- 4 years ago
Hey May Bees!
So, I’m pretty sure I’m the worst bride ever. Maybe not the worst, but certainly bottom tier in terms of planning.
My fiance and I are getting married on May 10 (my grandparents’ anniversary). Here’s what I’ve done so far:
– Taken engagement pics
– Confirmed my gifted, wonderful dear friend will photograph for us (she’s a pro)
– Sent Save-The-Date Cards
– Made sure my sister will be my Maid/Matron of Honor
– Had the table/chair/etc rental company out to my mom’s house to talk about rental stuff for the backyard (we’re having both the ceremony & reception for approx 65 guests there) – no contract signed
– Bought a dress (hasn’t come in yet)
– Bought like 4 veils that were on clearance, so I can somehow magically DIY something I like with a yet-to-be-determined crystal/pearl/? situation
– Set up a website
– Made a bangin’ wedding binder … that’s mostly blank
Caterer? Nope. Cake? Nope. Bar? Nope. Invitations? Nope. Bridesmaid or Best Man dress? Nope. Made any sort of decisions or purchases about decor, colors, flowers, etc? Nope. His ring? Nope.
Here’s my real problem: I don’t care that much. I want it to be nice, want it to be pretty, want it to be fun and all that. But mostly, I just want to marry Daniel; I want us to be husband and wife.
He wanted wedding, I wanted courthouse. He had approximately 0% of a clue about how complicated/difficult a wedding is to plan & execute, so I’m kind of left having to make it happen. He’s willing enough, but also has a lot going on in terms of his personal stuff: work, getting rid of a lot of stuff b/c he’s moving in with me, etc. He is a wonderful, amazing man, and he’s perfect for me; but this wedding isn’t my first choice and he doesn’t know how to help.
I’ve tried to assign him a task (find an officiant). So far, that’s been his task for 6 weeks and he hasn’t done one single thing to make it happen. No internet searches, no phone calls, nothing. He knows it’s hard for me and a disappointment that he’s not helping, and he feels bad when I ask him what he’s done so far and he has to say, “Nothing.” But so far, that hasn’t really caused him to make the wedding a priority. He loves me and wants to marry me; I am 1000% sure of that. I just don’t think he realizes how much pressure it is on me.
I’m trying to focus on the stuff I care about, like good food & booze for our guests and making sure my mom’s house shines (it’s been in our family for over 50 years, used to be my grandparents’ house). But other than that, I just can’t bring myself to care. Tablecloths, escort cards, all that stuff? Blegh, whatever.
Am I hopeless, bees? Is some sort of magic going to come over me and I’ll suddenly start to obsess over gauges of burlap and shades of yellow? The 6 month mark just came and went, and all I felt was sick to my stomach about not having done enough.