- 3 years ago
- Wedding: March 2015
Argh, I feel so awful that I’m typing this. It makes this real and it sucks. Please don’t jump at me for writing this, I really am incredibly low-key about this wedding stuff because I know that no one really cares about it as much as FI and I. Also I’m not having a Bachelorette or a shower or any pre wedding parties, all my bridesmaids need to do is turn up. I’m even trying to organise their outfits at no cost to them so that they don’t feel imposed upon.
I have three (maybe four – an incentive for my sister to do well in her final year at high school) bridesmaids – one is my best friend since I was 5, the other my best friend from an exchange year I did overseas and who I’m in touch with all of the time (a guy – he is the bride’s best man lol) and then my best friend from Uni.
Uni best friend – I don’t know what I’ve said or done. She is the only one of my bridesmaids that lives in the same city, like 15min walk from where I live. The last time she saw me was on her birthday (late August) and even then she seemed .. almost awkward because I was there. We used to live together and practically live in each others rooms for years until 2013 when my FI and I moved off to do our own thing.
Long story short – she takes weeks to respond to messages from me only to be short with me. One friday night I was with some friends and sent her a text message to invite her out with us because we were having a lot of fun. The response I got was a week later to tell me how rude it was to text her when she wanted to study. I thought she was busy so I waited until school holidays to be in touch. Well she took ages to respond and only messaged me back to say too late she had left town when she could have responded before she left and we could have caught up.
Recently, I went to see my mum and finally decided what I was going to wear and what the bridal party could wear. I love the mismatched look and I’m also really conscious that I don’t want my friends to all spend $$$ on something specific. I have 2 beautiful austrian dirndls in my wardrobe that had been gifted to me and figured that these would fit my sister and Uni best friend. My best friend since I was 5 is a LOT smaller so my Mum wants to practice making her a dirndl and then thought about making mine (in champagne dupion silks and laces – I’m so excited!) if the first bridesmaid one is successful. My brides best man owns his own real lederhosen from our exchange year – perfect! (The back up plan is davids bridal lol or a dressmaker)
To cut a long story short, I got really excited! This idea just makes me so happy! So of course I made a facebook thread and added all the bridal party to it and shared the ideas. I also started the thread with the intention that they could all get to know each other better. Well, Uni best friend is the only one who hasn’t said a word in it.
I messaged uni best friend and let her know that my mum would be posting me the austrian dirndl for her to try on and could I come around for 20min one evening and she could try it on for size. She told me not possible until the start of November she was just too busy. I couldn’t believe it. Is she really that busy or have I done something wrong and she is angry at me? She LIVES with all of these new friends that she has and goes out with them several times a week (I see it on facebook)- she can’t tell me she couldn’t make 20min one evening to try on a dress and tell me if it fit. I can go to her. I need to organise something else if that dress doesn’t fit. I’m happy to work around her schedule.
I just got my drivers license this week after years of trying (25 and no license – it was a running joke) and no response to the snapchat. Our other friends not in the bridal party have been catching up with me every week or so as my FI is overseas and we’re all having a great time. I don’t know what I did!
I feel really awful. I’m not an idiot, I feel like my best friend is purposefully trying to avoid me and “puts up with me”. What do I do? I feel like she thinks I’m bugging her – but this is literally the only communication we have had in the last three months. The other members of the bridal party are texting me, driving to see my mum to get measured, calling me about it all excited and coming up with design and hair ideas etc. My mum is a teacher too so this is the last time she had before christmas to put time and effort into dressmaking. The Wedding is in March so I really do need to know whether I need to engage a dressmaker or not.
What do you all think? Am I reading too much into this or is she simply busy? I’m happy to accept the latter but I need some perspective on this! What do I do – I really don’t want to lose my friend! Any other suggestions to accomodate her?