(Closed) Would anyone else be hurt by this, or am I over reacting?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Would you be hurt?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 18
    Member
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    For the poll I voted yes, however I wouldn’t be hurt for longer than 5 minutes. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    5360 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    View original reply
    daniga:  I’d be hurt for sure. There’s nothing to be done about it, but you have every right to be bummed. But you will still have a great time with the people who are coming. Try to move past this disappointment and just enjoy the party!

    Post # 20
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee

    You are entitled to feel how you feel, however you can’t control what others say or do so try not to dwell on it.  Enjoy your day with those that can attend and let it go.  

    Post # 21
    Member
    881 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    daniga:  If you aren’t hosting your own shower, I’m not sure why your friend would feel the need to text you with her RSVP as you are not the host (or why you are keeping track of the RSVPs for that matter). Her decline should have gone directly to the host. 

    If she was reaching out to let you know – “Hey I’m sorry but I won’t be able to make your shower afterall. I hope you have a great day!” Then this was your opportunity to say something like, “Aw, that’s too bad! I’ll miss you! What’s going on in your life?” 

    And then she would have told you – It’s my best friends bridal shower/I’m a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding and her shower is next weekend… or perhaps, my Mom got in a bad car accident last night and I need to take a trip home next weekend to help.

    You can’t really be upset unless you know the reason why. Right now you are assuming she’s picking this other person instead of you without knowing what is really going on. Your feelings could be rightly hurt. Or you could be making assumptions. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    View original reply
    daniga:  I was in your shoes with not many people able to attend my shower and then a previous “yes” friend texting me to cancel for another event. It hurt, sure, but don’t worry, it passes. The shower is really only fun for the bride and, as a PP mentioned, people prioritize different friends. We all do it But it doesn’t mean that you aren’t valued as a friend, it’s more of a reflection of the perceived value of that experience. Just sit back and enjoy being celebrated and it will still be a special experience.

    Post # 23
    Member
    588 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    While I would not be upset per se, I also might not forget about it, for example if I had 2 events and one was for her I might not go.  But I wouldn’t be upset.  Though I do have to admit that it is kind of tacky for someone to RSVP and then back out on that.

    As for the hosting your own shower thing, I don’t find that so inappropriate, but again that is my opinion.

    Post # 24
    Member
    5879 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I wouldn’t care. To me these parties are optional.

    Post # 25
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee

    View original reply
    daniga:  Hurt, no. Annoyed, yes. I have friends who do this, and as you said, it’s basically a blatent ‘this person is more important’ action. I say get over it after about a day but keep this action in mind when you are rescheduling your time for her. In my case, if something better comes up, I no longer make a diehard effort to not let those specific people down. It’s all about allocating your energy and efforts toward the proper individuals. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee

    View original reply
    daniga:  Hurt, no. Annoyed, yes. I have friends who do this, and as you said, it’s basically a blatent ‘this person is more important’ action. I say get over it after about a day but keep this action in mind when you are rescheduling your time for her. In my case, if something better comes up, I no longer make a diehard effort to not let those specific people down. It’s all about allocating your energy and efforts toward the proper individuals and yourself. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    2072 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Try not to take it too personally.  A lot of people don’t like to go to showers – do you?  I mean … I don’t.  I am 33 so I’ve been invited to a TON of baby and bridal showers and honestly, if I can possibly get out of it I get out of it.  It isn’t because I don’t care for the person its just an extra gift, awkard games, boring, not how I want to spend my afternoon. 

    The topic ‘Would anyone else be hurt by this, or am I over reacting?’ is closed to new replies.

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