(Closed) Worst Bridesmaid Story??

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is why I asked my brothers to be my attendants… they just do whatever I tell them to and I know not to expect anything else. No fights about dresses, bachelorette parties, bridal showers, back stabbing, gossipping, or any other type of drama. Universe bless me with sons, please!!

Post # 33
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

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@ORella2012: boys can be just as catty..and more violent! lol I can’t tell you how many times my aunt ended up in the emergency room with her 2 boys (broken arms, dislocated shoulders, chipped/ knocked out teeth) be careful what you wish for!!! haha

Post # 35
Member
7294 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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@MrsTrigger:  wow, how did she take it and what was she demanding?

Post # 36
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Three of my 5 bridesmaids are amazing but the other two have been a little troublesome. I’ve been a really relaxed bride and have allowed the girls to pick out their dresses as long as they are black and short, choose their shoes and have only asked for help if they can spare some time.

Maid of Honor (my little sister) lives in NC and is still unsure of how she’s getting home for the wedding or when she’ll be here. She waited to order her dress until last week and then didn’t have the money so my mom (who is unemployed) said she’d pay for it. She has a job, granted its minimum wage, but spends all her extra income on “questionable recreation” if you get my drift. Super frustrating!

Bridesmaid or Best Man #1 has been the biggest problem though. First she tried to convince me to let the BMs wear flip flops for the ceremony when I’m having a formal church wedding just because she doesn’t want to wear heels. Even went behind my back to have my FH and other BMs convince me to allow the flip flops. When I stuck to my guns about black shoes with at least a slight heel, she complained for 6 months how she couldn’t find any shoes.

On top of that, she thought she could invited her parents, who we don’t know well, to our reception so they could watch her 1 year old. We told her we didn’t have the space. So she again, went behind my back to my FH and wrote us an email asking us to reconsider. Again we stuck to our guns and told her there was no reason her husband couldn’t watch him.

Then at my bridal shower this weekend, she did absolutely nothing to help my other BMs. She not only didn’t respond to messages about planning it but she never RSVPed even. At least she showed up. She didn’t help monetarily or help set up or take down anything.

But she made comments throughout the whole thing in front of all my guests that made me look like a bitch. First she implied that everything on our registry was only for me and that I was taking over my FHs house so they got a gift that was for him instead of me. WTF? We registered together and made all the decisions together. Then while taking my bows to put together a rehearsal bouquet for me, she said that she wasn’t going to put much effort into it because I’d probably just redo it anyway because I’m such a perfectionist.

I’m just waiting to see what she’s going to pull on the day of my wedding!

Post # 38
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hope they are being good now.

Post # 40
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Well my wedding has finally passed and I’m very sad because I lost so much respect for one of my bridesmaids that I’m pretty sure this ruined our friendship for good.

First off I started with 6 and ended with 4. I had to tell one to step down because she had began using cocaine, and the other is a hippy and couldn’t even give me her address. She said she would tell me by the end of august (wedding was october 5) and I never heard from her. She is in Oklahoma somewhere, never even called or said congratulations on FB! This is after years of telling me how she can’t wait to be my bridesmaid one day and what a good friend I have always been to her. But wait, this is not even the Bridesmaid or Best Man that I lost alot of respect for. I knew her lifestyle and that she was a bit unpredictable so it just didn’t even surprise me. Another Bridesmaid or Best Man actually put a paper over my invitation with the wrong date of the wedding…she is just simple. No hard feelings I found out before the wedding day so she made it.

The Bridesmaid or Best Man that really hurt me is the one that should have understood the most what I was going through because I had just been her Maid/Matron of Honor the previous year. As her Maid/Matron of Honor I planned her bridal shower for 80 plus women and her bachelorette party. She also lives in RI and I live in MD but I never once complained about having to take time out of work to go up there. I went up 3 times…for dress shopping, for the bridal shower/bachelorette party, and then finally the wedding.  The cost of being her Maid/Matron of Honor was well in the thousands of dollars for me.

So then it’s her turn, she didn’t have to travel but once down here for the wedding. I went up there for my bridal shower (which she did nothing to plan and didn’t even contribute in the cost) and she was treated to a wine tasting, hay ride, and some lunch. She didn’t even bring a gift! I spent $100 on her bridal shower gift on top of planning the whole thing!

The bachelorette party was that night, we were getting dinner and bar hopping for a bit before ending at the same club HER bachelorette party was. She had agreed only to go to the first half because clubbing wasn’t her “thing”. WHAT? That was what she WANTED to do for hers and she had a good time on her night! Whatever, I didn’t even raise a stink about it.  Well, me and all the other girls are at the restaurant waiting on her and she keeps calling saying she cant find it but isn’t taking any advice or directions from anyone. Says she will call me back, so I figure she is probably not going to come and since we have already been waiting 30mins on her we order…no big deal. Sure enough she calls back and says a bunch of stuff about them not being able to find parking etc…(mind you her ride could have just dropped her off, no need to park) so I say it’s fine we figured you werent going to make it so we ordered, and she hangs up on me as if I did something wrong. Never even apologized for not making it, or ever called or asked me if I had a good time.

That isn’t all. For the dresses all I asked the girls to buy was an off white/beige sundress. The most expensive dress was $32 that one girl bought. I asked them to all have them by a month before the wedding, this gave them 7 months. All the other girls did except her. 2 weeks before the wedding when I was up there for my bridal shower/bach she still had not bought a dress. 1 week before the wedding on sunday she still had not bought a dress but she said “don’t worry”. Are you frigging kidding me?! I stopped even asking her and by this time I started thinking she was just planning on bailing on my wedding all together. I asked one of the other BMs if they could see if she wanted to go shopping with them so she could get a similar dress. That Bridesmaid or Best Man tells me she said she doesn’t have time to go shopping with her. I never do hear from her.

Friday before the wedding I get a text from her that says they arrived to their hotel, are taking a nap then going shopping. I’m almost amazed that she’s even here. Slightly disappointed though that she is not offering to help at all with setting up for the wedding. My wedding was in a bare bones barn and EVERYTHING had to be set up the day before. But I’m figuring she had to go shopping for a dress. I call her later that night because she was asking me details about the rehearsal dinner. I ask her if she has a dress and she said yes. So I ask if that was what she went shopping for. She said no and started yelling at me for assuming that and says she got her dress on monday. Made no sence to me because the other Bridesmaid or Best Man had asked her to go shopping on wednesday. And she freaks out saying” are you really going to give me an attitude after I just drove ALL the way down here?!” I wanted to be like ya know what, I didn’t even give you an attitude but if you want one you sure as hell do deserve it. I mean with everything else I had to do/worry/stress out about for this wedding you having a dress 1 week before the wedding should not have been one of them. And don’t even try to guilt me for driving down here once, I did it 3 times for you and I work weekends so I had to take time out of work on top of it not you. I call the other Bridesmaid or Best Man that had asked her to go shopping and it turned out that she misread the text and that she had said she had a dress already and wouldn’t have time anyways. i ask that BM  to apologize to her for giving me wrong information. However it isn’t like she ever told ME she had gotten a dress so how can she even get mad by me asking if she had to buy a dress when she got here. ugh and it was the worst timing ever for us to have that argument because I had just had a breakdown at the barn while setting up because we were running late, things weren’t getting finished and I had to leave to go to the rehearsal. I had woken up at 7am and had been non-stop running the whole day, had only half a can of sprite and nothing to eat. I ended up crying like 3 times during rehearsal because I was just stressed to the max.

Wedding day she leaves the wedding early, didn’t talk to me once during the reception, just sat at a table with her husband and acted miserable, and never volunteered to help with clean up. I helped them clean everything at hers, bought her drinks, and mingled with her guests that looked bored and tried to keep the dance floor going.

My wedding had a dancefloor, openbar, cornhole, horseshoes, beerpong, and a really nice park you could walk around(no reason to not have fun). Blah sorry for the rant but yea those are my Bridesmaid or Best Man horror stories.

Post # 41
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’ve been married almost a year now, but my Maid/Matron of Honor Dropped out the morning of my wedding…

 

And by dropped out, I mean she just left.  She has a history of drinking too much and ruining events she attends (like my 22nd Surprise Birthday party, where she was already drunk when I arrived and another friend had to take her home during the party because she was too drunk to function).

 

So at my rehearsal dinner she gets tipsy & starts insulting my brother and also my BIL’s date.  She then proceeds to ask me why am I not doing this & that because that’s what she did at her rehearsal dinner.  I tried to ignore her so as not to call attention to the scene she was making & she then started almost crying because I was ignoring her.

 

Fast forward to later that night, her and I are in my hotel room and I just want to get all my stuff ready for the next day and have a low key evening.  Among other things, the last straw was when she keeps trying to hang my wedding dress up and it keept falling on the floor but she’s too drunk to realize that she’s not even hanging it on a hook, I get frustrated and tell her I just want to go to bed and she should leave.   I also ask her not to drink the next day at the wedding because I want HER to be there not this drunk person, and she agreed.

 

After she leaves I go up to my parents room to say hi to some of my relatives who are there having a glass of wine.  My Maid/Matron of Honor is sitting in my parents room drinking! & she is even more drunk & belligerent than when I left her.  She’s saying inappropriate things and telling my parents about how when I was in college I wasn’t “as good as they thought I was” etc.  My friends & family keep asking me if she’s ok and I finally convince her husband to take her back to her room.

 

The morning of my wedding I wake up and call her room asking her to come over to my room because I want to talk to her.  When she arrives I ask her if she remembers what happened last night tell her if she is coming to the wedding then she is not going to drink,  & if she drinks, she will be escorted out.  She got extremely upset and said I was treating her like an alcoholic & started screaming at me not allowing me to recap what she was like the night before.  Then she left my room and I never saw her again. & we haven’t spoken since.   

She left me all alone to get my hair & makeup done by myself on the morning of my wedding, which should be a happy time spent with friends & family.  Thank God my mom was there; she sat with me and got her hair done too.  My two other bridesmaids were getting ready and then coming to the hotel later so they had no idea what happened until they arrived.

 

That is the only thing I would change about my wedding, because the rest of the day was the most amazing & memorable (& stress free) day of my life.  My SIL stepped into the Maid/Matron of Honor role & her & my other bridesmaid were so supportive.

 

I am so glad this person is no longer in my life, she was poison long before I got engaged & it sucks that it took me that long to realize it, but my life is much happier without her now.

 

@smetivier26 I’m sure you had a wonderful wedding day but it does suck that a friend like this had to stress you out!

 

Post # 42
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Ok first off let me just say that I dearly love all of my bridesmaids… but sometimes they drive me nuts lol.

My biggest issue up to now with them (or one in particular) was with their dresses.  Originally I had planned to let everyone pick their own dresses so they could wear what the were comfortable in.  One of my bridesmaids sent me a pic of a dress she was thinking of around Christmas last year.  It was clear she was only considering it because it was on the sale rack.  The dress was awful!  It look frumpy and like something my grandmother would consider wearing to a wedding.  I politely told her that there were things about her dress choice that I wasn’t sure of and I didn’t want anyone getting their dresses this early because I hadn’t settled on a venue/theme/my own dress.  After that I decided that I would be picking a couple dresses and give them their choice of those dresses, I blamed it on the fact that not all navy blues are the same.

Fast forward to May, its her wedding and she’s having us all go to the carribean.  I can’t really afford it, but she means a lot to me and this is what she wants so I make it happen.  For my fiance and I to go it cost us around $3000, and that’s not including her bridal shower cost, bachelorette cost or the cost for our dresses (which were cheap so whatever) and our hair and makeup.  I didn’t complain, but did it because that’s what she wanted.

Now its my turn.  I found some dresses that I just love, they’re the perfect shade of navy and I think they’ll be flattering on all of my girls (the dress she chose for us was horrible on me).  I tell my bridesmaids about them and tell them that there is a catch, the dress is $300.  I know that’s a lot and I know everyone is budgeting so to make up for that cost I told them not to worry about contributing to my bridal shower and that I didn’t want a gift from any of them for it.  I also said shoes were their pick just silver and if they already had a pair (I know she does) then they are welcome to wear them.  She got all upset because it was a lot of money and stated that she had a hard time justifying that price because she only paid $700 for her own wedding dress.  I mean really?  I paid over $3000 to be part of your wedding!!!!  Yes, I got a vacation out of it, but it wasn’t to a place that I would have picked to go to.  Plus, I’m trying to make it easier for you by cutting down your other costs as a bridesmaid! 

Next, she comes to me and says, with quite a bit of attitude, ” I’m going to be trying for kids in December, so I may be pregnant for your wedding.”  I’m thinking “I don’t care!  If you’re pregnant that’s a great thing and I’m super happy for you.”  I actually fully expected that at least one of my bridesmaids may be pregnant as 2 of them recently got married.  Why should I have an issue if you’re having a baby?  That’s a happy time for everyone.  The way she said it was like she was expecting me to be angry over it, which is ridiculous.  She was like “even if I am, I would be at the absolute most 3 months so I wouldn’t really be showing.  I hope that’s ok.”  I was like “if you are that’s wonderful, the dress would look so cute with a baby bump!”

Ugh, sometimes I wish I just had 2 bridesmaids… the 2 that actually show up for dress picking and whatnot.

Post # 43
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I love my girls but one of them really drive me insane sometimes!

I have a bridesmaid that complains about everything! Doesnt like that she has to spend so much money on wedding stuff. I get it, we are all on a budget, but she got married last year and I was an Maid/Matron of Honor and SO was the best man. We spend about 3k on their wedding. we didnt complain one bit becuase we love them both. I chose a hairdo that is easy to on their own so that it doesnt require a pro to do it. I was not picky about nails and makeup and accessories (like she was becuase we all had to do what she said, yeah she was a total bridezilla) but somehow I am being “unfair”. I also slaved away making her centerpeices becuase I was the only crafty person in the bridal party. She has not helped me at all or even offered 😐 I cant wait for the wedding to be over so I wont have to deal with her!

Post # 44
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@futuremrsq2013:  Isn’t it insane how they seem to forget everything you did for them, and make you out to look like a bad guy. Yea, after being a Maid/Matron of Honor in 2 wedding and then planning my own wedding, I’m so over this crap. I told all my really good friends that are not married yet to never ask me to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I am just so over weddings and could give 2 sh””” to try to ensure someone elses day is so perfect when the thanks in return seems more like a smack in the face. Not to say that they would do the same thing but I just don’t want to even find out.

 

Post # 45
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@smetivier26:  Exactly! I mean I went above and beyond for this girl! I paid EVERYTHING for her bachelorette party, my SO paid for the entire bachelor party as well and gave her numerous hours of my time. And for what? for the crap she is pulling on me? Yes it is a total smack in the face. No one ever appreciates anything. I am sad about it but I now know what our friendship means to her now. I totally agree with you about being a Bridesmaid or Best Man in other weddings. Makes you wish you would have known what you get yourself into before asking them to be in your bridal party thats for sure!

Post # 46
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I’ve posted about this before, but here is the condensed version. Bear in mind that in the UK we pay for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and things… it is not expensive to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Also, when I chose my BMs then I knew that they would not be available to help me with DIY and things, so I don’t blame them for that at all. Anyway. We’ll start over a year before the wedding… picking a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress in my favourite colour. I wanted something they could wear again. Posted about 100 different pics on pinterest. BMzilla went and complained about each one… too short, too long, too mumsy, didn’t want sleeves, that one had a low back, didn’t like the look of the fabric…

Over the months that followed, I tried everything… finding a custom dress maker, trawling the shops, going online… but nothing worked. I also couldn’t get any of my BMs to try things on because they were busy. Finally, I got a Bridesmaid or Best Man to try on a few dresses and we found one we liked. Miraculously, it was also in the right colour and reasonably priced. Got another Bridesmaid or Best Man to try it on and it worked for her. Bridesmaid or Best Man3 and ‘Zilla then say they can’t try it on. Bridesmaid or Best Man3 says it looks fine in pics and gives me her size. ‘Zilla then says “oooh, but I don’t know my size… in store X I’m an 8, in store Y I’m a 12, and in store Z I’m more like an 18”. Ladies, there is NO WAY a person varies that much in size. In the end, I said “OK, I’ll guess your size.” Then it was “ooohh…. personal problems…” basically, she was emotionally blackmailing me into choosing a dress she preferred (which did not actually exist), and threatening to drop out.

I called her bluff and said “oooh, so sorry… if you have personal problems they’re far more important than a silly wedding. Don’t feel bad if you have to drop out!”. Of course, then the dress was not so bad.

I then attempted to send her an invitation… and she was reluctant to give me her address. Then it was “how will I get to the wedding?”. I arranged for my father to drive her, and another friend paid for a double room for the two of them to share on the night because she was broke. But of course… she refused to drive with my father because “she didn’t know him”, despite the fact we grew up together and she’s known him for over 20 years. Then she didn’t want to stay overnight because of her animals. When I pointed out that her Mum lived only a short walk away and could feed them for one day, she was horrified, and replied that it was “a 20 minute walk, and there’s a HILL! It’s a huge imposition!” So then she contacted a mutual friend and attempted to emotionally blackmail her into driving her there and back ON THE DAY. Everyone else called up this friend and told her not to give in. I offered her a lift to the nearest train station and a train ticket back on the day, but she apparently doesn’t do public transport, despite not having a car.

Finally, she called up her ex boyfriend, who drove her there and back on the day. That involved setting off at 5am, arriving at 10am, him picking her up at midnight, and them arriving back home at 5am. Yes, ladies and gents… that’s 10 hours of driving in a 24 hour period. Which is apparently less of an imposition than getting your Mum to walk for 20 minutes up a hill.

And don’t even get me started on the great shoe debacle…

Post # 47
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I need to subscribe to this. It’s incredible.

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