Post # 1
Ok so here’s my issue. I made my younger sister my Maid/Matron of Honor and probably a big mistake. I have asked her repeatedly about ordering her dress, has not done yet. I have asked her to help me decide on invites and just basic things like,who should walk with who and just typical bride questions and all I get is a attitude and I don’t care. She’s 24 and pretty lazy makes i made her my Maid/Matron of Honor I mean come on she’s my sister, and all I get is a attitude or if she doesn’t like it oh well I don’t care do what you want is the answer, and if I say anything I don’t care find a new Maid/Matron of Honor is the answer. What do I do? Any advice ? Any one have this issue before? And I want to change my Maid/Matron of Honor but most of my bridesmaids are in anotheto city or state now that I live in Az please HELP!!!!!
Post # 3
The easiest solution is to not depend on her for anything. Do it yourself.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
While it really sucks that she hasn’t ordered the dress, Maid/Matron of Honor duties really stop there. I’d probably stop wedding talk for now, besides the dress bc there is a time limit on that, and stick to other topics.
Post # 5
My Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t do shit.
I had to even decorate for my shower on my own, make my own cake, etc. She was too caught up in her own life to care about my wedding.
I was my Maid/Matron of Honor and the bride.
Post # 6
Ya I’m just thinking of dropping it and if she gets her dress but then if not oh well I just wished I had the Maid/Matron of Honor that helped and was excited to help me plan out the big day. Just errrkkkksss me so bad why do they need to be douChe bags it’s ur day deal with it for the remainder of the time jeeezzz
Post # 7
Give her a deadline for the dress and don’t depend on her for the rest of it. Ask your fiance about invitations or pick them yourself. You don’t need her help with everything. it would be nice to have her input, but necessary.
Post # 8
Stop relying on her to do everything with you; that’s not her job, it’s your FH’s. Start doing things yourself and doing wait for her input.
Post # 9
@MrsMaskatoBe: +1 I’m my own bridal party too. Would be nice if occasionally I got the impression that they care beyond the odd text message of vaguely promising to do something but actually got off their butts and helped me out! I don’t even dare to dream of them taking the initiative to do anything anymore.
Post # 10
And here I thought that she slept with your fiance…
Post # 11
My Maid/Matron of Honor is my 18 year old sister and literally all she has done is try on dresses and stand there while my mom ordered and paid for her dress. I knew going into it she would not be planning anything and that’s fine. Just do things yourself.
Post # 12
@Oxfordnerd: No kidding. I’m glad it’s over. That aspect at least. But now it’s HER wedding, so of course she wants me to bend over backwards for her. I’ve used the “I’m sorry, I’m busy” or “I can’t do that, I’m pregnant” excuse several times already.
Post # 13
Yep. My sister is the same way, but I had no expectations of her going in to this. For some people, its as much as they can do to show up in the right clothes on time. Lower your expectations – expect nothing – then anything that she does is gravy!
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
I would redefine your expectations of her with her. Maybe look at the knot and print out the list of Maid/Matron of Honor duties. Then sit her down and just explain to her what you expect from her. Let her know how important those things are how important the Maid/Matron of Honor role is.
Make sure she understands what you want her to commit to and make she she is willing to do that. If she is not but you still want her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor (which i understand since she is your sister) you can always get a bridesmaid to be your Honored Maid and have her do the things your sister does not want to do.
Would it be difficult to go with her to order the dress? or if it’s online, be there with her and make sure she does it?
Post # 15
My entire bridal party has done nothing. I have had to even order dresses. Just don’t have expectations and try to organize it so you’re able to do everything yourself. It will be so stressful but worth it!
Post # 16
as someone who doesn’t have a bridal party, I kind of don’t understand how any bride can be mad that their bridal party isn’t doing enough. Their lives do not revolve around OUR marriages. I think that we should honor our friends and family who have stood by us, instead of punishing them with arbitrary/expensive tasks that we could/should plan and pay for ourselves. These are the women and men who have been with us through thick and thin, and as such I feel that they should be revered as honored guests, not punished as personal slaves.
/rant. I just totally dont “get” this whole tradition.
With that said, I do have some close friends who have offered to help with specific things on their own volition and I graciously accepted; they will be identified as such on our wedding website and to any guest who asks.