Post # 1
I feel really silly posting this, but I am starting to feel really overwhelmed and stressed that we are not going to be ready for the baby. I’m due late March and suddenly I just feel really sad and panicky that I can’t be ready for the baby or do this..I know this is partly irrational, and I think i may have slight pre-natal depression (my pregnancy has been difficult for various reasons). I am working until 5 weeks before the birth and already I hardly have the energy to drag myself in every day. I’m an admin assistant and my job is so busy and stressful and i have constant demands from people all day. I keep catching colds and getting run down and feel totally exhausted. The thought of Xmas is overwhelming me and i feel like crying.
So, we have so far done:
- cleared out spare room to be nursery
- painted nursery
- booked birthing classes and parenting classes
- visited nurseries and reserved a place for 2014
- sorted my mat leave and my husbands paternity leave
- made detailed shopping lists and started researching items
- narrowed down birthing place to 2 places
- almost picked name
- Have: pram, cot, changing table, some clothes, a few toys, a sling
Still to do:
- nursery wall stickers
- some more clearing up and sorting in the flat
- buy almost everything
- arrange nursery once we have furniture etc
- everything else: wash baby’s clothes, pack hospital bag, etc
- paperwork like wills, guardianship etc
- attend classes
Am I totally behind?! Please tell me I’m doing ok. I really want to be able to be prepared for the baby.
Post # 3
It sounds like your doing great to me! Are you having a baby shower? Just remember, the baby will be in a bassinet with you in the begining so the nursery doesn’t have to be totally done if you run out of time. I know ideally you want everything finished but your baby isn’t going to care if you don’t have time for wall stickers so don’t put too much pressure on yourself:) Have any friends that can help? My circle of girls love helping the mommy to be put the nursery together. Delegate! We got the whole place organized and decorated in 1 day. Try and enjoy the holidays!
Post # 4
You’re doing well. That’s more than I had done by the week my first was born! (Except we’d done classes by then of course, but hopefully you have them lined up). We bought the big ticket items (pram, cot, change table) and some newborn clothes and blankets. Most of the rest we bought as we went. I think these days mothers must be built up to overprepare.
Post # 5
sounds like you have done loads!! Im due mid April and havent bought anything yet. No cot, No pram, No clothes….nothing.
I too have been struggling with depression and generally feeling down, although we think it may be due to an iron deficiency (hope to get blood results back soon to confirm).
You still have plenty of time, dont panic!
Post # 6
I know that it sounds like it’s really important to you to have all of that done, but really you only need somewhere for baby to sleep (DD was in our room/our bed for six months), something for baby to wear, and something for baby to eat. The details are nice, but absolutely not worth making your pregnancy more stressful over! Take care of yourself and your little one.
And honestly, that five weeks before your due date will be really nice! I worked until two days before my due date, as have many of my friends who have had healthy, happy babies. Just recevtiy, my boss worked a half day, then left for her scheduled c-section!
Post # 7
You aren’t behind at all! When I was pregnant with my son (he was born in August), we moved into our new home in June, and we didn’t have his room ready until the end of July. We did the classes and hospital tours in July as well – I personally think this was great because the information was all still fresh in our minds and we remebered how to get around the hospital. Those last two months I was nesting like crazy – exhausted all the time….but I always seemed to have energy to get those details done that you mentioned like washing the clothes, etc. You’ll get it done, I promise. Like PPs mentioned if you have a shower you may not have to buy much, and if your baby is going to be in your room in the beginning the nursery is not nearly as urgent. Good luck and breathe! Also, you don’t want to be bored in the 5 weeks you have off before the baby. Right you are probably saying there is no way, but you may be surprised. I only had 2 days off before my baby was born and even in that short period of time I was bored and wishing I had things to do to get my mind of the waiting.
Post # 8
Thank you so much girls, reading your replies made me feel so much better. And sorry for being so crazy and complaining when i know i really have nothing to complain over.
You are all so lovely and kind on here!
I wasn’t planning on having a baby shower as I don’t have a super close group of female friends and the thought of even the shower was ovrwhelming me. But I will think about asking for help.
@ChocolateLime: I’m so sorry you have been struggling with feeling down too. It’s hard when you feel like you should be super happy all the time, but aren’t. I really hope you get results soon and can take some iron supplements if that is the cause.
Post # 9
@Mrsluckywife: Whooooaaaaa. Calm down darling. I think you are being really hard on yourself, for no need.
You have done a ton of stuff. To be honest with you I think a lot of the stuff we see on here, pintrest etc is not helpful to us. It is just creating a rod for our own backs.
I don’t remotely plan on even setting up a nursery before baby arrives. I plan on having the little one sleep in our room for the first 6 months as per SIDS prevention recommendations. Why would I put a change table in a different part of the house that I would have to stumble into each night when feeding/changing baby?
I plan on only buying the bare minimum that a newborn needs. I don’t even plan on buying a crib until baby is starting to out grow their moses basket. Things like highchairs they wont immediately need so I see no point in having it clutter up my house for 6 months.
Take a step back. Stickers for a nuersery? Its just NOT remotely worth the stress. While I think its cute to personalize a childs room its not needed when they are a newborn and you wont know their likes and dislikes till they are older. Also, how much time do you think you will be spending in the room anyway? You’ll probably be with baby in the living room during the day and have baby sleeping in your bedroom at night for the first few months anyway. What I am trying to say is everyone can break their backs going OTT with nurseries and I often wonder how functional they actually are, or how much time you will spend in them.
What I am trying to say is you have had a very, very rough pregnancy. You have done a ton of stuff. I mean a TON of stuff. Anything else you need to buy/do you can order online in the new year. I seriously think you should embrace the Christmas period and put your feet up, relax and enjoy the company of family and friends. Let them fuss over you and forget baby planning stuff until January. Trust me, baby wont have any idea wheather you bought its car seat in December or in January. Please try to take a step back and enjoy your pregnancy (Despite the terrible struggles you have had), its a short 9 months, you don’t want to feel like you spent the whole time beating yourself up over stickers and the likes!
BIG MASSIVE HUGS TO YOU!
P.S. You deserve a pat on the back, because I know you won’t give one to yourself.
Post # 10
I worry about this too. I’m not due until mid-May but we haven’t really done anything. I did register for classes and I’ve started a registry but we haven’t bought anything (I know Darling Husband will want to wait until the last possible moment) and our “nursery” is still full of DH’s clothes and furniture that needs a new home (well, mostly just a queen size bed we can’t agree on what to do with).
Anyway, I think you’re getting things done at a reasonable pace.
Post # 11
I don’t think you’re behind at all. You’re well ahead of me and I’m due just after you in early April. We’ve had to put off a bunch of stuff until after the holidays though, as Darling Husband is switching jobs and swamped trying to tie up loose ends in his current role.
Anyhow, I did start to feel overwhelmed last week, so I made a huge, exhaustive list of everything we need to do, whose responsibility each item is, and the due date for each item. This has given me tremendous peace of mind. I don’t know about you, but for me the most overwhelming thing was trying to keep track of everything in my head, but getting it all down in one big spreadsheet made me feel a lot more organized.
Post # 12
@Sea_bass: Thank you SO much for that! I needed to hear that I think!
You’re right – looking at pinterest nurseries etc can make us put pressure on ourselves to create the perfect nursery..and I’m one for putting pressure on myself easily anyway and kind of obsessing over being in control of everything.
Thank you. I will try to let go and relax a bit over Xmas, as I’ve got to the point where I’ve been shutting everyone out except my husband.
@iheartnerds: Yes my husband is also one for waiting until the last moment to purchase many things. Which is quite sensible really as some things you discover more about nearer the time..but it does make me a bit panicky!
@hergreenapples: Wow you sound like me with that spreadsheet!! I have one too! It’s called ‘Pregnancy lists’ and I’ve ordered it by date and colour coded it, and then I have another one with all the things we need to buy listed into shops and types of things. The problem is I freak out when stuff doesn’t get done according the list as a lot of stuff keeps getting pushed back..but you’re right, having the list does bring some sense of peace for me too.
Post # 13
@Mrsluckywife: I really feel for you. I hope, hope, hope you can look after yourself.
There is literally nothing you cant order online for next day delivery. (Trust me, I NEVER go to the shops!). You do not live on an artic outpost, anything you need for baby you can get much closer to your due date, no problem. Also, for all the planning in the world, your baby might turn up and not like what you got them and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Also I know you were looking into hypnobirthing and I would highly recommend this. It only costs £2.99 and you can listen to it once a day. It is birth preparation hypnosis and is incredibly relaxing. I would encourage you to talk to your Darling Husband about it and make him make sure you listen to it once a day.
Your doing everything 100% right because you are growing your baby! Nothing else is worth worrying about!
Post # 14
@Sea_bass: Thank you so much lovey. That’ so sweet. I’ll try to do the hypnobirthing. Feeling a lot better after reading your post. You’re right – anything I need, I can order. I love online shopping too – much much easier than trawling the shops! THANK YOU so much.
Post # 15
You are doing great!
I was in your exact same situation last year. I was working construction admin full time. My job was extremely demanding. I felt like I didn’t have the time or energy to do anything. Most of all I did not believe I was “baby ready”.
Right now I would have to say that it is a pregnancy stage that you are going through and it will pass. I am confident that you will get into your ‘nesting’ stage shortly to which you will get everything complete.
There is no reason to believe that you will not be ready for the baby on arrival day 🙂
Post # 16
@lilone4403:Thank you so much for your encouragement! Glad you think it’s a phase. Working full-time while preg is not fun is it?