(Closed) Worry about the spotlight? with poll

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Did you worry about bridesmaids taking your spotlight?
    yes, definitely : (2 votes)
    2 %
    yes but it didn't happen : (1 votes)
    1 %
    no, i wasn't worried at all : (25 votes)
    29 %
    that thought never even crossed my mind : (59 votes)
    68 %
  • Post # 3
    8446 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Not even a little bit.  I’m not looking for everyone to have their eyes on “just me” during my wedding though either.  I see my wedding as a big party with friends and family.  I guess if a bride was to see her wedding as more of a pageant, this would probably be a bigger concern.  Your BMs should be your best friends, not your competition.

    Post # 4
    846 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    that thought never even crossed my mind. actually, now that i think about it, i would rather have people looking at them than me- i hate being in the spotlight!

    Post # 5
    4047 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Nope. I’ve never even thought about it. I’ll be the one they’re all there for (well, and Fiance of course). I’ll be the one in the white dress prancing down the aisle. 

    Post # 6
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    No. I picked reliable, trustworthy friends as bridesmaids who I trust are truly there to support me. I have a hard time imagining how they’d upstage the bride and groom even if they wanted to, but I trust they wouldn’t want to.

    Post # 7
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    Definitely not a worry. It wasn’t “my day,” anyway, it was “OUR day,” and it was about celebrating our marriage with friends and family, not about any kind of spotlight.

    I know there’s a ton of wedding rhetoric out there about spotlights and “your day” and “stealing thunder,” etc., but try to step away from it and focus on your Fiance and the marriage instead. You will be *so* much better off in the long run. If nothing else, think about this: jealousy and ego are really unattractive, and very difficult to hide. If you are thinking about spotlights and worrying about bridesmaids somehow outshining you on your wedding day, that will show, and you will end up detracting from yourself. Joy, on the other hand, is *beautiful* (and also impossible to hide!) The most beautiful brides are the ones who are un-self-conscious because they are totally, glowingly in love and focused on their partner.

    Post # 8
    11747 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    No since I’m not a complete narcissist.  

    Post # 9
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    As a wedding guest, I’ll be honest that I barely pay attention to the bridesmaids.  I mostly just look at their dresses if anything.   Everyone is waiting to see what the bride is wearing and how she is glowing walking down the aisle  (like all brides do!).  Your bridesmaids could all be Victoria’s Secret models, and I’m willing to bet that all eyes would still be on the bride!  So unless your bridesmaids are wearing white poofy dresses and veils, I dont think you should be worried!

    Post # 10
    8422 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    No that thought never even crossed my mind…… Really?!? Seems a bit odd that one could even begin to think a Bridesmaid or Best Man could steal the “spotlight”

    Trust me everyone is focused on The bride AND groom!!

    Post # 11
    1299 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Actually one of my girls recently started to try to upstage me.  She was non existant through out the whole process, and now up until a few months before the wedding she’s really into what im doing so she knows what she can do to one up me… it’s worrying me that she will cause drama.. because she already has!  I’m a no confrontation and try to keep people happy at my expense, type of girl so I’m not a narcissist either but somtimes when you aren’t people walk all over you and you need to grow a backbone.  Something I’m learning the hard way!

    Post # 14
    1123 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    When I was looking for bridesmaids dresses I sent a few pics to my mom and she said “No way! They might upstage you!” That’s been the only time it’s come up at all. Though some are super pretty, it’s kinda hard to miss the one in white at a wedding

    Post # 15
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Not worried at all. I was told when I started picking out bm dresses to pick something that complimented my dress, but was not more sparkly/bigger than my own dress. I think as long as you stick with that, you’ll be fine.

    Everyone will be there for YOU, and everyone is aware that you are the bride. There shouldn’t be a single issue with this you’d have to worry about.

    Post # 16
    23597 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I never even thought about it, but I think mainly I was worried about having too much of the spotlight. I’m pretty shy so on most days I can’t stand when all attention is on me! Haha…

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