(Closed) Would a “hall pass” ever work in real life? – Possible spoilers!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’s not necessarily giving someone a pass to cheat, it’s giving someone the “freedom” that they think they are lacking due to their marriage, to make their own decisions.

The only thing I will say about it — it’s a situation that I wouldn’t want to get myself into.

Post # 4
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I loved this movie! Fiance and I were both dying laughing at parts.

He and I talked about whether this was realistic or not. 

Fiance actually said, ‘One of the best parts of getting married, is that I’ll never have to be single again.’ Which is so true. Both of us were laughing when the men were trying to pick up girls, because we both remember how hard dating is. All the awkward first conversations, pick up lines, dates, etc.

He did say that a hall pass would work in that it would make the man appreciate the wife more. 

A hall pass would work for the woman too, because she would be able to maybe realize some of the things that she wasn’t contributing to the relationship too (if anything).

But IRL, I doubt anyone would actually successfully execute a hall pass. Both would get lonely or bored. 

Post # 5
Member
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I thought the movie was pretty accurate at the beginning where the guys had literally no idea what to do with themsleves. Married men act like single women bite or something. I also think its very easy to take eachother for granted after being married for 10+ years. But yeah, I have no plans to offer my Darling Husband a hall pass.

Post # 6
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The funniest part was when Fred brought the girl from the bar to the hotel and she sneezed and then “made the mess” in the bathroom! FH and I were CRACKING up at that one. We rented that and Easy A Friday night! I love Friday Night movie nights!

Post # 7
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Just_Squeeze: personally?  I’d walk if my FI/hubby cheated.  Either that, or I’d kill him.  No hall pass granted here!  

It might work for some, but definitely not me.

Post # 9
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My Fiance just rented this movie this weekend.  I said, “really, this is the movie you chose 2 weeks before we get married.” 🙂 he said he thought it was about bad teachers!

I don’t see how a hall pass could work IRL.  I feel I would never really be open to the idea of him sleeping with someone else; it would bother me too much and for a very long time.  Plus I think it would open the flood gates to excusing the other to request more HP or just doing them in secret.  It’s an all around BAD IDEA in my book.

I do feel couples need some ‘me’ time, so I’d certainly feel fine with taking a weekend where we did our own thing, but I don’t think I could ever just ‘check out’ of being his wife, nor would it be permissible for either of us to cheat. (says the non-married girl…maybe i’ll change my tune in 15 years)

Edit:  the movie was pretty funny though!

Post # 10
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

It’s just a movie. Those ideas are ONLY something you will see in the movies.

In real life (for MOST) I can’t see anyone saying ok lets just cheat this one time and then continue on with our marriage. Women are naturally jealous by nature it just wouldn’t work unless that’s what she was into.

It’s unrealistic which make it funny and amusing, but only in the movies. My Darling Husband was joking asking if I would give him a Hallpass and I said sure, but I wouldn’t be here when he got back and he knows I wouldn’t. haha

Post # 11
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m gonna say this and hope you guys believe me.

My Fiance and I know a couple who is engaged.  AND THEY HAVE THREESOMES!  Plus, they got the idea from ANOTHER couple who my Fiance knows and I’ve met the husband in the other couple.

So, I guess it DOES work for some people.  In some strange screwed up way.  

Before any of you ask HOW I know this for a fact, a friend who is my Maid/Matron of Honor has said the guy in the first couple mentioned has ASKED HER to join in a threesome.  To which she said “no” obviously, lol.  As for the other couple, the info came from my Fiance and I don’t doubt his word.

Post # 12
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, I’ve never known a guy who could separate a temporary fantasy from actual reality. Do I think a woman could successfully go out, use her hall pass, and return to reality? Most likely. Do I think a guy could? Absolutely not. The teaser of the unknown I think would be too much for them and would essentially destroy the relationship.

Ok, now I know someone might say not all guys lack that much self control. I know. But I’m speaking based on what I’ve observed from the males in my life, to include my SO, exes, friends and relatives. The second they stray from a path it’s all over for them. They are incapable of wrapping it up and returning to reality. Just my 2 cents.

Post # 13
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Movies influence culture. My bet is eventually people will giving out hall passes or similar offers.

Post # 14
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know a couple like this. They moved to London and the wife says that he can have sex outside of the marriage once a year as long as it’s with an escort. He gives her the same freedom. 

They’ve had this agreement for 5 years and neither of them have had sex outside of their marriage. 

I know them from a journaling site that I’ve belonged to for over 10 years. I’m going to go back in chapters to find the entry on the first year he could do this. 

“As you all know, this weekend was my freebie. If you just started to read me, basically the girl allows me to have sex once a year with a prostitute. Being that this was my first year, I was rather excitied about it. I had prepared myself mentally all week for this. The girl didn’t change her mind or even try to guilt trip me out of it. She had planned to go riding with her friends all weekend, leaving me to have a bit of fun. Everything was in place. The prostitute, the bar, and the hotel were all waiting for me. 

I bet you are on the edge of your seats waiting for me to describe a hot, steamy, sexy, night with some random woman with perky breasts and a thing for anal. Well, it won’t be in this entry my friends. GAH! I choked! There we were, in the bar and I was admiring her long legs. She was talking about how she hates the rain, but loves the smell of wet pavement and I was staring at her chest. She had a beautiful set of tits. After a few drinks we walked across the street to the hotel. 

We got to the room and she quickly got to work. Her coat came off. Then she took the pins out of her hair and whipped it around. My heart started racing and images of us rolling around on the bed began flashing in my head. She ask me if I wanted to talk more or get right to it. The boner in my pants was trying to answer for me and I actually stepped towards her and said, “Let’s talk some more.” 

What the hell Rider. Let’s talk more!? I have a knock dead beautiful woman waiting to put my cock in her mouth and I suggest that she actually use it for more pointless dribble? I sat down and listened to her, but thought about the girl. I wondered if she was safe. If she was riding with a helmet. If she had found some cool dive on a back road somewhere. I wondered what she ate tonight. I wondered if she had a coke or pepsi. I wondered if she did that annoying thing she does with her finger nails when she finds some dingy crap in them and flicks it out with another finger nail. DRIVES ME INSANE when I hear it happening! I wondered…if she was thinking about me. 

Here I was in a pricey motel with a pricey hooker ready to suck my cock at the word go…and I was thinking about my WIFE! Why did she allow me to do this? Was it a test? Is there a hidden camera somewhere? Does she have some kind of secret contract with the agency and this woman? Did she just realize humans were just clever animals, but still animals and was fine with the fact that we weren’t programmed to just fuck one person for the rest of our lives?????? 

I could have sat there all night trying to figure it out, but I didn’t. I stood up, rang a cab, and showed that fantastic woman out of the room. I sat on the bed and thought about this past year of marriage. Did she think THIS would make me happy? Did she think that I was bored already? She thinks this would make me happy…does it appear that I’m not happy with her? I am. I am very happy with her. Am I showing it? Am I? Am I showing her that I am happy every day with her? Think think think. I don’t think I do. Do I? Why can’t I think? Why can’t I pinpoint an example of how I KNOW that I show her that I’m happy. 

Maybe I don’t. Maybe I need to do it more. Maybe I need to be more understanding. Maybe I need to change my attitude. She agreed to this because I made her feel like I wouldn’t be happy with just one person before we got married. Maybe she agreed to this because she knew what a slut I was. 

I’m rambling now. Basically, I had the freedom to have sex with anyone but her this weekend, and I chose not to. 

I did however clean the whole house and did some things in the garden before she came home today. She didn’t even ask me how the weekend went. Didn’t even hint at it. There was no strain in her face like she wanted to know but felt like I should be the one to bring it up but didn’t want to wait for me to bring it up so now that she is stressed kind of strain. Did you follow that? 

I came clean and she just laughed and started to make dinner. 

I am happy with my marriage and sex life. Yes. I needed this weekend to realize that. Until next time. Namaste ” 

Every year, his entries are almost the same. He gets his weekend and then never does it. Last year he faked a stomach bug. ha ha ha. 

Post # 15
Member
7385 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It works for some couples. To each their own. 

Post # 16
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Miss Tattoo: Oh my goodness! I loved reading this! It was like a book! That’s insane! But as most said, to each their own. Some people think it wouldn’t, and some people think in certain relationships — it might give you the “freedom” that you feel you are lacking in your marriage, to make a decision that you feel best with!

I’m so glad you shared this!

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