(Closed) Would appreciate your feedback! Thanks for your time! I want to be happy :)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@sda519:  why don’t you want it to appear that you broke it off? This isn’t a game it’s your life. Talk to him! Either tell him your worries and give him a chance to go to counselling together and work it out or tell him why you are leaving. Neither of you sound terribly mature based on what you posted. you decided to get married so early before you knew each other at all really. Sure, sometimes couples get lucky bc who they thought their partner was turned out to be right more or less and they turned out to be truly compatible, communicative, etc. I’d guess that’s a rare situation and it’s certainly not yours. You figure out communication before you get married bc some couples never figure this out! He sounds like a jerk honestly. Perhaps the whole thing was a mistake and you need to cut your losses. 

Post # 18
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Sounds like you guys are trying to put square pegs into round holes with this relationship. Why was he in such a rush?? Why are you going along with it?

I think postponing was obviously the right move, and if I’m being honest, perhaps cancelling altogher and ending the relationship is the best thing for you.

I see how it hurt to go from him being in power-forward mode, to him postponing…it’s jarring, but you need to take a step back and take stock in this relationship. Really focus on what you want/need and what you’re currently getting in a relationship. Then decide how you’d like to move forward.

Post # 19
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@sda519:  Wow… I’m sorry to say this, but I believe that splitting with this guy is the best move.  He doesn’t sound completely sane to me.  Proposes after 5 months…. ok, I guess.  Although I firmly believe it takes a year of knowing someone before you are actually going to be yourself around them all the time, and there are no more surprise things to learn about each other that might make a relationship difficult.  I know a lot of people don’t agree with me, and got engaged or married after mere months and things worked out fine, but it’s stories like these that really make me wonder when someone moves that fast.

Even if you got engaged after 5 months…. wow no reason to make the wedding a month or even three months after that.  It’s no wonder at this point you’re considering if you should even be in this relationship!  He sounds like maybe he’s got a bad case of wanting the dream life (a wife and kids) and isn’t willing to be patient AT ALL or respect your feelings in the matter.  The other little conflicts that you mention having…. those are not healthy at all!  You shouldn’t be bickering all the time and you shouldn’t be having major fights all the time.  Everyone fights, but it sounds like he might be critical and controlling.  I think it’s wise that you haven’t set a new date yet.  I would encourage you to think seriously about taking a break from this guy… it sounds like he’s not really respecting you or your feelings. 

Post # 20
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m sorry, but I say RUN far away from this guy. Based upon what you’ve said, it makes absolutely no sense to marry him.

He does not sound committed to you at all.

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