Post # 1
My boyfriend and I bought my engagement ring months ago, back in August. He said it would happen within 2019, and as time has gone by I’ve gotten the feeling that he plans to do it over our holiday travel so that I can celebrate with my family (they live across the country and we plan to spend Christmas with them).
Cut to last week, I was stupid while evacuating one of the fires here in CA and fractured my foot. Luckily it’s healing well and I should be out of a walking boot by the time we’d planned to fly. However, this week I was diagnosed with a large blood clot in my leg as a complication from the foot fracture, and may not be cleared to fly now. Aside from the fear that comes with this diagnosis, I’m also devastated that this could ruin his plans to propose. He’s been planning with his brother for months and I hate that my stupidity during the fires has led to all this and could taint what should be one of the happiest days of our relationship.
I’m not sure what I’m looking for, I guess I just needed a place to vent. If any of you have had a proposal go wrong and everything turned out fine that might help me feel better. If you made it to the end of this post, thanks for listening <3
Post # 2
Bummer! Just focus on getting healthy. The proposal will come soon enough 🙂
Post # 3
Why would it taint the happiest day of your relationship though?
Post # 4
Do you really think your fi would withhold the ring due to your injury having ‘ruined his plans’ in some way? I hope not !!
You are very self blaming in your post OP, (‘tainting ‘ wtf!) l hope he is not blaming you too. Frankly, l’d like to hear he just proposed and gave you the ring rather than all this ‘planning’ I never understand it , apart from thinking about the words and the place, what is this elaborate planning some men seem to need .
Hope you get better soon OP And get your ring soon too.
Post # 5
newbee5 : Girl I’m sorry that sucks! I know it’s super last minute but could your family fly to come see you guys instead? I’m in the medical field so I can tell you that nothing is worth risking a flight with a blood clot, I’m sure you know that, but I’d just like to reiterate it since I know you’re disappointed!
Are YOU set on celebrating with your family? If not, I’d tell your boyfriend that while it’d be great to celebrate an engagement with your family, you can always celebrate later, and it’s more important that you get engaged to him and start planning your life together!
Post # 6
Only two things can really taint a proposal: one that doesn’t happen and one that ends in the wrong answer.
I assume you are with someone who is not so superficial that he would delay a milestone because your misfortune would ruin the photo op; and I assume your answer to the proposal would be ‘yes’. There you go. Problem solved.
Enjoy your engagement. Glad you got out of harm’s way. Get well soon!
Post # 7
zzar45 : I guess you’re right, it wouldn’t taint it. Whenever it happens it’ll still be exciting and happy. I’m just having a bit of a pity party, I’ve gotten a lot of bad news in the span of a week and it’s just been a lot.
elderbee : He has no idea I feel this way, and has never said anything to ever hint that he’s disappointed about my injury in regards to his plans. He’s been incredible and has been taking care of me and supporting me while I go from doctor to doctor. I don’t think he would withhold the ring because of my injury, but I know that he really wants to create a special moment and memory for us and, frankly, I’d understand not wanting to propose while I’m hobbling around and trying to breathe through pain.
futuremrsmcl : My family could potentially fly out–they’re not in the best financial place so I’m not sure if it would be feasible for them. I was set on celebrating with my family, which I told him, but of course I’m not going to risk my health flying if my hematologist doesn’t clear me for it. I don’t think he wants to sit on the ring for much longer, so I hope he does it once my pain goes down regardless of where we are.
Post # 8
newbee5 : my husband proposed in his underwear, which I don’t think either of us planned on happening but it was still an amazing day. Stuff goes wrong all the time and life is just about adapting to that and carrying on anyway. You evacuate people from the wildfires, surely you know life is all about things not going to plan? The main thing is to focus on getting better. The proposal will still be amazing, even if not what you planned.
Post # 9
I am glad to hear that he is kinder to you than you are to yourself!. I think he may forego his plans and just propose right now, that would be lovely.
Post # 10
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
newbee5 : Sorry about your foot & diagnosis OP! I’m sure your injury wont derail everything entirely. It may require a change of plans but I’m sure it’ll be a beautiful moment anyways. I had a really bad stomach ache the night my Fiance proposed. I was running to the bathroom every half hour all throughout a lovely dinner he made for me haha. There was romantic music playing and candles everythwere and I was disappearing into the bathroom for 20 mins at a time. Im sure it made him extra nervous since it gave him a lot of extra time by himself to think lol. But we still had our beautiful moment and I actually kind of forget that I spent a majority of that night in the bathroom lol. Be kind to yourself! Wishing you a speedy recovery!
Post # 11
I got SUPER sick with a terrible head cold the day of my proposal. We went away for the weekend and all I wanted to do was sleep. I was dosed up on cold meds day and night. I napped before dinner instead of our planned activity. My husband was super patient and understanding which only reassured me he was the right one. He didnt resent me for “ruining” that day. He just loved me and let me rest and still made it special for me.
Also I had a blood clot in a PICC (central line going straight to your heart) and the treatment was just 6 months of blood thinners. No big deal as long as they are managed.
Congrats on your impending proposal!
Post # 12
Oh, Bee. I am so sorry you went through the fires and the scare of a blood clot along with your injury.
A proposal today, tomorrow, next month, in three months, does it truly matter? What you have is so precious—a partner who you know will be there for you all the way, whatever curve balls life hurls at you. Celebrate that for now.
Trust him to know when it’s proposal time. He sounds like a pretty good egg.
Post # 13
mg8301 : Thank you for sharing your proposal and blood clot stories! I’m glad to hear everything went okay for you (on both)–I’m on blood thinners but still at risk of developing a pulmonary embolism, which to be honest is pretty scary. But hoping it doesn’t happen to me.
Post # 14
I’m just glad to hear your safe from the fire.
Post # 15
If it makes you feel any better, I “ruined” our proposal by not realizing where the conversation we were in the middle of was going and telling him to wait there because I wanted to continue this conversation but needed to take a shit … Sooooo… Yeahhhhh… Lol
Sucks you broke your foot, but I don’t see why that would take away from any of the joy of the occasion. Even if it means he has to adjust his plans, the end result is still the same – you’re getting engaged and gonna get married.