Post # 1
Not pissed, or dramatic, or losing their minds over….but irked:
FI’s brother/best man (the only member of a bridal party and only person we require at the rehersal other than ourselves) lives 5 hours away and is driving in for a Saturday wedding. Rehersal is Friday at 8pm and Best Man’s wife tells me “We should be in by 7pm…we don’t anticipate any traffic.” Ummm – they’re going to hit traffic so I nicely said – “well you actually might hit traffic” and she responds with “Well we can leave earlier if it will make you feel better but I’m not sure how much earlier.” I’m not sure if she meant that in a nice way or not but it seems like cruising into town an hour before a rehersal with tons of snow on the roads and not leaving time for traffic delays is not a good idea.
I just feel like I’m being made to feel unreasonable because I’m concerned they will be late for the rehersal dinner when I KNOW if FI had done the same thing it would not have sat well with them for their wedding.
Post # 3
@skippydarling: Yep. But I would not think twice about it afterwards. I did not want to think about whether or not people at my rehearsal were cutting it close– they all made it on time! We actually had the opposite problem of people getting there way too early– the kids were bored and horribly behaved by the time the rehearsal started.
Post # 4
@skippydarling: Well, you’ve let them know it would be a good idea to leave earlier, so I think that’s the best you can do. I know it sucks because they’ll probably be delayed just like you figured, but unfortunately you can’t control that. So, yes, I’d be a bit irked, but it’s out of your hands and hopefully they’ll make it on time. I’d let it go as you can’t control it and it just wastes your energy to worry or be mad over it.
As a side note–holy crap, girl, you’re getting married in two days!! Congrats!! 😀
Post # 5
Thanks – I know I can’t control everything but the conversation with my FBIL’s wife was strange. It’s like she kept mentioning “don’t worry.” “if it makes you feel better” like I was this loose cannon bridezilla.
I feel SO under the microscope as a bride. Even the most simple requests people assume you’re hiding these true feelings of rage and anger. It sucks.
Post # 6
Probably a little, but I’d try to let it go. I agree that you’ve done your part by warning them to consider weather-related traffic. The rest is up to them. And congrats on the upcoming wedding!
Post # 7
@skippydarling: Yeah, that would annoy me. Traffic is inevitable. I think it’s kind of disrespectful as well to be messing with the bride and groom’s time. That kind of thing is a huge pet peeve- adults should know that traffic happens and delays happen. Leave earlier than you think you need to!
Post # 8
@DuckEBee: Yea – I’m actually done being annoyed.
Thanks for responding to my vent!
Post # 9
@skippydarling: Conversations with my SILs are often difficult. I wonder if you’d have better success having your FI talk to his brother.
Anyway, for me it’s in the class of “annoying but not a show stopper”.
Post # 10
This happened to us – and it was annoying!
My SIL’s sister was an hour and a half late to the rehearsal dinner due to traffic – dinner started at 7pm. Her family thought it was fine to sit around and wait. Our family was starving and had young children who were in the wedding party the next day and their parents wanted to get them fed and in bed!
Post # 11
Really your wedding will survive if they’re late for the rehearsal or miss it all together. You’re not rehearsing a broadway musical. Just have someone lined up to stand in for your FBIL if he is late, and ask that person to explain the routine to him.
pick your battles. don’t make this be one.
Post # 13
@skippydarling: Yes Ma’am, legitimately irked for sure! I just noted your date and the current date/time and I feel a little giddy, it’s TIME!! Late attendees or not, I hope you have a fantastic dinner and wedding. I see you on the boards quite a bit and you are always so nice and friendly to other bees, so that must be a testament to your offline character as well and if so, perhaps the universe will return your beautiful energy, divert traffic and get their behinds’ to rehearsal on time ;-P
Don’t worry, be happy & beautiful!!! I can’t wait to see your pictures. Muahhh.
Post # 14
I just wanted to say I’m excited for you! Wedding is just about here. Good luck and have the best wedding ever!
Post # 15
Do they both work on Friday and can’t get a lot of time off? I would be a little more understanding if they’re late since they have a 5 hour drive. It’s a big commitment! I’d ignore what they said, your wedding will be fine.