(Closed) Worried no one will want to be a bridesmaid :(

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@TrousseauHorse:  Maybe don’t have any? I’ve seen this more and more lately. Sounds like your friends are very far away and have busy lives… I don’t know. Do you have one person who could be a MOH? Just a thought!

(this is coming from someone who hands down wishes she had done this. I have 7 BMs and it’s not a good idea…)

Post # 4
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

First off, major hugs from another DC-area bride! 

My nearest bridesmaid lives in Baltimore, and my Maid/Matron of Honor is in NYC. The others are in Pennsylvania and Ohio. I haven’t lived near any of them in years, but had some seriously excited responses once I asked. I would ask who you want and see how THEY feel and then plot your next move. You might be surprised by people’s responses. Just be honest with them that you want them there. 

Post # 5
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@TrousseauHorse:  I soooo strongly believe and I’m sure other bees will agree, if the choice isn’t super clear, then hold off. It’s easy to wait to ask people (I waited about 6 months after getting engaged) but it is really hard to ask people to step down.

If everybody is far away and it might make things difficult, maybe ask them to be a “non-bridesmaid”? I originally wanted to do this, but thought about it for a long time (6 months) and decided I wanted a bridal party. 🙂


Post # 6
2951 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

TBH I wouldn’t have any bridesmaids then. I think it will probably save you the stress especially since you aren’t really close to any of them anyway.

Post # 7
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@TrousseauHorse:  If it is that much of a concern, maybe you could just have them attend the wedding as guests. Plenty of people don’t have bridal parties nowadays and there is no reason that you “must” do this, especially if it is a source of stress.

If they are close friends, then they will say because they want to. I don’t think there is a way to convince them, and I’m not sure it’s right to try and force people into doing something they aren’t keen on doing.

You hit the nail right on the head when you mentioned age. I am too old to be in anyone’s wedding – I have my own priorities, my own family, and my own goals. That is what my money goes towards. I can’t imagine I would say “yes” to anyone.

Post # 9
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Just tell them that you would love for them to stand up there with you and that you will be super aware of their budgets when picking out dresses and helping them with costs in anyway.  Also tell them that even though you would love for them to stand up with you that you understand if they are unable to do it because of distance or money.  Just explain that you don’t expect much from them, just support 🙂  I’m sure they will be happy to stand up with you on your wedding day.

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