(Closed) Worst Unsolicited Wedding Planning Advice

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I hate the (often smug) unsolicited advice, especially since this isn’t my first rodeo. In general, the obnoxious, knowing comments like, “Your life is gonna be crazy over the next year,” and other assumptions that I’m going to be a ball of stress. I like planning and logistics and find te process thoroughly enjoyable. The only part I don’t like is people nosing into it.

Last night Fiance and I had dinner with a couple of friends who are very recently married, so the smugness level is high. The girl told me, “Register at least three places, and then just tell people you want money.” Wtf?

She also flat-out asked what our budget is. The food came right at that moment, so the subject changed, but Fiance told me later he was about to shut that inquiry down. Good grief. I like this girl and she’s a good friend of my Fiance, so maybe she figured it was a harmless question, but geez. Wanna see my bank statements, too?

Post # 4
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It’s not the worst, I just laugh a little at the “just pause and make sure you take it all in! look around at all the faces and remember that moment” advice that EVERY former bride says with dramatic pauses like she’s the first one to ever think of this novel advice.

It’s very sweet advice, just hilariously cliche and dramtically given.

Post # 5
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Future Father-In-Law asked if we had a celebrant/officiant. I said yes. He told me that he had a better idea: the now retired ex-Anglican archbishop who married Future Father-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law was in a nursing home (with dementia!!!) and he could look at having him bought out of the home to do our ceremony, which would be a nice touch as he married them. I had to mute my phone as I was laughing so hard.

Post # 6
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2027

View original reply
rosey1739:  when I married my ex husband someone said, have whatever you want, like my parents had some type of unlimited budget.

 

Post # 7
Member
924 posts
Busy bee

None of the suggestions have been outlandish but just not in line with my personality.  Some family members keep suggesting cash bars.   Others keep asking me if I’m going to invite various random family members I haven’t spoken to in several years.  My aunt was opinionated on ivory vs. white.  These ideas aren’t outrageous but quite unsolicited.

Post # 8
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
rosey1739:  Yeah, and you know no matter what the budget is, everyone will always have something negative to say about it if you DO tell them (not that I have any intention of telling them). It will either be too much or too little. 

Post # 9
Member
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

My fiance isn’t a citizen yet so we’ve had many people recommend getting married now and have a fake wedding later “No one needs to know you’re already married”. Uh no…

 

There’s also overly girly or out of style suggestions from my mom. She means well and I’m so glad she’s excited but her ideas are pretty terrible haha.

Post # 10
Member
215 posts
Helper bee

My future step-mother-in-law told me I have to spend at least $25,000 to have a “decent” wedding. We’ll probably hit that amount anyway, but I thought it was tacky and rude to tell someone: they *have* to spend $25,000; and a “DECENT” wedding has a minimum dollar amount. And I’m NOT telling any family members other than my mom and dad (who are contributing heavily) what our budget is!

Post # 11
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
cassiegirl:  It is so weird what people get opinionated about. At my first wedding, I had mentioned (it was relevant to some conversation I was having) that I didn’t think I would get my nails done before the wedding. I really don’t enjoy professional manicures and generally keep my nails short and natural. An aunt replied crankily, “Well then what’s the point of even having a wedding?” Um…what?

My dad was also insistent on a money dance, like it wasn’t a real wedding without one. I did not do one.

Post # 13
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

We’ve had tons of people enthusiastically recommend venues that are waaaaaaaay more expensive than they realize (or have odd automatic-dealbreaker quirks). It’s been pretty entertaining to see people’s faces when they’ve just suggested the ABC Museum or XYZ Bookstore because they “heard it was super cheap” or  they “went to a cute party there once” and I’ve responded with “yeah, that place is beautiful but they start at $20,000/have a $30,000 food minimum/only allow weddings before 9am/etc.” Complete shock! It’s almost as if I’ve done way more research on this than they have…

Post # 14
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

People who poo-poo weddings after having theirs and are “over it”. 

Post # 15
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

“Travel first.” Um  yeah…as if I can’t travel with my husband. 

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