Post # 1
So I was watching old reruns of some show on [email protected] earlier, and in this one episode, the wife finds out that her husband had proposed to her way back when with a ring that he’d purchased for another woman (although he never actually proposed to that woman.) She kind of flipped out and made him buy her a new e-ring.
I’m probably totally in the minority here, but would this NOT bother anyone else?
I obviously don’t know how I’d feel for sure since I’ve never been in this situation, but I think as long as the ring was in the style that I liked/wanted, I’d be… totally okay with it. If he KNEW that it was a style I hated and proposed with it anyway because it would be more practical, that’s obviously a different story.
I guess to me… regardless of when or for whom the ring was purchased… *I* got the guy in the end, and he gave me the ring. As long as I thought the ring was pretty, I’d be totally cool with it. Thoughts?
Post # 3
oh no, i wouldn’t be happy with that. knowing that he wandered around shops trying to find the perfect ring for ‘her’ and hadn’t done that for me? knowing that the ring on my finger was bought with her in mind?
absolutely not. even if i liked the style, i wouldn’t want it.
Post # 4
I think as long as the ring happened to be a style that I had professed a preference for and he decided to use it for that reason then it would be fine. I would not be okay with him just giving me the ring and hoping I would like it/keep my mouth shut if I didn’t because it was a gift.
Post # 5
I hate saying this because I’m pretty laid back, but yes, I’d be bothered by it.
He picked out and bought that ring, a process that is nervewracking and extremely heartfelt, for another woman in mind.
I don’t know what I would do to rectify the situation, but yeah, it wouldn’t go over too well.
Post # 7
Post # 8
Something like that has happened to me before. An ex who was married and divorced long before I came around gave me a necklace his ex wife actually wore often.
I found a picture of her wearing it. He gave it to her for their anniversary. I called her an asked her if she wanted it back. She said no. So I threw it in a river and broke up with him a week later.
Post # 9
If it were totally my style, maybe I wouldn’t care. He didn’t propose to her with it. It also kinda depends how their relationship ended and if he is still in communication with her. So I guess it depends on a lot. I think I would prefer that he had recycled the diamond in a setting I liked or something maybe.
Chances are the ring wouldn’t be the same style lol. FI has been married before and his ex had a three stone princess, mine and what I wanted is a solitaire round so if he had proposed to me with that ring and had never proposed to her with it I would be sad it wasn’t what I wanted but accept it and if then later I found out that it was meant for an ex then I would be mad because it wasn’t what I wanted and he just gave it to me becuase he had it. I guess whats weirder in this Nick at Nite situation is that he even had the ring in the first place. Why hold on to it? Why not return it after the fallout.
Post # 10
Yes, it would bother me. However, I know that engagement rings are supposed to be returned to the giver in the event of a breakup, so what would he do with it? Resell it and then buy another at a huge cost?
I would probably suggest that we had the diamonds reset in a setting of my choice to “break the curse” of broken relationships. Sorry… I’m a bit superstitious like that…
Post # 11
I’m generally pretty laid back but, yeah, this would bother me. I love my engagement ring – it’s really unique, and I can see my fiance put a lot of thought into getting something that he thought was “me”. It would almost be like if he picked out a dress for me to wear at the wedding that an old fiance had planned on wearing! Normally, a ring is just a shiny lump of rock and metal to me, but I like the thought that he bought this with me in mind, not someone else.
Post # 12
It would hurt my feelings he didn’t take any time or effort for me, whereas he did for her. If he really wanted to do that, then I would have liked to been asked if I’m ok with that kind of thing before he did it. I’d want to see the ring and on the off chance it turned out to be my dream ring, then maybe.
Or, I’d agree to use the stone, if it was a shape and size I liked, and put it in a different setting with my tastes in mind.
Post # 13
Not okay. No way. Completely misses the significance of what an engagement ring IS.
I just asked Fiance and he said: “No that’s not okay because the ring would have been chosen for that specific person.”
Post # 14
First of all, I love Yes, Dear! lol. That episode was hilarious.
But yea… I’d be pissed if I were her too. I think at a minimum he should’ve had the stones reset into a new setting for her
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2012 - Watch tower lodge, Black hawk state Park Rock Island, IL
I would TOTALLY be bothered by this! most men seek out a ring that fits their SO personality and style, for him to give me a ring he picked out especially for her….i would lose it! my Fiance first wife’s wedding dress he found out she had actually bought for a previous wedding to someone else and the weddding was called off, she had it in the back of her closet for years and decided to wear it to marry him….to me its the same thing, you buy a dress to wear for the man you love, you want to look nice for him and your special day, to wear a dress you bought to look nice for another man is just wrong!
Post # 16
I would want something he picked for me, not for someone else. I think the sentiment behind a ring that was meant for another woman would get to me.