(Closed) Worried on how to handle this

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

oh gee… i dont know…

Truth comes out eventually.

are you sure there’s NO WAY he will EVER know?

if the roles were reversed, would you like to know?

Post # 4
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Honestly, I think it’s great that you can reflect on the experience, see why it happened, and see what was wrong about it, and try to make amends. Ultimately, only you can know whether or not to tell him, and I think that’s going to take a lot of soul searching too. It sounds as though you have both had a few issues in the relationship so, just from what you’ve said, I would advocate for you telling him and aiming for as much honesty as possible in your relationship.

Post # 5
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Highschoolsweeties8:  Wait, so BOTH of you have cheated before?

 

This doesn’t sound like a solid relationship that is ready for the next step imo. A marriage built on lies and deception is just set up for failure.

Post # 6
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@nursemel:  +1

 

Post # 7
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

@Highschoolsweeties8:  In my previous relationship, my ex emotionally cheated on me repeatedly and after many years and loads of crap, one day I had a few drinks with a friend and we kissed. In my book that is also cheating and I mostly did it to get back at my ex. I had no intention of hiding it – in fact, if I could I would have rubbed it on his face with added embellishments just to make him suffer. Still, the incident was a rude wake up call for me. The relationship had degenerated me to that abominable level. It was time to pack up and leave.

Cheating is never healthy for any relationship, and In My Humble Opinion once the partners cross that line it becomes really difficult for them to continue as a normal couple. I don’t know if revenge was your motive for cheating or there was some other cause, but there definitely was a reason. Similarly, there has to be a reason for his lying and cheating as well. I think the two of you should address these issues and try to work on them through open conversation. Otherwise you could end up in a situation where you will resent yourself for the rest of your life.  

Post # 8
Member
7445 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Seeing that you have both cheated on each other, I don’t think your relationship has a leg to stand on. I just don’t see how there could be any trust between the two of you, and you can’t have a marriage without trust. It sounds like you both have some growing up to do.

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