(Closed) Worried I have fertility issues

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 31
Member
1939 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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kes18 :  so true! They say full recovery time before trying to have another baby is 18 months from delivery to TTC again. 

Post # 32
Member
1282 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Hi. I know the internet can be a hard place so don’t feel bad that you got worried and asked a question to get reassurance.  

I sympathise because I’m also just 2 cycles into TTC and feel it will never happen. Fertility can seem so random and unknown.

I’ve found the advice here really helpful and hope you do too. The statistics are still a bit confusing. If a certain number of women get pregnant after x months, does that mean women who had sex at all the ideal times or just all the women who weren’t using contraception and just taking their chances?. It can be unclear so I understand why you also worry. 

I’m sure it must be stressful if all your friends have kids on the way as you’ll feel you’re falling behind, but 85% of my friends and cousins had ALL their children at 30 or older. It’s really normal. 

I’m just 41 and only just TTC and I’m still hopeful. Life isn’t always run on a perfect timetable. Try not to worry about it. Unlike me in my ridiculous situation,  you almost certainly don’t need to. 

Why do you want 3 children before 30? What is it about 30 that you think matters so much? Just interested. 

Good luck! Maybe your day will come soon. 

Post # 34
Member
1958 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

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katiecat89 :  Please try not to worry.  Although I know that’s easier said than done.  You are young and you won’t be stepping off the infertile cliff when you turn 30.  Ignore the pressures of your family.  If you let that get to you, it will make things so much worse.

 

Post # 35
Member
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

When you hit 30 you don’t magically become infertile. Age doesn’t factor in really – I’m 30 and it took us 3 months to get pregnant. My other friend is 32 and it took them 2 months! I had a cousins who was 26 and it took them two years. I’m actually the youngest in my circle to get pregnant. Most waited till they were 32/33 before even considering TCC. It can go either way regardless of age. Stressing out won’t help – it will delay periods and screw up your cycles. 

Post # 36
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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bibber :  
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Soton85 :  Thanks for linking, ladies! 

Post # 37
Member
2922 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Your fertility doesn’t just suddenly decline the day you turn 30, these numbers are thrown out all the time to scare women. It’s constantly on a slow decline, but the reality is there is little difference between 27 and 30. I got pregnant at 33 and my cycles have only ever been regular since I turned 30, so for me this is the most fertile time of my adult life. Everyone is different.

Post # 38
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee

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katiecat89 :  You’re experiencing a really awesome life lesson right now that will prepare you for having kids….things don’t always go according to your schedule!!

3 by 30 looks great on paper. Whelp, throw that paper out. You can’t get so worked up by an arbritary plan you have in your head.

And start learning quick how to not let others bother you…especially around family pressures to get married, have kids…next thing will be how you raise the kids, let them babysit….it’s always something. You need to find a way to not be stressed out by outside pressure.

Post # 39
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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leonatigra :  to clarify, for the statistics I posted (just in case you were wondering): 

The probability statistics are for women with normal reproductive function. The numbers represent the “best case” scenario for the probability of pregnancy if you are actively trying to conceive naturally (without any medical intervention).

So those figures are for couples actively trying naturally — not couples who are NTNP.

 

Post # 40
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I second what everyone is saying. Stressing out won’t make things any better. I understand how you feel. We’re raised to think we can get pregnant immediately by tv and adults in our life, but that is rare. Remember that the people you see on social media may have been trying for a long time to get pregnant too. I know I was sad when I didn’t get pregnant on my first cycle. It’s an exciting to start a family and when you’re ready to do so you want it to start right away. Btw, my husband and I are healthy 27 year olds and I got pregnant on our forth cycle. 

Post # 43
Member
2797 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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katiecat89 :  that is a lot of pressure to put on yourself. Chances are you are very much able to have children. Besides, if you do have trouble conceiving it might not necessarily be your “fault”-it is just as often the men that have an issue. But like I said, chances are you have nothing to worry about and you will be pregnant within 6 months. As for the cysts, do you know that they negatively impact fertility? Have you voiced your concerns to a doctor?

Post # 44
Member
2448 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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katiecat89 :  Well if you can take some fertility drugs, maybe you can conceive triplets and finish in one shot.

Post # 45
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

As others have said, you need to calm down. I’m 39 and got pregnant on my first cycle. I fully expected it to take a year. So getting older doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t conceive. 

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