(Closed) Would culture or religion ever be a deal breaker for you?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Depending on the religion and/or culture; they pretty much go hand in hand, yes, either one of them could be a deal breaker for me. Luckily, I don’t have to worry about it.

Post # 4
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t have a problem with it if they didn’t try to convert me. I would want to remain christian always and I couldn’t be with someone that didn’t accept that part of me and tried to change it.

Post # 5
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would be able to for both culture and religion (I am more spiritual and just try to live my life in a good way).   Just so nothing along the lines of seeing women as second class or to serve the husband was involved within the culture.

Post # 6
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

@Miss. Meeps: agreed, I wouldn’t deal with that crap either. haha

Post # 7
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with @noritake22 that they go hand in hand… for the most part. Now my Darling Husband is mexican with a family that much more traditional “culturally” but he has kinda “broken off” I guess you could say.

They would be a dealbreaker for me, especially Religious beliefs, b/c I know that to really follow and walk as a fully devoted follower of Christ, I couldn’t be with someone that didn’t believe the same thing.

It was the top most priority on my “list” and in “dating” or deciding to date someone I kept to my list =)

 

EDIT: And I just wanted to add that on being a Christian he would (and is) the same kind.. Protestant Non-Denominational… b/c even different denominations makes a HUGE difference it what one is called to do or sacrifice… like Non-Denominational is HUGELY different than Catholic.. or even some Baptist or Methodist or any other denomination really… They all come with their own perspectives.. some things added by man or “committee” and to walk them out you would really need a partner that walked the same walk… <– hope that makes sense =)

Post # 8
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Yeah. I don’t think I could be with someone who was very religious or maybe even religious at all. I’ve only ever dated atheists. 

Post # 9
Member
841 posts
Busy bee

Religion would be a deal breaker for me. When it is just us with no kids meh, not so much. But when children come about, you definitely want to be on the same page.

Post # 10
Member
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Neither would matter as long as they didn’t have a negative effect on the relationship. As in, if he wanted to convert me or wanted me to take part in aspects of his culture that I didn’t like/wasn’t comfortable with. 

I find the entire aspect of culture so fascinating. There is the concept of third culture kids and I am definitely one of them. I grew up in Eastern Europe but have lived in Canada for the majority of my life, I still don’t really identify as one or the other but as a blend of all the cultures that I have been exposed to. 

 

Post # 11
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

most mainline cultures or religions i wouldnt have an issue with it but if my husband or his family expected me to convert or the practise of their faith made me feel subservient to him then i would have a major problem

Post # 12
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yes definitely.  FI and I are completely different religions, (he’s Catholic and I’m Jewish).  It has never been an issue.  The reason this works is because we are equally involved/uninvolved in our respective religions.  I could never be with someone whose religious commitment was not on the same level as mine even if they were the same religion as me.  For example I dated a guy before Fiance who was also Jewish like me but he was so much more religious than me that it caused major problems and I just couldn’t handle it.

I could also be with someone of a different culture as long as the basic moral values were the same. Fiance is Italian and I’m Russian so while we do have different cultures I guess they are both European/western so it’s not that different.  I could never be with someone from a culture that values women as less than men.  That’s a no no for me.

Post # 13
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@USAandKSA: I don’t have a problem with it as long as I don’t have to conform to it. However, there could be issues down the road if not discuss in the beginning.

Example 1: He’s religious and I’m not. Although I’m not converting, what to do about the kid? If the kid is free to decide what it want to do, then I’m fine with it. I would not be okay if he trieds to influent the kid.

Luckily I don’t have to deal with this scenario because we’re not religious.

Example 2: I’m asian and he’s Russian. I don’t want to do traditional asian wedding nor Russian wedding (no idea what it is). As long as he’s okay with it, then culture is not a problem.

This scenario applies to us, so we are doing standard “Americanize” wedding.

Post # 14
Member
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think culture would be a problem unless he wanted me to be subservient.  Religion would definitely be a problem.  There are certain religions or beliefs that I think are a bit “out there” and would not be able to deal with that.

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