Post # 1
Hello all! I’m a bit worried that I have BPD. People in my life have suspected it, but often in the form of an insult so I’m not sure if that’s reliable. I’ve seen many therapists, none of whom mentioned it, but I also know it’s hard to detect. So if any of you have people in your life who have it…what do you think? Yes, I know nobody here is a doctor 😉
Signs that I might:
1.) I have really varying self esteem- sometimes i feel great about myself and sometimes the opposite.
2.) I take things personally, and often assume poeple are mad at me or talking about me when they’re not (could also be carryover from really bad bullying as a teenager- I’ve had this fear of people excluding me ever since then)
3.) I’m really afraid of being alone, and I have been dramatic in the past in order to avoid abandonment (but not as an adult, mostly as a teenager)
4.) I sometimes have really intense anger over stupid little things- I’ve cried over planes being delayed and/or poor customer service
5.) I find myself distancing from friends often, I have only one friend I’ve known for longer than 2 yrs- the rest are recent
Signs that I don’t:
1.) I’m not that impulsive and I don’t do anything self destructive
2.) My anger is rarely aimed at people in my life, normally just annoying situations
3.) I have great relationships in my life that have been pretty stable for many years
4.) I have OCD/anxiety so some of my panicked behavior could be due to that.
Post # 3
A huge part of BPD is an inability to recognize ones symptomology as dysfunctional. Most borderlincandor accept responsibility for their actions or pagreen relationships dereriorating. I had a friend whsevere super borderline and nothing your describing screams borderline at me 🙂
Post # 4
I wouldn’t jump to BPD, though #3 would be one sign. But that alone would not make for a diagnosis. I think the fact you do not seem to have trouble maintaining relationships is another sign you may not have BPD. I think #1,2,4,and 5 can all be attributed to other things. For example, I can attribute #2 to social phobia and #4 to general anxiety.
I think your best bet is to talk about it with a mental health professional. Symptoms/signs of 1 diagnosis often overlap with others. I used to work on BPD research studies, but it’s been about 7 years since I’ve been in the field so I cannot remember all the DSM criteria for BPD.
Post # 5
I don’t know if you have it or not, but it sounds like some of your behaviors are causing you problems in your personal life. You should see a mental health professional, and shop around for a good one, specifically look for someone who will focus on teaching you coping mechanisms instead of just prescribing you a pill. A good mental health professional will teach you how to cope with these issues, and they’ll also give you a diagnosis which may help you look into ways you can help yourself.
Post # 6
@MrsWBS: Interesting. Yeah, it’s not clear if that’s a disorder on its own, or if it’s just an effect from things that have happened to me in the past, like my parents’ divorce etc. Thanks for the input!
Post # 7
This is what I found through the latest (I think) DSM. If you really think you have a problem though, bpd can be treated with different therapies and such. I really think you should look into a doctor in your area, in my experience (I have been in therapy for a few years now) psychologists (the ones who can’t write prescriptions) tend to be better with trying talking therapy and things first before sending you to someone who can prescribe drugs. Psychiatrists (those who do write prescriptions) tend to prescribe more and more to see what combo of drugs works. I’m not a fan of taking things but thats just me.
Post # 8
@shootznladrz89: I took a look at that- it seems like I may have 3-4 of them, but I’m not sure if I’m exaggerating or not lol
Post # 9
The thing with most mental disorders is that the person suffering from it doesn’t realize that they are. There’s nothing that jumps out as being particularly unusual or different than average.
1. Everyone has varying self esteem. Anyone who says they always feel fantastic about themselves is lying to you. And even people who have poor self esteem still have times where they feel good about themselves.
2. Lots of people take things personally. Look around on the bee for examples. “This one person RSVP’d no – they must HATE ME”. You know you’re prone to it, and you recognize the behavior when it’s happening, so it’s something you can easily work on with a therapist.
3. Most people are afraid of being alone on some level. Ask any divorcee in their 40s what he or she’s most afraid of. Being forever alone is up there on the top 5 for the majority of people. You had teenage drama. So did every other teenage female. You grew out of it. Again, you recognize the behavior, so you can choose how you react to it.
4. We all get irrational moments. I just had a micro-meltdown because I forgot the exact date of my divorce, and I couldn’t find the paperwork. You can’t get the replacement paperwork without the date, and I didn’t know the date without the paperwork. Yet again, you recognize that you’re being irrational at times. This is where coping skills come in handy.
5. Distancing and changing friends is natural. We’re all very different people than we were as teenagers, as young 20somethings, etc. As we change, and as our values change, our friends change. When I was 18, I wanted friends that could keep up with me when I partied all night. Now I want friends who are happy to go for a drink with me, but understand that I have to work in the AM.
I’m not saying that your behaviors aren’t causing you problems, if you’re concerned enough to post about it, they probably are. But you’re aware of what you’re doing, which means you’re capable of taking steps to correct the behavior. Most of those concerns are addressed by coping mechanisms. Learning to take a breath and step back from a frustrating situation. Learning to say to yourself when a coworker brings up a different point, “This is not a personal attack. She is allowed to disagree with me without hating me as a person.” All these are things that a therapist can help you with. It’s not all about medications. Those tools to help you get through the daily pressures are incredibly valuable.
Post # 10
I’m a psychotherapist. The fact that you sometimes behave in ways that a borderline might does not make you borderline. One might say that your personality lies on the spectrum of BPD, but not to the point of severe pathology. We are all capable of displaying these types of primitive behaviors when certain fears or anxieties that lie deep beneath the surface are activated. That you are aware of your patterns and behaviors bodes well for you. Most borderlines do not recognize that their behavior is irrational. Yes, some of the behaviors that you mentioned are questionable, but most borderlines rage/get angry at the people closest to them – you said you don’t. I couldn’t diagnose you without knowing a lot more about you. Regardless, however, it sounds like you could benefit from therapy.
Post # 11
@MariContrary: My behaviors aren’t totally causing problems, I’m mostly just worried that they’re things I won’t grow out of. For the most part, I’d say I’m pretty happy!
Post # 12
@shrinkgirl: Thanks, that’s super helpful! i did not expect to see an actual psychologist on this board, so that’s a lovely surprise!