(Closed) Worthless bee update

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 136
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Hi Bee,

First off, I want to apologize on behalf of all those from other or this thread who are questioning your validity.

There are so so many of us who believe and support you and will continue to do so as you need it. 

 

 

NOW what I wanted to say, and I know you’ve heard a million times now, but abusive relationships only work because the abused person feels completely dependent on the abuser. It’s no shock that you miss your husband, or that you’re crying over not being with him or in your home.

But here’s the thing, that will go away, I promise you that from personal experience that the more thigns you do to make yourself feel AMAZING, the further you will get away from him and the less it will hurt. It will take time and healing and probably some therapy but you can do it.

When I was getting out of my emotionally abusive relationship, i started a journal. Every morning I wrote down 3 things I loved/was proud/felt good about myself (my outfit is on POINT today, I made a perfect omlette, I am a good friend) and then at night I wrote down 3 kick ass things I did that day (cuddled my puppy, went on a gorgeous walk, wasn’t late for any meetings) as well as every single nice thing anyone said to me or about me.

you would be shocked how many nice things you hear every day that just go over your head until you start paying attention to yourself and others. When you see all that good on paper it makes you feel so much better about who you are and why you don’t need that prick you were married to.

So let me start off by saying: you are so brave. brave brave brave brave. After what you’ve done, I’m pretty sure you could scare off a grizzly bear (I mean, don’t try, but you would have the balls to do it!)

write it down 😉

 

I have edited my comment to be in line with Wedingbee regulations as per below commenters thoughts

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 12 months ago by  lmo013.
Post # 137
Member
5019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

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@ lmo013   

Wedding Bee Terms of Use

i. “We don’t allow posts that are intended to be rude, sarcastic, insulting, berating, argumentative, condescending, or personally attacking, or that otherwise harass users of the Weddingbee site.”

Post # 138
Bee
11808 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Reminder that name calling is against our terms of service. Please keep this thread civil or it will be closed.

Post # 139
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

So glad you’re safe!! I can’t imagine what you are going through. Hang in there, after a while this too shall pass. You will be able to move on to a happier healthier life full of love that you deserve. You will find someone that will return the love you give and heal all the hurt this man did to you. xoxo

Post # 140
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

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@ j9marie   Have edited my comment, sorry if I offended, but the attacks on the OPs character in light of what she is going through is upsetting to me on a fundamental level.

Post # 141
Member
327 posts
Helper bee

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@ aussiemum1248   Did you save the old thread? I thought you were the one to say you would keep it. 

Post # 142
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@ worthlessbee   I just want to remind you how incredibly impressed I am with your strength and ability to do anything you put your mind to!  This is the hardest part.  It will get easier from here.  You WILL get through this.

Post # 143
Member
6959 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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@ worthlessbee   Hi Not Worthless Bee, just checking in to say that I’m thinking of you!! I hope you realize what a strong, brave, and awesome person you are. You deserve the best!

**BIG HUGS**

Post # 144
Member
327 posts
Helper bee

One step at a time Bee. Don’t let anyone convince you that you’re not getting over it fast enough. You don’t need to prove them (even us really) ANYTHING. You have been brainwashed for so long by this POS of a man. It’s time to do you and only you. You are so strong. Let yourself feel what you’re feeling, you are taking control of your emotions.

Post # 145
Member
4106 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

Not Worthless Bee: I hope you are finding your new normal. I hope you’re allowing yourself to be sad, mad, furious and devastated. Feel everything you need to feel and dont feel like you have to hide it from those that love you (Although i understand the compulsion to do so). I really hope you fight your urge for closure with your ex. I love the idea of writting him a letter, it does amazing things for closure without the fear of adding even more hurt to what you’re already feeling. DONT send the letter, its for you and you alone. He doesnt deserve to know what you’re feeling and may use it against you since he’s so clearly manipulative. But give it a try! Sending you strength and courage. hope you are finding your way *hugs*

Post # 146
Member
16 posts
Newbee

worthlessbee : sending you lots of love and ((hugs)) bee!!  We are here for you xoxo

Post # 147
Member
16 posts
Newbee

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@ creativeplannertobee  Thank you for reaching out and for the support xo  I’m trying to make the steps in making my life better.  Honestly, I wish I could do more for Worthy bee here than take care of my issue right now :’(   

Post # 148
Member
2990 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

You didn’t “make” him do anything. You can’t “make” anyone do anything (unless you have mind control powers like Kilgrave from Jessica Jones). People who say that you “made” them are trying to enslave you by telling you that if you just do everything they want you to do, they’ll be the loving spouse you deserve. What’s just as bad to me, they are refusing to take responsibility for their own actions and instead trying to make their behavior your problem. It’s very childish. Don’t let him convince you that he’s not an autonomous adult whose actions depend on you babying him and catering to his every whim. That’s not how normal relationships work. 

Post # 149
Member
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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@ worthlessbee   You are mourning a death of sorts–the death of the marriage you wanted, even if it wasn’t your reality, with the person you thought he was or could be.

You are strong and with the help of your therapist and support of friends and family you will get through this!! Hugs!

Post # 150
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

So proud of you. I hate that you felt the need to prove yourself to a select few online strangers on top of what you’re going through. I hope you feel the enormous amount of support here for you. 

I hope that this is the worst of how you will feel from this ordeal and that you begin to heal at your own pace. The grieving process is important and should not be discounted.

The topic ‘Worthless bee update’ is closed to new replies.

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