(Closed) Worried that a friend expects to be MOH, but I already chose someone else…

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3371 posts
Sugar bee

@kb7:  First I would wait to pick a date and be 100% sure the out-of-state Maid/Matron of Honor can make it before feelings get hurt (just in case). Second, are you sure you have to have this MOH? How will she help you from states away? I mean, if this other Bridesmaid or Best Man has to do all the work without the title I bet it will result in a lot of hurt feelings/resentment.  No way you could have two MOHs? Just a though. And finally, if you just have to have this Maid/Matron of Honor and you know that the Bridesmaid or Best Man will be expecting it to be her I would make sure to go have a lunch or dinner with her and break it to her gently rather than just ignore it. Let her know she’s still important to you.

Post # 5
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think that after you set a date, you just ask this friend to be a bridesmaid.  You don’t owe her an explanation of why she’s not your Maid/Matron of Honor.  However, if she does ask (which I think would be incredibly rude), you just explain that you have a good friend whom you’ve already asked to fill that role, but that you’d love her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Honestly, she may have expect to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, but that doesn’t obligate you to make her your Maid/Matron of Honor or explain to her why she’s not.

The topic ‘Worried that a friend expects to be MOH, but I already chose someone else…’ is closed to new replies.

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