- 2 years ago
I’ve been lurking forever, considered posting a few times, but now I feel like I really need advice or.. something.
My boyfriend(31) and I(almost 29) have been together 2.5 years, living together 2.5 hours from our families for the past year and a half. We have a puppy, split finances, literally act like a married couple in every sense but the paper. Before anyone thinks I’m rushing pushing the proposal, we’ve literally known each other our entire lives, and both have had crushes on each other since we were in grade school. Our issue was always timing, then him being shy. I always joke it needs to be said in someone’s wedding speech he bought me beer in college because he was trying to win me over even back then.
I’ve been anxious for a proposal for a while (we’ve extensively talked marriage, kids, he’s already said I’m the woman he’s going to marry) but it all really bubbled up on my family vacation this past August. My uncles/cousins/Dad/brothers had a bet going on as to which day he was going to pop the question. My hopes were up so I high once I realized on about day 3 it wasn’t happening I was pretty much just a miserable witch. I finally cracked on the last day and told him everything, and he told me he was already planning and had a date in mind. Ok.
Skip to thanksgiving, we’re home (and I’m getting incredible amounts of pressure and constantly asked why he hasn’t proposed yet) my dad makes a joke that if he isn’t asked for his blessing by Christmas he’s telling him no just for dragging his feet. Well, we went out, I had way too much to drink and told him this, except left out he was joking. He SWORE to me he would talk to him when we were home for Christmas. 2 weeks ago we were out and he accidentally let it slip his mother doesn’t like me, and it might be a hesitation on getting married. I was devastated obviously, but the whole thing actually lead us to go ring shopping (he insisted, I was hesitant because I didn’t want to push him that much) and we ended up picking out my ring. Also, he told me his original proposal plan was to be on my family vacation in August, which would be a distaster since it’s MY families vacation and our mothers hate each other. So I straight up told him he needed to do something else because without a doubt what should be a happy day for us would be ruined.
Well, we’re back in our own home from the holidays, and he didn’t speak to my father. I should mention we literally spent the entire holiday fighting (to the point I threatened to move out) because his mother decided she was going to ruin our holiday. (She’s a nightmare and a half and she hates me but that’s another loooooooong story)
he said he spoke to his mother for a good 3 hours about her behavior and swears it’ll never happen again, and he told her he was going to marry me. Again he swore he wanted to propose he’s just scared. And that he feels all this pressure because Everyone asking why we’re not engaged is freaking him out. And he’s freaked out to talk to my dad. (Which is insane because literally my dad adores him like he’s another son. When the 3 Of us are togethee it’s like I don’t exist)
i guess what I’m asking is, despise what he SAYS, I feel like he’s never going to pull the trigger. We’re going on vacation just the two of us in a month, and again everyone is expecting him to propose and I feel like I’m already disappointed.