(Closed) Worried I'll accidentally ruin his surprise

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
9524 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It’s hard! Relax. I wish I could offer better words. I anticipated every casual restuarant and movie night, every fancy dinner, even a small vacation, and nothin. He totally surprised me with a very unique proposal surrounded by friends. It’s hard, trust me. Trust your man and stop over thinking it. It is soooo but completely worth it.

Post # 3
181 posts
Blushing bee

Agree with PP. Just relax and enjoy it! Easier said than done, I know. I’m waiting for a proposal too, and SO uncharacteristically planned a hiking trip today *fingers crossed*!

Post # 5
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I was also overthinking things because I knew it was coming, but I was still totally surprised in the moment. We travel a lot, so I just tried to think of the reasons he wouldn’t propose on each trip to try to calm my anticipation. He ended up completely surprising me with a perfect proposal at home.

I have a friend whose now-husband walked around with the ring for three weeks before he was able to actually propose! He would be planning it and then she would do something to change the plans ever so slightly. We all laugh about it now, so even if it doesn’t go perfectly according to plan, it can still be perfect, and you’ll probably end up with a good story!

Post # 6
3535 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

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RobbieAndJuliahaha:  u need to relax!  I was getting regular manicures for MONTHS before my bf proposed. One weekend I was too busy to go… Guess when he proposed?  I’m not one to micromanage my wedding or freak out if something goes wrong, but my nails being grown out was SO outshined by the fact that he finally proposed and we were engaged (And I ended up just makin time for a mani that week). 

Dont put so much pressure on urself for it to be “perfect”, and even if u make him have to change his plans, it will be ok!  I promise! 

Post # 7
234 posts
Helper bee

Hehe, you’re really cute to be worrying about this! I’m guessing if he’s planning something big like a weekend getaway, he’ll tell you in advance so that you can be sure to be free. Same with the other scenarios you mentioned – he’ll probably just say “I was actually hoping to spend the evening with you”, or something, and then if you can you can tell your boss you can’t work, not go to the gym, etc. I think it’s awesome how excited you are – enjoy the anticipation and the proposal when it comes πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Post # 8
3109 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I’m worried about ruining it too honestly, only because I know my SO is so into surprises. I accidentally saw one of my Christmas gifts and he was so upset. I’m just worried I’ll somehow figure it out or I’ll mess up his plans some how. I just want it to be as perfect for him as I know it will be for me no matter how he does it.

Post # 9
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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RobbieAndJuliahaha:  Don’t worry – if you do end up accidentally spoiling the surprise, he will re-schedule / plan something else πŸ™‚ And he won’t blame you at all. 

I always remember a funny story of ours – I bought my SO a really cool Birthday present that I was super excited about (it was a bag he had wanted for ages). I went shopping with him and we happened to walk past a shop that had that bag in the window. I tried to divert his attention, but he was like ”Hey, cool, they have that bag.. ” and he walked in and bought it… the Day before his Birthday πŸ˜€ I was so pissed. But we had such a good laugh about it afterwards. 

Don’t worry πŸ™‚ Your proposal will be special and magical whenever it happens. Just be yourself and do your thing and let your guy take care of the surprise.

Post # 11
19 posts

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RobbieAndJuliahaha:  I know the feeling exactly! I completely ruined my husband’s proposal (without realising). Similarly, I suspected it was coming up because we had been together for 6 years, were living together and had talked about getting married. One evening after work, (I should preface this by saying he was acting strangely before this particular evening – nothing specific just not his usual self) I noticed that my car was not parked in its usual space – and he was not home yet. When he came home, I asked why he had taken my car and not his own (his car had mechanical problems). Then I asked what he was doing out in my car; what could have been important enough for him to leave work early to come home and pick up my car to go and do whatever he was doing? (As a side note, I was so angry that he was being evasive about what he was up to that it actually didn’t cross my mind that it could be engagement related). Anyway, my intensive questioning made him crack – he was visiting the jeweller to look at the initial designs for my engagement ring and he had been behaving strangely in the lead up because he was so worried about getting the design right! I felt SO SO bad at the time. BUT it was such a raw emotional moment for the both of us. I could see how important it was to him that he put 100% effort into proposing and how upset he was to have been “caught out”. In the end, it really didn’t matter that I had ruined the surprise. What really mattered was that we both wanted to get married and that the moment was a very emotionally honest moment for the both of us.

On a funnier note, a friend of mine ruined her proposal in the (now) funniest of ways. Both cyclists, her husband decided to propose at a beautiful look out after a morning ride together. Unfortunately, the look out was high up on a hill and the ride was a bit too much for her. He got down on one knee to propose and she threw up all over his shoes (from the exhaustion of the ride, not from the shock of the proposal πŸ˜‰ hehe).

Post # 12
1054 posts
Bumble bee

If you spoil it a little then that’s what makes for the best stories. Don’t worry about it! My fiancé and I are long distance and he drove up to surprise me and propose. He told me that we were going to facetime at 10, and first I said no, I had a long day at work. He finally convinced me and at 10:15 when he hadnt called I said “if you don’t call me in 5 minutes I’m going to bed.” Haha!

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