(Closed) Worst Wedding Etiquette Offense?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Some of the posts have made me a lot more nervous!

As a bride, you always cross yours fingers and hope that guests will act and dress appropriately. I would say I’m most nervous about uninvited guests showing up. My lovely SIL has already informed us that her one guest wouldn’t do, and that she was going to have her friends crash after dinner to enjoy open-bar! My Maid/Matron of Honor has graciously agreed to see that this does not happen 🙂 Not to mention all of the other potential +1’s I can think of. (We were fair across the board, long-term, enagaged, or married couples only, recieved a +1).

Post # 48
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

where oh where do i begin with things that horrify me?!

 

I’m worried that:

 

– People will not RSVP and show up, or vice-versa.  OR bring guests that i don’t know or don’t like or they didn’t RSVP for!

– 2 of my bridesmaids butt heads.. please no fighting on the day of!

– My Fiance will show up late.

– We’re considering a bus to the ceremony/reception venue, because it’s 30 min out of town.. what if someone misses that bus?!?!

– We’re not inviting kids of our friends.. only immediate family’s kids and out of towner’s kids.. I hope nobody brings their screaming newborn!

– Someone will wear a white dress

– nobody will dance / everyone will leave early

– i’ll forget something

 

there are more things i’m sure, and as the date gets closer they are sticking in my mind more and more… aaah!!

 

edit:  also, my FI’s parents are divorced.. FI’s sister hates her dad, both parents are remarried, and FI’s mum is a lesbian / marrying her partner a couple months before our wedding.  How interesting do you think that will be?  Really hoping FI’s sister is as good as she promises to be!

Post # 49
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

I’m surprised to hear that so many brides expected gifts/cards to be hand delivered on the day of their wedding. It was my understanding that it is most proper to send gifts to the bride’s/bride’s parent’s home prior to the wedding. It can be quite inconvenient for the new couple and their family to cart gifts home after the reception especially if the couple is leaving for their honeymoon. Also, not all venues (or your gifts) are safe from thieves.  

“If you are invited to the ceremony and/or reception, you should send a gift, whether you are attending or not. Generally, gifts are sent to the bride in advance of the wedding.” – E. Post  Tips on Being the Perfect Guest

Post # 50
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@auntie_m – I totally agree with you. I actually hear this quote a lot on Weddingbee, that brides are mad when guests don’t bring a card or gift to the wedding. I”ve been to a ton of weddings and NEVER seen a guest bring a card or gift, it’s considered bad form where I’m from. Like you said, it’s proper etiquette to send it prior to the wedding to the brides parents house.

 @Corgi – I hear you on families saying embarassing stuff about my past!! My Mom tells EVERYONE she meets in FRONT of me the very embarassing story of my graduation day. I really wasn’t proud of it and it’s not even funny – no one ever laughs they just look at her concerned. FI’s parents have heard the story a couple times now, it’s awful. I honestly don’t know why she likes telling this story so much, but I just try to ignore it and move on.

Honestly, no one has an excuse to be late to my wedding. I sent otu STD’s about 6 months ago and we specifically designed the day so that it was conveneient for guests, trust me, not our preference. We are making valet parking complimentary and our ceremony starts at 5:00pm and the reception is immediately after right NEXT DOOR. You can access our venue from all forms of public transportation and it is easy to drive to (for a city). Check-in at the hotel is 3:00pm, so people have plenty of time to check in, change and walk 10 feet to our church.

Post # 51
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I got married yesterday. My wedding ceremony went beautifully–then the reception happened. I believe I top the list of horrible experiences. We went to cut the cake and the whole time my father–the father of the bride–was talking loudly with my uncle without paying one bit of attention to what was going on. We were up there for a while, too, as we had trouble finding the cardboard to take off the first layer. We were less than pleased, but did not go out of our way to make a scene and instead fed one another some cake before heading back to the chapel to change as it was quite hot and we were wearing multiple layers. At some point my mother came stalking up to the chapel to chew me out for walking out of the reception. I did tell her that what happened was incredibly rude, but indicated that I would make my way back to the reception in a bit. I waited on my matron of honor before heading back to the recreation hall only to find my father blocking the door. He yelled at me and then followed me back in and sat up front throwing insults and threats at me loud enough for everyone to hear while my new husband and I sat at the sweetheart table. He threatened to take back money I was given for tuition for graduate school and to take away my vehicle, which had get technically been a gift to me but is officially in my mother’s name. He also demanded I take off the jewelry I had borrowed from my mother for the wedding right then and there in front of all the guests. My in-laws gathered around and tried to comfort me as I was openly crying and my mother came up to complain about my “attitude problem” and forced me to stand up in front of everyone and open gifts while I cried. There was no bouquet toss, no garter toss, no formal exit (as everyone left already), and no toast. Other than the brief cake sharing I had nothing to eat or drink at my own wedding. My father eventually stood by my car hoping I would try and get it so he could make another scene. My parents never told me goodbye and they took all of the decorations, some of which I had doubled as decor for my house. At one point my mother rudely told my husband to leave so she could “talk to me”, which was basically her just telling me that I was rude and that it was my responsibility to smile and look happy even though I wasn’t because it was all about my guests. Oh, and when my mother in law tried to talk some sense into my father and warn him that we were talking about removing them permentatly from our lives he told her that she was annoying him and needed to just go away. Worst etiquette ever.

Post # 52
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Woo boy, there were several things that happened.

 

One of my cousins was more than an hour late to my wedding. He lived 10 minutes away. Neither he nor his girlfriend had to work that day. Several other guests were late because of an accident on the freeway, but that didn’t apply to said cousin. It’s almost a guarantee that at least one person will be late.

Paid our ex-officiant/”friend” $200 to officiate our wedding, he was a jerk, politely fired him. He still came to the wedding, never even offered to repay the money, ate and drank, didn’t even bother getting a card. I never expected to see the money again, but showing up after all of that without even a token gesture just took it to the limit. Needless to say, we are no longer friends.

 

 

Post # 53
Member
614 posts
Busy bee

@Jdspickes:  Oh my god, I am so sorry that happened to you! How horrible, it’s crazy that people that love you could be so cruel on one of the most important days of your life. Try to take solice in the fact that even though it didn’t go the way it should have, at least you still married the love of your life.

I honestly wish I could yell at your parents for you!

Post # 54
Member
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I hadn’t really thought about it pre-wedding but I had a couple of faux-pas: I had 1 wedding crasher, 1 girl wearing a white lace dress and one gentleman that showed up in sweat pants (SERIOUSLY?). I really didn’t notice any of these until a couple of guests pointed it out (and I really didn’t care).

The worst thing that happened at my wedding though, etiquette wise was DH’s uncle having a meltdown for being seated with his parents (DH’s grandparents) for dinner. They yelled at my Mother-In-Law (his sister) and stressed her out all night. The kicker was that they LIVE UPSTAIRS from the grandparents – If they had specific problems with a seating plan they should have called us weeks before the wedding and it could have been arranged. Super rude!!

Post # 55
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@kjpugs:  I had people who did RSVP and not show up, which is somewhat annoying, but at the same time I was so absorbed in enjoying my reception that at the end of the night I didn’t care! Had we had to pay by plate, however, then I would have been very upset…

I also worried that I would dump food on myself while eating, but thankfully that didn’t happen. What did happen, however, was a friend was bumped from behind, and spilled some of her wine on my dress. Thankfully she was drinking rose-colored wine, we were able to brush it off quickly before a stain set in.

Prior to the actual day/getting everything started, EVERYTHING seemed to worry me. But the day went off well, and i just caused myself some uncecessary stress. Good luck!

Post # 56
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I know this really isn’t that bad but it’s the first thing I’ve found offensive to anyone.  I was just at FIs college reunion and a woman he is not even close to assumed not only that she would be invited but also that she would be able to bring a friend.  Seriously we can’t invite every person he went to college with especiallyi their friends too.  This was the first person other than close family who assumed they’d be invited.

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