- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I’ve written in the past on the boards about my family situation (thankfully the issue with my parents is being worked out, though I dont think I ever will forgive my dad for all the hurt he has caused our family).
Now the issue I have is with my sister S. She and I are incredibly close, or at least we used to be. Recent issues with our parents have driven a wedge between us. I think what my father did was unforgivable (he abused my mum for the first time in 7 years of peace in the family) and she wants to excuse his behaviour. She blames our mum partially, while I have a very hard time thinking this way, due to the fact that I have had experience and training with victims of DV.
The other issue is our other sister; like the situation with our father, my sister S wants to forgive the violent behaviour on the part of both my father and my other sister. They have both harmed our family in deep rooted ways. My other sister recently had an alteration with my parents and my mum, and I wrote to my sister S stating that her welcoming stance is enabling my other sister’s behaviour- she wants our other sister to be welcome in a home she herself no longer lives in, and I personally believe she doesnt understand how dire the situation with my other sister is. I wrote about this to her on facebook and have spoken with her about it. Both times she swore at me and told me to *bleep* off. Now, Im usually really patient with S, but she really crossed a line this last time.
Today is S’s birthday. My mother wants us to put our differences behind us and make up. Frankly, with S’s excuses for both our father and other sister, and how she is enabling both of them through her behaviour…I just cant do it and be genuine. Not to mention she swears at me everytime I try to be firm but civil with her about my opinion. Did I mention both my sisters are older than me? Its really quite frustrating to be honest
The truth is, deep down, Im a mixture of sadness and anger at the moment. I have something so wonderful that might be happening very soon this year (I have met the man I want to marry, and he is planning on proposing soon). I have no idea how my family will react to this (they have met him, his family, and it went really well but I believe the family drama will keep them from being happy for me). I want to share this with my family, to share this happy moment in my life- Im graduating from Uni soon, have high hopes for Grad school and Law school- and they dont seem like they care. In fact they tell me its wrong that Im happy or that I am in the wrong to try to be honest with them in this situation. Deep down, I feel like if I was to get proposed to, I wouldnt want to call my family- it would just somehow be drama to them, not something to be happy about.
As you can see, I need advice. Im hoping you guys can be frank with me; Am I out of line? Should I be the bigger person- God knows I usually try to be- but how much is enough you know? Not to mention I feel like it would be lying somehow (being honest is really important to me)
Thank you for reading! Im sorry its so long