Post # 5
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m from New Husband and buffet weddings are completely normal up here.  I think whatever you choose to do will be fine.  I’m having my wedding in July and we’re doing buffet too with a couple of carving stations and most of my friends have had buffet as well.

Post # 6
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m from the Northeast and while it is absolutely true that more weddings there are plated sit-down affairs than, say, in California—I actually just realized I have yet to go to one here that is formal!—I never feel slighted or find it odd when I go to buffet weddings—and in fact, we are doing a casual buffet in true West Coast style, even though our families are Northeasterners! If the parents found it odd, they haven’t told us so yet. 🙂

I’d do what you’re most comfortable with—your friends will enjoy it whatever “norm” they’re used to.

Post # 7
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2004

Maybe compromise with stations and basic table assignments?

Post # 8
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@oakster that’s so weird that you associate buffet with california.  I’ve been living in California almost my entire life and have only seen one buffet wedding.  People were very surprised by it actually as I think most people are used to platted dinners here.  

Post # 10
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We had a similar dilemma.  Finace is from the South and is used to no assigned seating and buffets. My family is from the Midwest and used to assigned seating and plated dinner.  We compromised and went with a buffet but assigned tables.  All the parents seem reasonably happy with the arrangement.

Post # 11
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

I just recently found out that there were regional differences and you’re right, most weddings I’ve been to were family-style or plated. But ours is going to be a buffet and I’m super excited! I don’t think guests would think it was weird, but table assignments wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Post # 12
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

you can’t make everyone happy, so do what you want. i think it’s ok if it’s different from what they’re used to, they will just learn how weddings are done near you.

Post # 13
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m from Baltimore, MD and both buffet dinners and plated dinners are popular. Plated dinners are just seen as more “ritzy,” but buffet dinners are just as common and totally acceptable.

 

I’m doing it!

Post # 14
Member
815 posts
Busy bee

I think your guests will adapt, if it’s something they’ve never experienced.  I went to my first Southern wedding last year, and I was a little surprised by the difference but I had a such great time!  It was really cool to experience something new!

Post # 15
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Meowkers, I should probably have specified Bay Area, since I think it may just be more of an SF/Oak/Berkeley thing! I haven’t been to any weddings in SoCal, but definitely find many upscale restaurants a little more formal there so I could imagine weddings might be similar (e.g., even at the schmancy restaurants here where dinners run $100/head, people periodically show up in jeans and sneakers—and the restaurant doesn’t bat an eye! The first time my parents came to visit us, they packed all these nice clothes for “dinners out” and we had to break it to them that around here, it’s pretty unusual to change for dinner…which I kind of miss!) I think there are lots of plated dinners here too, though—every caterer we got bids from gave us one quote each for plated and stations or buffet, so I’m guessing that means they get lots of requests for both. But again, about 2/3 of the weddings I’ve been to in the Bay Area have been outside or partially outside, and that strikes me as a little less formal from the get-go—most of the East Coast weddings I’ve been to have been in banquet halls or museums or places like that, which lend themselves more to plated meals, I think.

I really did have to think back to remember how food was served at all but the schmanciest of weddings, though, so I think the take-home point is that people will go with the flow, and at the end of the day will be more concerned with good company than with how the meal is served. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

I’m from the NE and buffets and plated dinners are both popular here.  I would do seating assignments though.  It’s tough trying to find a seat while holding your plate and silverware.  But, I’m sure whatever you choose will work out since you know your friends best.

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