(Closed) Worst/rudest response you have ever heard of to a NO KIDS wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
4980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Jess1483:  +1

 

I don’t have any stories since we allowed and really never thought about having an adult only wedding. In fact every wedding ever been to has had kids invited.

But hey it is your wedding you go with your bad self there.

Post # 33
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

“Nobody is coming into town for Christmas because they’re all saving money to come to your wedding in January – now my kids won’t get to see the rest of the family!”

A.  The 6 brothers and sisters on my mom’s side are all LOADED ( – they can afford it if they needed to.

B.  The last time more than 3 out of town family members made it in for Christmas was over a decade ago.

C.  This wedding is including family but it’s not a family reunion.  Don’t put that guilt trip on me because I’m not buying it.

D.  Nobody is flying into town for 12 hours.  Let your children visit with their aunts and uncles the day before or day after.  Jesus F.

 

 

Post # 34
Member
1413 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I haven’t gotten any rude comments to my no kids wedding. Just an entire family that declined that has not spoken to me since. Oh well.

Actually, my cousin got a little mad and said to my mom that weddings pay for themselves and that’s why I should allow kids.  In what world do weddings pay for themselves! He eventually ended up RSVP-ing and still coming without his kids 🙂

Post # 35
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@skippydarling:   I agree weddings In general bring up issues that haven’t been dealt with

Post # 36
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I guess I have never been invited to an adult wedding only.  Every wedding I have ever attended has had children LOL…

One thing you have to consider….not all people who say that can’t come because they don’t have anyone to watch the children are fibbing- my family WAS my babysitter for my son- especially when he was younger.  I didn’t have another babysitter I just happily left my baby with.  So if my WHOLE family was invited to the wedding, I didn’t have a babysitter, end of story.  While it’s each couple’s decision to have an all adult wedding or one with kids, it’s each parents decisions as to who they have watch thier babies and kids.  

My cousin got married when my son was 3 months old.  That was on my dad’s side.  The SAME Saturday, there was a wedding on my mom’s side- that left no one to babysit.  Thankfully my son WAS invited to the wedding, but I likely would have not gone if my son wasn’t invited- and it woudln’t been out of spite in the lease, but out of the simple fact I am not hiring a random to watch my baby so I can attend a wedding.

Fiance briefly considered a no kids wedding because we were being pressured into having a much larger wedding than we wanted, but I realized that’s not who we are- and was reminded by my mom that KIDS are not what drives the cost up, as their meals usually cost less and they aren’t hitting the open bar LOL.

I do also think that FAMILY might be a little insulted- to us, family is important.  My Fiance sister will have a newborn and while I imagine her to have her BF’s parents watch the baby, we have informed her that baby is welcome at the wedding.

 

Post # 37
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We haven’t had a bad response yet.  A couple of clarification questions, and a request to bring the infant to the church but not the reception, and we were done.

 

The only kids coming are the ones in our bridal party and the best man’s infant son.

Post # 38
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Jess1483:  Agreed. We’ll be having a no children wedding and reception at a historical venue. If someone really doesn’t want to attend b/c their children are not invited, I will graciously accept their regrets. 

For our out of state/country guests, we will provide for off-site childcare.  My grandnieces (FG) and grandnephew (RB) will leave after dinner to the childcare location as well.

I’ve thrown a lot of parties and fundraisers.  As the host, you do get to define your own party/event.  If you define a wedding as a family event, fine, have it that way.  But others, like me, do not define weddings that way. Mine is an adult event.

Several years ago I changed my annual Halloween party (about 80-90 guests) from “family” to “adult only” due to several mishaps, but mainly b/c the kids always (and I do mean always) ended up drinking alcohol.  These children were all under the age of 10. No parent can watch their child every second, and kids will be kids. Everyone likes the parties so much better now 🙂

We are serving alcohol at our wedding. No kids. No one has given us any kind of flack for it…yet.

 

Post # 39
Member
2184 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@tiffani3089:  I dont agree that Weddings are totally a “family event” ….its whatever kind of event the bride and groom want to have. I say this because there are a lot of people out there with toxic family members in their life (including myself) and no matter if I have 1 or 60 people from my family there, the only thing this day is about is me commiting myself to my Fiance….

Everyone deserves to have the wedding day they want whomever that includes. Just because some couples choose to exclude kids doesnt make it less of a wedding

Post # 40
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@skippydarling:  People might surprise you! I expected all hell to break loose, but all our family and friends were all too happy to have a night out minus the kids. Two or three couples said it was the first evening out they’d had since their child was born, and they were loving it!

The only rude comment I had was from an acquaintance of my mum’s, who wasn’t even invited, who told my mum we were selfish and I must hate kids. Lady, I’m studying to be a primary school teacher. I LOVE children. Just not at my wedding and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post # 41
Member
5521 posts
Bee Keeper

@skippydarling:  OH’s friend told me I was ‘selfish’ for not inviting children, despite the fact that a) we are not close to any children b) we are VERY limited on space, and only people who we are very close to are invited and c) our wedding is not going to be at all appropriate for children anyway. What annoyed me most was that he didn’t call OH selfish even though he feels even more strongly than I do about not inviting children, and the friend in question DOESN’T EVEN HAVE CHILDREN! So, he was getting riled up about something that has ZERO bearing on him. Further, not ONE of the parents invited to our wedding has seemed at all upset or offended; several are making it a romantic mini-break away from their kids.

The other weird comment was from OH’s mum. She actually said ‘Are you not inviting children because you don’t want them there, or because you don’t know any? Because if it’s just that you don’t know any, I can find some for you to invite’. Umm, what?! I found that SO weird… Why would we invited strangers? And does she run some kind of rent-a-child service or something?! I mean, WTF?!

Post # 42
Member
5521 posts
Bee Keeper

@tiffani3089:  Weddings are like any event: they can be whatever you make them. They are not automatically ‘family events’.

Our ceremony is at 1pm; our wedding will end as late as 3am. All our guests love to drink, and dance; a lot. The venue is a boutique 5* hotel that is simply not child-friendly, at all, and nor is the type of event we have chosen to have child-friendly. Further, we do not have any small children in either of our families; the only children we are inviting are our cousins, aged 11 and 12, who are in the bridal party. There was no way I was cutting an aunt, uncle or close childhood friend from our guest list to accommodate the children of 3 of our day guests, particularly as those guests were excited at the prospect of a weekend away from their children, in a luxury hotel.

Weddings are what you make them; a formal, black-tie event is NOT a family event, and really, it is up to the couple to decide what type of event they want, and who they want to invite.

Post # 43
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I didn’t get any rude comments, I only invited nieces/nephews and newborns, and only one couple didn’t attend because of it. I’m enjoying the rude comments and the sense of entitlement some of these parents have!! I’m pregnant and wouldn’t take my child to a wedding unless it was newborn or in the bridal party!

Post # 44
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Jess1483:  I totally agree.  I am having a no-kids wedding and I accept any possible consequences, which may include people not coming because kids aren’t invited.  None so far!

I haven’t had any rude comments so far, just a clueless RSVP.  My family has been spreading mostly through word of mouth that kids aren’t invited.  Even though the envelope was addressed to my cousin and his wife only, his wife RSVPs with her, my cousin and their two kids.  I politely informed her that no kids were invited.  She sends a Facebook message back saying “Oh ok I understand…we have invites to a couple other no kid weddings this summer, guess we’ll have to figure something out.”  Wow, was that necessary?!! A couple years ago, another cousin had a kids-only wedding and she called her and asked if kids were allowed before RSVPing.  I’m a little annoyed that she didn’t extend me the same courtesy.

One of my BM’s Mother-In-Law is staying with them at the hotel and watching their 3 1/2 yo son, and she used to run an in-home daycare and I’m pretty sure she would watch a couple more.  But most people are local and finding a sitter near home, so it’s not a big deal.

Post # 45
Member
1682 posts
Bumble bee

@tiffani3089:  That sort of attitude towards weddings is why I cancelled mine and decided to have a private destination wedding. My wedding is not your family reunion and I don’t like children so they’re not invited. 

Post # 46
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We had a child free wedding and we have absolutely no regrets. Sure, there were relatives that were pissed and we heard the following lines:

-Well if my darling xyz can’t come, I will NOT be attending!

-You know, the family is really upset you aren’t having children at your wedding. It really takes away from the meaning of a wedding. It is a FAMILY event.

-Well xyz is 15, why didn’t they get invited?

 

 

 

 

 The reason we chose to have a child free wedding was because:

-We paid for EVERYTHING. The in-laws kept badgering us to change our minds and we stood strong because as far as we were concerned, it was OUR day OUR money and OUR decision!

-Neither of us are really fond of children

-We’ve been to enough weddings where a child is screaming/crying/running around during the ceremony

-I hate tripping over children when I’m trying to have fun dancing at 10pm

-Children DON’T need to be around when the groom is diving under the brides dress for her garter

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