WORST Marriage Advice You've Ever Received

posted 6 months ago in Married Life
Post # 62
Member
7229 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

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@melearenee:  I highly recommend it!

We love each other deeply, but we were raised so differently and we each have different needs/expectations for our homes so having more spaciousness in our living arrangement allows us to each get what we need in a way that still supports our connection. It has required us to practice clear communication and being direct and honest (we don’t let things fester), but I think, in many ways, we are more conscious of that because we aren’t doing the default traditional relationship.

My mother met a couple who had been together for 25+ years and they’d lived a few blocks from each other for most of that time. The husband told her “Yeah, I’m on my way to my wife’s house.” I love it and I’m looking forward to getting to that place with my husband.

Post # 63
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

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@xiphosura:  I agree with you on this.  It’s sad that even today a lot of people still hold such toxic disempowering worldviews.

Post # 64
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee

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@sharpshooter:  I agree that these are very outdated views from the 50s/60s.  But it’s been over 60 years since.  Why are so many people still holding onto such archaic and toxic worldviews in 2021?  With all our advancements, access to technology and information, and access to education why would people hold onto such false beliefs today?

Yes I understand the older boomer generation coming from that era so that’s what they’ve been taught.  You could excuse them by saying they don’t know any better.  But when I hear people in their 30s/40s spouting this same ridiculous nonsense to me is what makes me shake my head.  

Post # 65
Member
1274 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

The worst advice I had was from a male friend who told me to make sure I don’t overshare “gross” information with my husband. I think his exact phrase was “no man wants to hear about girly period stuff, it just makes us think you’re gross”….

Firstly,my husband is absolutely impossible to gross out. I’m squeamish as hell, but in nearly 10 years, I’ve never seen him bothered by anything. He’s sat and held my hair while I was violently vomiting and crying after a weird reaction to my medication, I don’t think he’s going to be bothered by me having a normal bodily function…

Secondly, any guy who thinks periods are a gross girly thing are not mature enough to be married, IMO. If you can’t cope with the normal functions of my lady parts, you’re sure as hell not going anywhere near them!

Thirdly, I LIKE the fact that I can talk about gross things with my husband! We both have complex medical issues, and sometimes it’s nice to be able to complain about it with someone who just understands. I don’t want a marriage where if I get a stomach bug or something, I can’t go and tell my husband and get some sympathy!

Post # 66
Member
334 posts
Helper bee

Well my husband’s reply would be I didn’t marry her for her clothes haha (his sexy way of telling me I prefer you with your clothes off) 😉 

Post # 67
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

I think the worst advice I’ve gotten is you should work it out no matter what because marriage is a life long commitment. If he can step out to cheat, he can stay out. I watched my parents stayed married through all my mothers toxic bullshit. It was horrible to see so from a young age i knew there were certain things id never tolerate, married or not 🤷‍♀️

Post # 68
Member
2740 posts
Sugar bee

another crazy one:–my friends mother told her she’d never get married because her shoes didn’t match her purse.

Post # 73
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

 I dunno, some shit about choosing to stay and make it work or something. Nahhhh screw that. If it’s not working and you feel unhappy enough that you dream of leaving, then stop wasting your life and go. 

Post # 74
Member
28 posts
Newbee

We got a few of the more common ones before marriage, like don’t go to bed angry and keep dating each other, but more of the judgement came in the first 18 months or so after marriage – didn’t change my name and we’re CFBC.  For some reason, many people we knew either A) didn’t know this and can’t accept it or B) thought we’d change our minds once married.  Apparently if you don’t have children, you’re not a ‘real family.’   And I know dogs are very different from children but the four of us are very happy as a little family, thanks.

Post # 75
Member
2740 posts
Sugar bee

 

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@tetonlove:  I accidentally hit flag instead of reply–sorry, I didn’t mean to.

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