Post # 181
I’m breaking all ettiqute with my guest list and I really don’t care. I am inviting some children. My cousins children that I know and see all the time I would love to have there. I have cousins who have children I have never met and they aren’t invited. Some friends’ kids are invited and some friends’ kids aren’t. I’m sure there will be backlash at some point (we are still early in the planning), but I don’t care..they don’t have to come lol. One friend even said there is “no chance in hell” she is bringing her kids (who would have been invited) because she wants a night out with her boyfriend.
If a couple doesn’t want children at their wedding that is fine by me! It’s their day and nobody should get mad about it.
Post # 182
I’m sorry you have to go through all this. Ugh, the nerve of some people. Guilt tripping after they got their own way? Really? Don’t they realise that YOU will be family soon too and treat you as family? Some people just don’t understand that it goes both ways.
Post # 183
I love reading these responses! I’ve been planning on my wedding being adults only, but I’m now getting ready to announce to it everyone…. Cannot imagine how it’s going to go. All I can think about is our family Christmas parties where the kids are running wild, stomping up & down the stairs nonstop, banging on the piano, chasing the dogs around the house and making them bark. Whew! My mom has thrown a few adult only events and I have a cousin who hasn’t been to any because she won’t get a babysitter. She says she refuses to leave her children until the youngest one (who is just starting to crawl) is at least 8 Years old. She achieves this by not working & by homeschooling the older 3. last time I saw her she said “we will definitely be at your wedding!!!!” I already know she is going to be a problem.
Post # 184
I don’t have the energy to read all 13 pages of this thread, but the ones I did read are funny….. and I am so scared for when our invites go out. We are going to get hella backlash from FIs side for having kids in the bridal party for our “adult only.” Our issue is capacity, we have made major cuts to family and friends already, so there is certainly not room to add in 23 kids.
My biggest worry is that some will just bring their kids anyway. We have a B list (gasp! so rude, I know) so we will without a doubt be at full capacity, so I can’t imagine going over that will go well with our venue!
Post # 185
We weren’t dead set against children coming, we just don’t have the room. Our venue’s maximum is 50, but it’s crowded at 45. For a lot of our family members it would be a destination wedding (we live in florida, they all live in other states or countries) so we knew that even if we invited the max of 50, not all of them would be able to come.
We invited about 57 people and ended up with 36 on our final list – that includes the photographers (2) and one extra meal just in case my grandmother does decide to come.
I went to all my cousins’ weddings when I was a kid (I’m the youngest cousin by about 8 years/10 years) but we just don’t have the money for a big wedding. My cousins all had ginormous weddings, because they had the money to do it. Oh well. I addressed our invitations to people by name, and included the number of spots we have reserved for them; I’m so happy no one decided to just write in extra people. That would be awful.
No one is upset or has made any rude comments- at least, not that I know of. I’m sure that some of my cousins declined because they didn’t want to leave their kids that long. It costs a lot of money to fly here, get a hotel, etc. and it would be pretty disappointing to go all the way to Florida and not be able to make a family vacation out of it (take the kids to Disney, etc). I totally understand that, and respect it. If they can’t come, it’s less I have to pay for, and I’m not fussed.
I’m just happy nothing crazy has happened. But, my biological father is manic depressive and sometimes he’s not on his meds, which can lead to crazy things being said or done. I would (sadly enough) be happy if he couldn’t make it because he has never been involved in my life and often says crazy things, but so far he’s insisted he’s coming. I didn’t have the heart not to invite him. I just hope nothing happens.
Post # 186
Just had a cousin decline because we said no kids at the wedding. We got her RSVP in the mail yesterday and she checked off the “declines with regret” I sent her a text message saying that we will miss her at the wedding. To which she replied “Well I dont want to leave my son home alone that long (she lives 45 minutes away and he’s 4 so uhhhh he wouldn’t be home alone) if little Johnny can come we’ll accept though” I just told her again “We’ll miss you at the wedding”. Dont try to guilt me into letting your rude and rambunctious son come to my wedding
Post # 187
That is the deal with me. My cousin is being a B about the entire thing. Her kids do not behave AT ALL. They were little jumping through the pews at my Aunts (HER MOTHERS) funeral. It was awful. Like your kids don’t behave and I am not dealing with it at my wedding.
Post # 188
I really wanted a kid free wedding, but Fiance has a HUGE family (500+ cousins….on one side. His parents have 12 and 15 siblings….) and the culture here (Mormon) is that receptions are super casual and you invite everyone you have ever met in your entire life……So, if we were to ony invite adults, we would get so many rude comments. And FI’s family would probably never speak to him again. We are already doing a few things that have made people upset (Not getting married in the temple because I’m a recent convert and you have to be a Church member for a year first, not having a Bishop marry us, not wearing a *completly* modest/lined dress.) so I gave up on the kid-free idea and will just have to deal with it if some crazy child starts wailing during the ceremony.
Post # 189
I had to add this because it’s so ridiculous. My childhood friend has an older sister who I was never close to also lives on her own now. Recently my mother saw them and the mother flat out asked why the older daughter wasn’t invited. Um…because she’s not invited (she’s about 30). The mother actually pulled the “well if she’s not invited I don’t think we’ll be coming.” GOOD 4 extra seats for people who care about me and my Fiance… but my mom was on the spot and said she could come. I wish it was me instead.
I’m waiting for my stepmom’s sister to say something about the AOP since that means her bratty daughter can’t come and waste a plate of food. No children at our wedding unless they are blood.
Post # 190
My sister is not only not coming to the wedding because her children aren’t invited (we’re not inviting any children, so it isn’t like we’re singling her out), but she has decided that I’m not allowed to buy her children gifts anymore because I wasn’t considerate enough to invite them to the wedding, so I must not feel close to them anymore, and it will save them future feelings of rejection.
They are 7 and 8 and don’t even know what a wedding is…
Post # 191
Drama like this makes me glad that in my church tradition, a wedding is a sacrament, and you can’t “not invite” people to a sacrament; they’re for the whole Church. Anyone from the parish (or, technically, anyone who knows about the wedding) can come to the ceremony.
This doesn’t apply to the reception, obviously, since receptions aren’t part of the sacrament, but it does cut down on drama!