- 6 years ago
Hi everyone, new here! I’ll try to keep it short 🙂
When I was 18, I went on vacation to Australia and ended up meeting the love of my life. Against the advisement of everyone, we started a long distance relationship. For the past 5 years, we’ve been flying back and forth between the US & Australia, seeing each other about 3-4 times per year, with visits lasting anywhere from 1 week to 2 months at a time.
I am now 23 years old and my partner is older (28). He has a stable career and I have recently finished University, although I’ve yet to establish my own career. Anyway, he has been hinting that he wants to propose this year and I am over the moon excited about it, but I am fearful that my family will disapprove for the following reasons:
1. My age (23 at engagement, and 24/25 at time of wedding)
2. I never really dated anybody before him
3. I have not lived on my own yet, and as I said, I am not settled in a career yet.
4. Because of the distance, my family isn’t as close to him as I would like
However, I love this man and I know he is the one I want to be with. Over the past five years, we have tried to cultivate a relationship between him and my family – they are all very warm toward him and like him, but of course because of the distance, they do not know him as well as I would prefer. I get along very well with his family and his mother has been hinting for about 2 years that she thinks we should be married. I am not at all worried about his family’s reaction, just my own sadly!
The international LDR has caused a lot of heartache, we have both been committed and faithful and we have made it work for 5 years, throughout college and long separations, and I feel we deserve a bit of happiness now. I thought if we get engaged at the end of this year, and schedule a wedding for 2014, then I’d have the next year to settle myself in a job, save up for the wedding, perhaps prove I’m more adult than my family thinks. I realize worrying about their opinion is juvenile, but I am very close with my family and their support means the world to me.
I guess my questions are…am I crazy for wanting this? And how can I speak about it with my family? I want my engagement to be a happy, exciting time, but I am so worried that I’ll be met with lectures and disappointment.
I want us to finally start our life together, that’s all. We’ve spent as much time together as possible thus far, but because of immigration issues, living in the same country before marriage is just not a possibility.
I just feel so sad 🙁