(Closed) Worried my friends may get too drunk at my wedding…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Perhaps you don’t have an open bar? 

Post # 4
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would say do beer and wine only, or do an open bar for cocktail hour only, so there’s not so much free flowing booze.


Post # 6
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@kateisstoned:  I would say something like, “since the family’s on both sides don’t drink much we have decided to go to XXX for the after party. That way no one will get offended at the wedding.” Then just tell all the partiers to go to XXX bar/restaraunt after the reception for the after party.

Post # 7
1781 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d tell the friends that just as a heads up, the fiance’s family is ultra conservative, so you’d appreciate if they kept the drinking to a reasonable level, to keep the families happy.  I’d also tell the venue who they are, so the bartender can either water down their drinks or cut them off.  Most venues are used to handling these situations.

Post # 8
6386 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@kateisstoned:  How about something like, “MOH, if you pee on yourself at my wedding, I’m going to take pictures of it and post it all over facebook.”  LOL 

Honestly, I’m not sure you can really do anything about it if your guests want to get trashed at an open bar.  You could always do drink tickets, or limit the bar to beer and wine only, but other than a dry wedding, there is no way to ensure sober guests.


Post # 10
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

From a “traditional” Etiquette point of view… you would say nothing… as doing so would embarass people.

That said…

If one of the key partiers is your Maid/Matron of Honor… I assume then that you guys are close.  So you could perhaps broach the topic in a half-hearted joking kind of way…

BUT there is nothing to say she’s gonna heed your advice.

— — —
Lol, my usual advice on this topic would be IF it is a potential problem in your life and makes you uncomfortable socially (be around your friends) … then it typically means you are hanging with the wrong crowd. 

Something to think about.

PS… Eeew on the vomit comment… I’d certainly be looking for a classier bunch of friends… or in the very least folks who can hold their liquor better (know when to stop)


Post # 11
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

then find that girl a NURSE …. does she have a BF? 

Post # 12
3968 posts
Honey bee

You don’t say anything.  You talk to your bartender(s) and you voice your concern.  An experienced bartender should know how to water down drinks and/or cut people off when they’ve had too much.

I worried about this too – but people behaved.  I made sure there was plenty of food at the cocktail hour and at dinner – so people weren’t drinking on an empty stomach.

We also weren’t allowed to do shots at our venue – and I think that helped greatly.

Post # 13
1441 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t know if you’re planning on getting ready champagne,mimosas etc, but eliminating them, or only having minimal pre-function alcohol may mean that everyone is starting from a sober level, rather than starting with light buzz.

Post # 14
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you need to trust that they’ll act appropriately and say nothing. There’s no right way to bring this up to adults over the age of 21.  Make sure you let your bartneders know they need to be responsible about not over-serving guests.  We’ve got some serious drinkers amongst our friends and family and there were no issues despite having an open bar and an awesome martini ice luge!

Post # 15
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree with not having an open bar.  Also, I have seen open bars, but they only serve wine and beer and most importantly, no shots.

Post # 16
8066 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would maybe just talk to her and inform her of the families and ask if she can keep it under control a little better than normal.  And then have someone tell the bartender beforehand so he can watch her better and water down her drinks if need be.

You can’t control her or stop her from getting drunk.  People who want to do that will do it regardless.  Bar or no bar.

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