(Closed) Worried I won't enjoy my wedding day – normal feeling?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2956 posts
Sugar bee

I had similar concerns – not a fan of being the center of attention, worried about all the details, concerned that people traveled so far and would not have fun, having to hug every guest (barf), etc. etc. etc. I am happy to tell you that my concerns did not come to fruition on the actual day. I am not sure if it is because none of the things I worried about happened, or if it is because they happened, but I did not notice. I did tell a trusted bridesmaid to keep a certain person out of my hair if I seemed annoyed. We also did a first look which was great. My husband and I also got on the same page weeks before the wedding about these concerns.

Post # 3
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee

I’m the same as the PP, I had a multitude of concerns regarding my wedding: having a panic attack in the church (which is a real issue for me), hating everyone staring at me, people not having fun, not being able to speak to everyone…etc

However I can report that none of these things were an issue on the day, the buzz you get from the day overrides any concerns you may have had previously. I’m a real worrier yet was so busy having fun on the day I didn’t even come close to feeling anxious. It still surprises me now but it’s true and I’m confident you will be the same.

Post # 4
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

It’s comforting to know I am not the only soon to be bride with these same feelings. 

Post # 5
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
summerbride2016:  I’m also getting married at the end of May and feel similarly… between the family drama and the stress of planning and working full time, I’m also worried I won’t get to fully enjoy it.  Planning has been a really tough process and I honestly never want to do it again (and I normally LOVE to plan things and am very type A).  It’s been one ball of stress after another and has been really hard to plan.  I also have been utterly failing at my wedding diet until now (the scale finally started budging these past couple of days).  

I’m just so happy it is almost time for the wedding and that I can finally be done with the planning and be married!  Wedding planning itself feels like a rite of passage.

I’m really hoping that by the time the wedding comes, I’ll be in a good state of mind and actually enjoy it, regardless of what happens.  I am hoping the day of coordinators and my bridesmaids will work behind the scenes to ensure nothing goes wrong and that if it does, I am not made aware of it.  

I’m planning to finish all the planning this and next weekend so that by the time May rolls around, I can be done with it and just relax for the last 2-3 weeks.  

Good luck, bee!  

Post # 6
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee

This is part of why I’m eloping. 

Post # 7
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I am 100% sure I won’t enjoy our wedding day. We’re not having a coordinator or DOC or whatever it is people have to ensure things run smoothly. No DJ to guide the reception along. I’m pretty sure things will go wrong, people will hate that there’s no dance floor (this is my fault due to my inability to plan an event properly), and that I’ll look out and see a sea of bored faces as our guests try to figure out how they can duck out early since the reception sucks. That plus the fact that my mom brought up her opinion that black decor will make our guests think they’re at a funeral gives me zero hope that things will be good. Half of our decor is black and white, black and silver, or just plain black! I swapped out the black table runners for silver ones but when I looked at our box of decor I realized that I picked out a crap ton of black stuff. She will be horrified and I imagine she’ll complain about it for the next 20 years. Arrgh! Is this dreaded wedding over yet?!

 

Post # 8
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I feel you. I am getting married in like 4 months and I am starting to develop the same concerns.

Post # 9
Member
381 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
summerbride2016:  I’m not in the exact situation, but somewhat similar and can relate.  I am actually in a huge fight with my parents and sibling due to some wedding/family/communication issues.  I am not even enjoying the wedding planning since I am expierencing so much anxiety.  

Post # 10
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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CakeSniffer:  Is it too late to get a DOC? I’m sure that would help a lot!

Post # 11
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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luvely:  Our budget is so laughably small that we can’t justify it. Plus there’s nothing to coordinate. No dancing, no speeches, no wedding party, etc. World’s. Lamest. Wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

Add a touch of color like blush pink canfdles or balloons or tulle. All this is cheap and can liven up the place. You can guide the event along. If there is no dj, then have your groom stand up and make a toast to you to kick off the celebration.

Post # 13
Member
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If you worry you won’t enjoy it…you won’t enjoy it.  Seriously.  Once the day comes there is nothing you can do but sit back and let things happen as they happen.  I had a lot of wedding planning stress too that did not originate from me, but family.  Family members were being so ridiculous about wedding crap that I didn’t care about.  One person in particular was really bad about it.  The day of they were really crazy and to be honest I let a “bridezilla” moment slip (totally NOT me, but it had to be done).  I basically said this was a day that I needed people to let things go and not stress because there wasn’t anything we could do about it at that point.  It worked.  I had the level head but other people were being insane about stuff that didn’t matter, so I put my foot down.

Plus, wine.  Lots of wine.

Post # 14
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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CakeSniffer:  As long as people are sitting with their loved ones and there’s some good food 😉 I don’t think it should be too bad.

I second having someone give a toast, and definitely try to get some good music, if not a good DJ think of a playlist, I’m sure you could find some online as well to give you an idea.

Maybe find little cute books from etsy or you could probaby print them out yourself for interactive questions on each table, like “what should we name our child”, “what should be our first pet,” ect.

View original reply
summerbride2016: As for not being able to focus on your SO, why not do a first look to get some downtime, and have the bridal suite be private since you will be dressing/undressing. Maybe just have a sign having saying “private” and if someone tries to pop in say you want to surprise everyone down the aisle?

 

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