Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2018 - England
So, I’m 26, very nearly 27, and while me and my husband know we want children now is not the right time. I am starting my masters october this year and won’t finish till I am 29. But I am worried that if we start ttc at 30 which is the rough plan, have we left it too late? I have always had this irrational feeling (irrational as there are no symptoms!) That I will struggle to get pregnant, and I am getting freaked out as there seem to just be so many people struggling to get pregnant around me! I’m not sure what I expect to get out of this post, but I just am panicking, I have talked to my husband and he keeps saying it will be ok, but I guess I just want an outside opinion.
Post # 2
30 is not too old at all. Fertility doesn’t even start to decline until 35 and even then plenty of women get pregnant past 35 without issue.
My husband and I are planning on TTC next summer, we will both be 30. I’m not worried about it at all.
Post # 3
juneweddingbee : To be fair Fiance and I plan to TTC next year when I’m 30 (and he’s 35). My irrational fear of having a child with a genetic disorder is far outweighing my fear of not falling pregnant at all. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. 30 is not old! And think if the better life you will give your child by waiting until after your schooling is complete.
Post # 4
I’ve definitely had the same thought as you. I think it’s natural to worry about not being able to get pregnant. We spend most of our time younger not getting pregnant. So, it’s a difficult mental shift.
My husband and I will be trying soon (if not this month). I am 30 (almost 31) and he is 38. Personally, I’m not too worried about how long it will take. (My mom said that her family is super fertile, so maybe it’ll be super fast!)
Honestly, I think it’s important to be sure you are ready to have a child (which you are very intuned to) rather than rush because you are unsure of the future state. When you are ready, then do all you can to prepare your body and health. It’s impossible to guess whether or not you will get pregnant right away or it will take a while. That’s just life (and biology).
I think that you are making a good decision to wait until you are ready. Plus, 30 isn’t so bad. 😉
Post # 5
It’s a crapshoot OP. In theory 30 is not too old at all but you just never know until you get started what your TTC journey will look like, so I think it’s good to go into it with an attitude of cautious optimism. I know people in their early 20s who struggled to conceive, and people in their late 30s or early 40s who got pregnant on the first try without issue.
For what it’s worth, I had my first at 33 (dh was 37), and we plan to have at least one more. It took us five cycles to conceive our daughter, which included a miscarriage on cycle two.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL
Have you doctor test your AMH if you’re really worried. Being 30 is really no big deal.
Post # 7
DrAtkins : I was just going to recommend this!
OP – there is no harm in getting a jump on things. Have your doctor run some bloodwork – AMH and FSH. This is will give you a general idea of what you are working with. Do you have a history of PCOS or endometriosis? From your post, it doesnt seem that you have any previously diagnosises that would impede concieveing. Once you are off birth control, start temping. Get a good base of how long your cycles are, and confirm ovulation. Start getting healthy now – regular exercise, a healthy non-inflammatory diet, trim down any extra weight you are carrying, or healthy gain any weight you may need. Honestly though, TTC is a real crapshoot. My mother didn’t conceive me (her first) until 36, and easily. She had 3 children total, into her 40’s with no trouble or loss. I am over a year into treatment, multiple IUIs, IVF and 2 losses – I am 32. My sister-in-law comes from a family of infertility – her mother had multiple losses and struggles getting pregnant, and her sister was only able to have children via IVF. And with only one tube, my SIL can get pregnant if my Brother-In-Law sneezes in the same room. Just trust statistics are on your side – the overwhelming majority of women are able to have babies with no medical assistance at all, well into their 30s.
Post # 8
watch adam ruins everything, having a baby episode. women’s fertility dropping off at 35 is based on puritan data.
we did need ivf to conceive. we both had some issues but had we tried to conceive in our 20s, we would have had the same issues. my RE said, it’s not like one day all your eggs are good and then one day they are bad. it is a steady decline.
Post # 9
I had my first child 2 weeks before my 33rd birthday in January. No problems conceiving at all.
Like others, I know couples in their 20s that had trouble conceiving. I also know couples in their 40s that had no trouble at all.
Unless you have a history of gyne problems, I think you’re worrying unecessarily. If you really think you may have issues, then make an appointment with your GYN.
Post # 10
juneweddingbee : honestly I wouldn’t have any testing done if you are not TTC right now. Many doctors will not order blood tests until you have been TTC for 12 months anyway, and even then it’s possibke everything can be normal and you can be infertile (like us). I would focus on clean living and eating healthy, exercising and then when you are ready – start trying. No one can predict how easy it will be to conceive and MOST people don’t suffer with infertility.
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
As you are in England your GP may not run any tests on NHS if there is no history of gynaecological issues that could make it harder to conceive. They may not refer you unless you are extremely concerned. You can of course get some simple private tests done like the AMH as already suggested.
I’ve seen a few gynaecologists/ fertility specialists and they’ve all laughed at this belief that so many seem to have that you wake up on your 35th birthday and will struggle to conceive. Our issues are not age-related and me and my siblings were conceived easily. All my friends have conceived first or second month of trying. All aged 29 to 39. My sister’s best friend had 8 rounds of IVF in her 20s. You just never know. Hopefully you’ll be in the majority and conceive in under a year. I really really woldn’t worry about TTC at 30.
Post # 12
juneweddingbee : some people need IVF at 24 and others easily get pregnant naturally at 40. It’s all a crapshoot! But don’t stress about it until you’ve been trying and it’s not working. It’s not worth your mental energy.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2018 - England
Thank you all for your advice. I am feeling better about t. It’s just tough when I know there’s no perfect time to start a family But some times are better than others! I guess as you said all I can do is hope for the best.
Post # 14
juneweddingbee : My mom fell pregnant with her first and second child at the ages of 36 and 41, she actively TTC and fell pregnant within 2 months both times. I do understand that there may be added risk to TTC later, but that’s not true for everyone.
I also thought that I might have problems falling pregnant one day as I’ve always had irregular cycles, when we started TTC I had an anovulatory cycle and fell pregnant the next cycle.
You really don’t know until you try, there is honestly no point in stressing now.
Post # 15
juneweddingbee : I think this is a fear lots of women have before they TTC. I know I did! My husband and I waited until I was 34 and you know what? We got pregnant on the first try! I was shocked because, like you, I just had this completely irrational fear that it would never be able to conceive. Whoops!
People think 30 is this big deal and it’s really really not. Chances are, if you had trouble conceiving at 30, you would have had the same trouble at 25.
Also, I would NOT get the testing done now. As some others said, a lot of doctors won’t even order that testing until you’ve been TTC for a little while. My best friend had that testing done and it came back that getting pregnant would probably be very very difficult for her to do naturally. She FREAKED OUT! Got incredibly depressed, thought all hope was lost. And this was before her and her husband even started TTC! I told her to try and relax and maybe at least start trying and see what happens…and they got pregnant within 2 months and have a healthy 13 month old baby girl.