Post # 1
So I’m stuck in a really really tough situation. Pretty much every girls worst nightmare. At the beginning of our relationship my then bf, was friends with this girl that he used to date casually (never bf/gf) . I never trusted her because something just seemed off but he kept saying she was nice and that I should try getting to know her. Well I did, until she decided to full out try to steal him from me by sending him naked pictures of herself. He had left his email open one day and when I came home from work he had a new email from her and while I shouldnt’ve looked, I did and was livid. I told her off and he completely cut all contact with her and deleted her from his life so she’s been out of the picture for almost two years now.
My Fiance got a great job last spring and I was lucky enough to get hired on as well about two weeks ago , so although we work in different departments, we still get to have break together etc which is really nice. Here’s where it becomes a problem. I was walking around the other day and just about died when I noticed HER working there too! Not only is it bad enough that this psycho who sent naked pictures to my Fiance is working at the same place as us, but she actually works in his department!
What do I do!? I really want to keep my job, but how the heck am I supossed to keep my cool when I really really hate this psycho and want nothing more than to scream at her! I don’t think she knew either of us worked there, so I don’t think it’s her intentionally stalking him. But at the same time, knowing they have to work late together while I go home is going to kill me!!
Does anyone have any advice of what to do? I’m freaking out 🙁
Post # 3
how is it you are JUST now discovering she works with him? If that were me, I’d be livid at my Fiance for NOT telling me she works there in his department to begin with.
Post # 4
SHe just got hired the other day, he had no idea. She’s only seasonal so she’s not guaranteed to keep her job past 3 months, but I’m worried she will. He definitely had no idea she worked there as he wasn’t working her first shift (but I was).
Post # 5
Do you think she got the job because she is stalking your man? Or could it be possible that it’s a coincidence? What does your Fiance think about working with her?
Post # 6
baystatebride, i think your imagination is a little overactive.
summerbride, just avoid her and hope she doesn’t stay on. there’s nothing you can do about it.
Post # 7
I think the best thing for you to do is just ignore her. Pre-emptively going after her will only make her think your relationship is weak and cause tension for which you will be blamed.
Your Fiance had no idea she was also an employee and isn’t speaking with her, right? That’s what matters.
Post # 8
I don’t think she’s stalking him, they haven’t had any contact and have no other friends in common so she wouldn’t have a way of finding out. I’m not sure if she even knows we’re getting married yet. He’s not happy about having her there but he doesn’t know what to do either. He’s been there longer than me so he can ask his boss to make him not work with her and it won’t be a problem, but I’m new so I can’t really do that without looking bad. And sometimes I do get sent to work in her area. ugh I’m dreading working tonight now 🙁
Post # 9
It may be hard, but if you want to keep your job, and your Fiance too, you guys will have to keep it professional at work. Hopefully the last two years have been enough for her to have moved on and maybe have someone in her own life, or shes grown past that stage. As long as Fiance doesnt even cross the line of trying to become friends with her and keeps it STRICTLY professional… I’d just have to hope she’s out of there in 3 months.
Post # 10
I definitely wouldn’t say anything at work, as much as I want to. I understand how important it is to be professional at work. but that doesn’t mean my blood doesn’t boil everytime I have to walk past her.
You guys are definitely right, that ignoring her is the best option. It’s just really hard lol. I’m just going to hope that they don’t keep her on past her seasonal date. Or maybe she realizes how awkward it is to work with both of us and will leave lol. I’m definitely crossing my fingers!
Post # 11
@summerbride12: I recommend writing her name (or initials, anyway) on a stress ball and keeping it handy to squeeze when she’s around or you think of her. Works wonders.
Post # 12
@kitzy: Not really. I’m just trying to figure out where on the spectrum this girl falls, so I gave both extremes as examples.
@summerbride12: I agree, ignoring her is your safest option. I think that your Fiance might be the only one in the position to do anything about her anyways (like speaking to HR to alert them of the situation, or speaking to his boss about scheduling). Hopefully you don’t have to cross paths with her too often!
Post # 13
Will they actually be doing work together or are they just in the same department? Maybe I’m a little crazy, but my Fiance has a similar ex and I know for sure I would not be okay with them “working late nights” together. I can see how this would be upsetting!
I do agree with PP, however, that you just have to be as professional as you can right now. If things become a problem maybe your Fiance can work out an alternative schedule or request to not work with her because he’s the one with seniority. At this point though I think you’re going to have to hold your head up high and show this girl you have some class….unlike her! The most important thing is for you and your Fiance to communicate well and be open about this. Good luck!
Post # 14
This may sound harsh but I think you need to get over it and act completely professional. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right? Get on with your life, be happy the you won (FI’s marrying you not her) and move on. Hopefully she’ll be gone in 3 months and this won’t be an issue.
Post # 15
Your Fiance did the right thing by cutting off communication with her when she sent him inappropriate pictures of herself. Now, just trust that he is the same responsible man as before and be professional about it.
Post # 16
If she’s seasonal, just wait it out. 3 months isn’t that long. You know you and your Fiance are rock solid, so that’s all you need to know. She’ll move on when the season ends.