Post # 1
Like many of you, I’m a newlywed and I’m also expecting a baby. My due date is just a week before my first anniversary.
My husband and I are both so excited for this (surprise!) baby. We feel very lucky. I’m 30 and he’s 31 so we weren’t going to wait much longer than we did but it definitely happened a little sooner than we anticipated. So far, its brought us closer than ever. He’s the best and I know he is going to be an amazing dad.
But I do worry sometimes about our relationship after the baby. We didn’t really have a chance to build a foundation and sometimes I worry that we needed more time just us.
Does anyone else in a similiar situation have the same concerns? Or any new parents that been through it with advice for me?
Thanks so much!
Post # 3
Best Wishes Mrs. Blue.
I have the same worries about together time to grow as a couple, so that’s why we’re holding off for now, although we can’t hold off for too long some I’m 36.
I don’t know what to tell you other than try to schedule a regular date night. I hope you get some good advice.
Post # 4
I’m not expecting and we aren’t really talking about it yet, but this is my biggest fear. I am seriously terrified of how things might change. I’m interested to see what the mothers on here suggest!
Post # 5
Dr. John Gottman offers a class here in Seattle that is basically like pre-marital counseling for couples about to have a baby. We’re going to be taking it through our local hospital, but aside from just having the class, he offers many books and other information that you can access from where you are.
His class has been shown statistically to markedly reduce the amount of marital conflict after baby is born. (More than almost any other intervention that has been studied!) I believe he was also featured in Malcom Gladwell’s book, Blink.l
Post # 6
A baby will change your relationship, but I don’t think you should worry that it’s a bad thing. On the flipside, you get to see a new side of your husband in his role as a father. And, the bond of becoming new parents together is an experience that you get to share with each other.
I love watching my SO with my kids (he’s not their biological dad, btw). There are sometimes when he’s showing my son how to do something, or they’re playing video games and I just fall in love with him again in that very moment.
Of course, it does take practice to learn how to handle being a new parent and a relationship. My suggestions are to be sure to make time that is just for you two. This doesn’t mean away from the baby (most moms don’t want to leave a new baby), but rather if the baby is napping, maybe have a lunch together that is just the two of you, or an in-home movie date night. Talk to each other about things that aren’t just how cute the baby is, or what the baby did today. And have sex. This seems to be a BIG one since the first couple years can be physically exhausting.
And try not to worry too much! Hugs!
Post # 7
I think you’re right on the sex thing. We practically have to schedule it even now with work and the fact that we are so tired after work and our long commutes.