(Closed) Worried cousins will bring kids..

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yikes!  That’s a tough one.  What are your reasons for not inviting them?  Perhaps you could explain to them why — small guest list, adults only, etc.  Are your second cousins and your FH’s around the same age?  Because I think it could get sticky there and people might get some hurt feelings if not explain properly.  But if they’re much younger, I could definitely understand your apprehension.  Good luck!

Post # 4
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Do you have a wedding website that you could direct them too where you could put something about it.  That way they can look at it and you can post it exactly how you want it and not let it sound too harsh.  Or maybe try and find someone who can babysit for them and let them know that childcare would be provided for the children during the ceremony and reception that way they can still bring them along.

Maybe put something like, "Due to limited space we are unable to accomdate the children attending the wedding.  We would still love to see them so please feel free to bring them, (but make sure there is someone to watch them)or(and {persons name} will be able to watch over them during the wedding and reception).

Its really hard to word since I dont know the ages, but I am assuming their will be some young ones in the group.

Post # 5
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think if you indicate on the RSVP cards that they are responding to an adult only wedding they would get the picture.  Like at the bottom of the RSVP cards put Adult Only Reception.

Another idea is to write the names on each rsvp card indicating those are the only people invited. That would be a more subtle way of stating it, but also some people still don’t get it.. 


Post # 6
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009 - Cathedral of the Sacred Heart & The Jefferson Hotel

My advice is to be honest and stick to your decision! We are also doing no kids and some people have been super cool with it, and some not. But as we stand firm to those who are upset, they are backing down and getting over it. Once you crack and let one though, it will get worse so stay strong!!

Good luck!

Post # 7
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i saw an invite on etsy and it had "adult reception only" and it had on the rspv "2 places have been reserved in your name, please confirm if you will be attending"  and then it had " accept  ____ of 2" so there was no misunderstanding that there was ONLY 2 spots for that invite

unless you are providing babysitting, i would not promote the ‘children welcomed to the island’ bit because some guests will use this as an excuse to bring them to the wedding


Post # 8
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with the pp, but i’d look into offering a babysitter for the few hours of wedding time. I mean, you can’t expect your family to bring kids to a destination wedding and enjoy the island, but not have a sitter available for the 6 hours or so. I’d definitely look into spending a few hundred bucks for that. Otherwise you’ll get a lot of people who probably can’t/won’t come.

Post # 9
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

If they’re grown-up second cousins, I wouldn’t worry about it. Definitely still spread the news through word of mouth, and call them up if you notice that they RSVP for more people. But if the kids are old enough that they live on their own, or they’re able to survive for a weekend on their own at home? There shouldn’t be a problem.

Post # 10
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

If they’re children, you may want to call and say that you’re so sorry that you can’t accommodate children who aren’t in the wedding party, but would they like you to try to find a babysitter to watch the kids while they attend the wedding?  You don’t have to justify it to them, but if they ask, just say that you to control costs and be fair to your other guests, you aren’t inviting children. 

We’re having a only neices and nephews reception.  Some of our friends with kids were put out a bit at first, but when I explained that we wanted to keep the guest list very small for budget and practical reasons, they seemed to be more understanding.  I’m thinking of arranging babysitting through a nanny that I know.

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