Post # 169
I feel like I’m getting an ulcer just reading all of these… ugh.
I’m having a no-kids wedding too, and am sending out my invitations in February.
I’m putting the “we have reserved (2) seats in your honor,” -AND- addressing just Mr and Mrs Smith on the envelope -AND- putting “as much as we love the little ones, this event is adults-only” on the RSVP. I’m trying to cover all of my bases.
All of my cousins range from mid 30s-mid 40s, and they all have 2-3 kids each… but they do a lot of adults-only stuff so I feel like I’ll have a really easy time with them *knock on wood*
But to be honest, no child on this planet, is worse than the one child I HAVE TO INVITE: my niece. She’s 4, and she’s a rotten, spoiled brat. She SCREAMS a blood-curdling scream when she wants to watch tv, or wants a snack, or wants anything. I mean it; her scream is so horrific, it sounds like someone is STABBING her. My sister and my Brother-In-Law have absolutely no control over her. They just spoil her constantly and give in to whatever she wants. If I think about it too long, my stomach hurts. My fiance keeps telling me to just be honest with my sister and tell her no kids are allowed, but I know my sister will just go ape-sh*t on me and scream at me and then proceed to guilt trip me, and then probably try and shame me on facebook or something. Fck. I don’t know what to do. :
Post # 170
@LadyMoriarty: you say no. honestly, just because some people can’t handle the word no doesn’t mean you should indulge in their behavior. Just like their child would be better served hearing no once in a while.
Post # 171
@Peacockhead: That is a great point. I really agree with you…
My sister, is just… ok, for example: one time she was yelling at me, and instead of indulging her, I decided to just walk away from the situation calmly. She threw a drinking glass at me. Luckily I dodged it and it hit the wall instead, one shard hit me and cat-scratched my arm.
She lives far away from me now, so I’m not worried about physical harm, I’m worried about all of the emotional harm she’ll do. I just don’t know if I can handle all of that.
I will figure it out though. I have to. I want my wedding to be happy, not stressful.
Post # 172
It’s amazing what we all have to go through, beacuse of the narcisistic and histrionic people in our lives.
When we set up our website, and included it on the Save-the-Dates, it wasn’t password protected. Now that we can see the traffic to the site (theknot), we’ll make it secure, when the invitations go out. (We only have a 110 capacity – why 20 hits a day?)
I can just imagine some uninvited people will want to show up, use the discounted room block, and call it a family reunion. Not happening.
Post # 173
PA, you hit the nail on the head. Some people think this is a family reunion — but on your nickel. Just keep repeating, sorry no kids, sorry no second cousins, whatever. Tell your mom and have Fiance tell Future Mother-In-Law ahead of time, they are not to add people or THEY will have to univite.
Post # 174
When I mentioned to a friend that we were thinking of having a “No Kids” Wedding, she just about blew up on me. Saying things like, “I guess I won’t be coming. There’s no way we can get a sitter for that long.”
Our wedding was more than a year away at that point. It just seemed a little ridiculous. If you’re really our friend, you’ll make time to drop off your kid and celebrate with us for a few hours. lol
Post # 175
I think the rudest response was a family members of Fiance who told him that family should be invited, including children….. but she was only referring to her son’s children, not the children of Fiance siblings! I was like what! Ridiculous.
Post # 176
I actually had no problems. We had 3 kids – my neice who was 11 and a junior bridesmaid, my nephew who was 5 and the ring bearer and then my DH’s neice who was 3 months and sat with his sister the whole time. Really there was no problem – and we didn’t even write adults only on the card. The only thing was that we had a few of my cousins (who are all much older than me) call to see if their kids (teenagers/early 20s) were invited – we said no we couldn’t accomodate and there were no problems.
Post # 177
@LadyMoriarty: Wait, she threw a glass at your?!
Um NO. This is where her spawn gets her behavior from!!
You call her and tell her you are having an adult wedding ONLY. BLock her newsfeeds on FB, ignore her calls, and IF she shows up at your wedding with her crotch fruit you have your hostess escort her to the back of the church.
Post # 178
@tiffani3089: that’s your opinion. I’m personally not a fan of children at weddings. I dont think night time receptions are appropriate for kids and my future children will not be attending any and no children will be invited to my wedding.
Post # 179
@FoxyBride14: Agreed! I don’t think dragging your small child to a late night wedding reception with drinking and dancing is good parenting. We caught so much flack from family for leaving our child at home when we were invited to a wedding. Everyone “promised” to take care of the child during the wedding but we all know that is not going to happen. I had people come up to me asking me “Don’t you miss your child?!”/ I love being a mother but seriously, me being gone while the child sleeps is not going to harm the child and everyone needs a break some time.
Post # 179
I’m reviving this thread because I love reading all these horror stories (even though the entitled attitude of some parents makes my blood boil)!
I’m curious: Have any of you, or know someone who has, actually told a parent with a child that was screaming during the ceremony to take the child out of there? What happened?
It’s a shame that it’s kinda socially unacceptable to tell other people’s kids off and ask them to stop whatever they’re doing.
Post # 178
i was just at a wedding where this kind of situation happened- the neice was a flower girl and was acting up the entire time of the ceremony. which made EVERYONE uncomfortable. I think its best to be honest with the parents; and state- there are no kids allowed due to ” venue policy in regards to the open bar” or something like that.
Post # 179
DH’s sister wasn’t happy about our adults only post-elopement reception. She would tell us, “but MY daughter can come right? Afterall she would have been your flower girl if you didn’t elope? You were there when I gave birth to her so she has to come with.”
No SIL, she does not have to come with. A 3 year old has no place around a dinner cruise with an open bar. When we say no kids, we mean no kids regardless of the child. DH has many nieces, nephews, and godchildren and none of them were invited either. We were firm with SIL so she did not bring her toddler, but she did bring a new boyfriend who was not invited and showed up over 2 hours early even though the invite said to arrive at 5. Some people just don’t understand how invitations work…
Post # 180
We’re dealing with this right now – so far it’s been the worst part of our planning process. Originally everyone SAID that they were on board with our 18-and older cut off.
THEN we found out that my fiance’s family was upset because two of his aunts had children both above and below the 18 year old cutoff (17 and 19 / 16 and 18). So we made a one-off exception for those two families, and allowed them to bring their 16 and 17 year olds. There are no teenagers on my family who would be offended, and no other cousins in that age range on his side, so we didn’t think there would any blow back. Boy were we wrong!
The week we were sending out final invitations, we get a phone call from my Future Father-In-Law saying that my fiance’s mother couldn’t stop crying because she was “so upset” that there was one child – a 5 year old – on my fiance’s side being “excluded.” She was worried that his feelings would be hurt, and/or his parents wouldn’t come. Well, we didn’t have any teenagers on my side, but we do have about 10 kids under 10. If we invited a 5 year old on my fiance’s side, we needed to then invite all 10 kids on my side in this age range, plus the kids of our close friends who are coming as well.
We held strong for about three days, but his parents wouldn’t answer the phone when we called, would leave us teary voicemails while we were at work, etc. We finally gave in and said that we would invite all children.
Believe it or not – rather than saying thank you – his parents then laid on the guilt trip, saying that they didn’t “force” us to make this decision, and that this wasn’t their fault!
My adults-only party now has about a dozen children under 10 coming. I’m hurt, resentful, and have to let it all go because this is going to by my family too. *SIGH*
Sorry for the novel, I’m obviously not over it…